Update from Connor's Mommy

Joy's Journal Monday, August 17, 2009 MacKenzie and Carson started school this past week. I think it was good for them to get back to their school and their friends. For them, home is a much more difficult reminder of Connor's absence. School will be a welcome relief for them. It was a little harder for me and Tait. I was so relieved that the 3rd grade hall was not close to Carson's class this year. It was weird just going into just two classrooms to take pictures and give hugs to start the new school year. It felt like we were forgetting something. I guess this is just the beginning of new "firsts". We'd appreciate your prayers for this "new normal". I heard this song on the radio the other day. It is a song called "Heaven is the Face", by Steven Curtis Chapman. He wrote it about his little girl who passed away several months ago in an accident. It struck home with me. I can so identify with him that Heaven is not just where Jesus lives anymore, but where my little boy lives, too. That's what Heaven is for me now. "Heaven is the face of a little boy With blue green eyes That disappear when he smiles. Heaven is the place Where he calls my name Says, "Daddy please come play with me for awhile." Chorus: God, I know, it's all of this and so much more, But God, You know, that this is what I'm aching for. God, you know, I just can't see beyond the door. So right now... Heaven is the sound of him breathing deep, Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing. And Heaven is the weight of him in my arms, Being there to keep him safe from harm while he dreams Bridge: But in my mind's eye I can see a place Where Your glory fills every empty space. All the cancer is gone, Every mouth is fed, And there's no one left in the orphans' bed. Every lonely heart finds their one true love, And there's no more goodbye, And no more not enough, And there's no more enemy (no more). Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss And a thousand other little things I miss with him gone. Heaven is the place where he takes my hand And leads me to You, And we both run into Your arms. Oh God, I know, it's so much more than I can dream. It's far beyond anything I can conceive. So God, You know, I'm trusting You until I see Heaven in the face of my little boy." Always believing, Joy

HAPPY 6th ANNIVERSARY!!!

8-23-2003 to 8-23-2009

Six Years!!!! Wow, it really doesn't seem like it could be six. For my Princess....I love you and look forward to a thousand generations! Your joy, your heart, your smile, your love for me...All things that bring me such joy! May each day we continue to say "I do!"

Joy's Journal (Connor's Mom)

Tait and I were in New Canaan, CT this past weekend participating in the TeamConnor 500 for 500 Relay. Our friends, Matt and Tonya Russo host this event each year. Runners take turns running 5 mile legs at a time, until we reach our goal of 500 miles. The Russo's home is the home base. Each runner runs a five mile loop in the neighborhood, ending their leg where they started - at the Russo's house. This run is so gorgeous. The surroundings are so beautiful and the weather was perfect (a lot different than our hot weather in Texas). All the sponsorship funds go to TeamConnor. I think the run this year will raise $150,000 or more. It is a tradition for Tait and I to end the race. As we complete the last five miles of the relay, we run uphill for approximately 1/8 of a mile. At first, you cannot see the finish line. You just know it is coming up ahead. Then, you starting hearing the noise. At first, it is a distant whisper and it slowly grows louder. Then, you recognize it. It is the shouts of encouragement and joy. It is clapping and cheering that conveys everyone's love and support of you. Eventually, their faces come into view. Huge smiles light up their faces as they cheer you on to the finish line. I felt a rush of love, joy and accomplishment. All I could think of at that moment was this must be what it is like to enter Heaven (times 1,000 or 1,000,000). How wonderful Connor must have felt to have family and friends cheering him HOME! He must have been beaming! I can just see his little legs picking up pace, running faster than he ever has. I'm sure as Connor approached, they were slapping him High Fives and giving him "knuckles". They were patting him on the back. Then the group separated, forming two lines that ushered him down the center. At the end of the line, he must have looked up into Jesus' face. Wow! I don't even know how to describe what that must have felt like. Knowing Connor, he probably reached out and gave Jesus one of his famous, fantastic hugs. Oh, what a hug that must have been! I'm sure Connor felt loved and cherished as never before. As much as we miss Connor, Tait and I could never wish him back here - back to the challenges and pain that this life offered him. Never wish him away from the One that loves him more than anyone. We find comfort and peace in the assurance of Heaven for those who believe.

"He will swallow up death for all time, and the Lord GOD will wipe tears away from all faces." Isaiah 25:8 Even after my skin is destroyed, Yet from my flesh I shall see God; Whom I myself shall behold, And whom my eyes will see and not another. Job 19:26-27 Please pray for our friends, McKenzie Mae (www.caringbridge/visit/mckenziemae) and Caden Ledbetter (www.caringbridge/visit/cadenledbetter) . They have relapsed with Neuroblastoma and are faced with a future of not a lot of medical hope. Their hope lies in a miracle from God. Always believing, Joy Cruse

Update on Nate - 08/19/2009 - From Jackie

"Nate has five radiation treatments left. His radiation oncologist along with his regular oncologist are pleased with how he has been doing. He is feeling well most of the time and walking without his walker better than he has since he was diagnosed. He will not have a MRI to see how the cancer responded until October. We are praying that his outward progress is a sign of what is going on inside his body. Thank you to everyone who continues to pray for our little angel. He is only three, but inspires us to face everyday because he just doesn't give up and we aren't going to either. We are so thankful for our family support as I have returned to work. Nate is enjoying this time with his grandmas and I look forward to getting home in the afternoons. We love you all and know that you are praying for our entire family.

One more thing: Nate has been blessed with a WONDERFUL group of people at the radiation center. We actually looks forward to getting up and going to see them. He plans what he is going to wear to bed based on the reaction he gets each morning. He carefully selects his pajamas. :)"

Houston stuff

As most of you know, we went to Houston at the beginning of July for follow up appts. for both of us.

B always changes his own oil. However, we were running late to get out of town. So, B gave in, for the first time since he bought his truck many years ago, and took it to some oil change place. He ran home for lunch and this is what I saw when I went in to the garage after he left....they apparently tightened a gasket too tight or something of the such and messed it up. This is a huge pile of oil that was all over our garage floor.
Then, once we arrived in Houston and were roaming the halls, we found this picture. The lady on the far left was my EEG tech, then the manager, and finally, the guy and the lady on the right were two of my nurses!! It was so fun to see the faces on the poster throughout the hospital and actually know them!!

More T Bar M

This is super overdue. This should have been posted in June.

Remember that we took our friend Joey's son to T Bar M Travis? Well, we got to take another special friend of ours to camp this summer. She went to T Bar M New Braunfels!

K and I have known each other for many, many years. She is a special friend to me. She has a beautiful daughter, R! R is a beautiful young woman that I've had the opportunity to watch grow and mature! I was even there for her birth . Thus, R, is super special to me. I love her dearly.

So, we were so excited to get to take R to camp this year.

In the truck and ready to go!

K is ready for the trip, too!

Hank's excited that he gets to go...

Hank quickly fell in love with Miss R!!

Sharing some kisses!

We all woke up pretty early to get to camp on time. So, there were quite a few nappers in the car.

Once we got to camp, she was quickly whisked away by the coaches!
She's already made friends and having fun!

One last good-bye for all of us!

A "good-bye" hug for Mom!

Hank loves camp life, he gets loved on by sweet girls!!
Who's that guy in the yellow shirt? He sure is a hottie!!! ; )
Then he gets to relax...

Rudder getting attention at camp.

Hank loved getting to cuddle with K.

Camp is in New Braunfels, which is right by Gruene, TX. Did you see Hope Floats?

This is Gruene Hall. Parts of the movie were shot inside.

Rudder took a likin' to K. He doesn't do that with many people.

Rudder already misses Miss R!

We got a sweet letter from her while she was at camp. She apparently had a blast!! Yeah!!!

Donkey Kisses

You read that right...donkey kisses!!!!

Have you ever been kissed by a donkey?

I can officially say that I have!

Last night, as we were leaving church, we were driving down some of the streets by the church seeing if there was any land (B would love to get some land someday). So, we were driving around dreaming...

All of a sudden, B says, "there's a donkey." For a moment, we both thought it must be a fake statue that someone thought was fun to put at the edge of their yard (no real zoning against stuff like that out in the country). Until we saw it's ears twitch.

Having grown up "in the country," B said it would be just fine and to leave it. Being a city girl, I said we had to find it's home. No animal should be out of it's gate, house, etc., especially without a collar!! ; )

We drove down the street and found a lady outside that showed us which house it belonged to and told us it usually was in a gate. We went back to the house where it belonged and the owner's came out...sure enough it wasn't supposed to be out. Their daughter had mowed that day and accidentally left the gate open a bit and Jenny (that's the donkey's name) pushed her way right on out of that gate.

So, Jenny's human Mom and Dad came out with bare feet & carrots in hand! Jenny decided to have some fun, though. She hid behind B's truck and then took off down the street. B still had on his work clothes. So, it was fun watching him chase her, too. While the boys were chasing her up and down the street, Jenny's Mom and I stood in the front yard and talked...it was relaxing. Turns out that her daughter goes to the same church as us and was up there last night, too!

Anyway, Jenny finally ran back in to her gate. They handed me the carrot to feed to her. I was kind of scared she would eat my hand and so I just let her have the whole thing. I asked if she liked being petted. They said, "yes, but on her back, not her head." So, Jenny got some good scratches from me.

Then, yep, here it comes, she stuck her little tongue out and started licking my other hand! You heard it right here...I got my first donkey kisses ever last night! It was crazy, she just kept kissing me! It was the sweetest thing ever, if you can find sweetness in a donkey kissing you! And I did! Jenny and I had fun talking & hanging last night. Their daughter made it home from church and we spoke with her for a while, too! We eventually had to leave because we were being attacked by mosquitoes. I had 3 bites on my face and close to ten on my arm. B was getting bit, too!

I so wanted to take a picture, but it was getting super dark, the truck was far away, and the mosquitoes were fierce. So, you'll just have to imagine! I'm sure you will all come up with some fun images. Anyway, it was quite a treat for this city girl!!

...Donkey Kisses...

I'm a Little Tea Cup

The last few days have been fairly rough...so, this was a nice encouragement...
Someday, Lord!!!

******************************************************************************

There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups. Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked, "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "Don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone," but he only smiled, and gently said; "Not yet!"

Then WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was made to suit himself and then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door.. "Help! Get me out of here!" I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, 'Not yet.'

When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on he shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! "Ah, this is much better," I thought. But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over The fumes were orrible. I thought I would gag. 'Oh, please, Stop it, Stop, I cried. He only shook his head and said. 'Not yet!'.

Then suddenly he puts me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged.. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering "What's he going to do to me next?" An hour later he handed me a mirror and said 'Look at yourself.' And I did. I said, That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!!!

Quietly he spoke: "I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

The moral of this story is this: God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect will.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink," try this.

Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest tea cup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter.

Update on Nate - 08/08/2009

Jackie provided this update on Nate. Let's all continue to pray for Nate and God's sustaining help for him and others that are going through this treatment.

"Nate has finished his third week of radiation. He is feeling great. They are still weaning him off the steroids. His appetite seems to be getting back to normal. He isn't eating nonstop anymore. He is getting active again and wants to take his walker everywhere. Today he was outside with Wes helping him trim the bushes and told the bushes, "you're going down." His personality is just as silly as ever. We are enjoying everyday that he feels well and ask that you all continue praying for his healing. Also remember Allison, Ryan,Lisa Jane, Paige, Reese,Brittany and Gael(friends going through treatment with Nate) as they are fighting to beat cancer as well. We love you all!!!!"

God Has Heard You!

Wow! After shedding many tears the other day once I read my precious hubby's post...

First, I was impressed with his ability to hack into the blog! Second, I was completely humbled. What an amazing man! I am so unworthy of such a Rockstar! He encourages me to the feet of our Father everyday; sometimes with words, typically with the overflow of his heart!

The first 28 days of July, I had 55 seizures. In the six days at the end of July through early August, I had 58. So, it was overwhelming. My brain (clearly) wasn't working very well. So many of the things that had come back to me (i.e., memory, energy, ability to think clearly) with the decrease I had been having in the seizures, disappeared quite rapidly. I just couldn't think straight or complete a sentence for many days. As many of you know, the docs found that each seizure is the equivalent of me running a marathon (in regard to strain on my heart, brain, body, etc.)-of course, I don't get a marathon runners body out of it! ; )

So, having two seizures a day is tough, but having 10 or more each day is exhausting. I had many days there that it was hard to get up and move at all. My sweet hubby came home each day and prepared dinner and took care of anything else that needed taking care of...

I had a few more rough days after B's post. However, I received such precious encouragement from so many of you that you were praying, begging, and pleading with the Lord for healing. Your responses helped me move through each day, knowing I wasn't alone, but that you were crying out on my behalf.

Then, yesterday, Praise Jesus, we saw changes!! I didn't have any seizures at all!!! I had quite a few auras (which the docs tell me are still seizures), but I can keep moving through the day with those, I just feel nauseated most of the day! So, I've never counted auras as seizures!

Early this morning, I had one seizure. However, thank you, Jesus, I've gone the rest of the day without any seizures (still having some auras). We want NONE to be the trend!! Keep crying out to the Lord, please!

Again, I am so humbled by all of you that have reached out to me this week to let me know you are praying, those of you that have sent me cards of encouragement, and many others that don't even read the blog that reached out to me because they felt the Lord was laying me on their heart! WOW!!

Finally, please say a special prayer of blessing on my amazing husband that sacrifices daily to serve and love me, no matter the cost.

SHOWERS OF PRAYER

Here lately we have been experiencing no lack of rain. We welcomed the most recent showers and the unseasonably cooler weather that has come with it. However, I am asking you today to send more showers...showers of prayer.

Wow...what a tough and exhausting end for July. More so, what an even tougher start to August. To all who read the blog, thank you. Your encouragement and prayers mean so much to M. I am on my knees this morning asking the Lord to heal her! Will you join me? Please let's bathe my Princess in prayer and beseech the Lord to end her illness, to end her suffering, and to restore her. For now over three years Princess has endured seizure after seizure. Since March, as many of you know, she has been on a special diet to help control and heal her of her seizures. The diet has been working! We have seen M reduce her medication, have less seizures on a daily basis, and start to feel like her old self again. But for some reason, she has taken a turn since last Wednesday...

Since last Wednesday, just now in the last 5 days, she has had around 50 seizures. This is very strange especially since she went almost the entire month of July with just over 50 seizures. So needless to say we are frustrated, tired, exhausted, confused, and numb. What is different? What happened? Was it something we ate? Was it something we did? Was it this crazy Texas weather? Was it that we got out on the left side of the bed and not the right? Was it we drank too much water? Not enough water?

While many of you know about our relationship with our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, it is in times like this morning and over the last few days that we look to Him. Rather than grumble at her circumstance, I am amazed daily how M goes before the Lord constantly, seeking Him in times of struggle. Drawing closer to the Lord has been a wonderful experience through these last three years. Despite the adversity, the countless medications, the surgeries, the hospital trips...we have held fast...M has sought Jesus, she has not turned from His ways, and has treasured His words more than food itself.

And so, again we are seeking out prayer. Prayer for healing that only God can provide and give. Prayer that would heal M and all of us would be truly captivated by God's glory and power. Would you please pray for M continually today. Tomorrow? Let's bathe her and all be on our knees together for her.

Lord, may M be healed from her illness of epilepsy TODAY! Lord, through our weaknesses you are strong. It is in your power and your control Jesus, that all things exist. M is fearfully and wonderfully made in your image. You are the giver of life and we are worthless without You. Thank you for the life you have given M. Thank you for the strength you have given her. Thank you for the countless blessings you have bestowed on her. I pray Father, that you, today, would make her body new. Take away her seizures...Take away this illness. Thank you for the light she is and the glory that you receive. I humbly come to you today, again, and know that man does not have the power to heal without you. That you not only just heal our physical ailments, but you alone can heal our spiritual ailment and give us everlasting life. Thank you for that life you have given M. Thank you for that life you have given me. But now, oh Lord, heal M's physical body. Heal every portion of her brain that has been affected. Remove these seizures and put your signature on your healing of M. Give her renewed strength. Give her a renewed life and a fresh start from TODAY forward. Thank you that you want to be so involved in our lives.

AMEN

Nate

Wes provided this update on Nate toady and wanted everyone to know.

"Nate completed another week of radiation. He has been gaining weight from the steroids and is being weaned off of them. He was in good spirits today and actually played quite a bit with his brothers. He went to the Rangers game this past week and got to meet Michael Young and stay in a suite. He also went to the Ringling Bros circus and loved seeing the elephants and a balloon popping porcupine. He even got to dunk some wonderful people in a dunking booth this week. Go Rockwall cares and Keller Williams! Go Rangers, Hello Win Column, and Michael Young. Thank you all for your prayers. Nate is a fighter and God is taking care of him. Please continue to pray that the cancer is taken away and that his good cells are protected, God is so good to us. Please believe Psalm 20, it has given us strength this week. Also please pray for Allison, Ryan, Lisa Jane, and Brittany. These are all children who need your prayers desperately at this time, all are battling cancer and their families mean a lot to us. God bless."

Quick Prayers

Just one more quick request for prayers! We are amazed by all of you precious, wonderful prayer warriors. It is humbling & overwhelming! However, I am coming back for more prayers!

The month of July was truly going great, I was only averaging around 2 seizures per day which was a decrease from the month of June and an even greater decrease from the month of May. For whatever reason, the seizures went crazy on Wednesday. I had 55 seizures for the entire month of July through Tuesday evening. The last three days of the month (Wed-Fri), I had 23 more seizures for a total of 78 for the month. So, clearly a big jump and it just wears me out...Praise the Lord for an amazing hubby that comes home from a long day of work and recognizes I don't feel well and starts making dinner, no questions asked. He is unbelievable and such a gift from the Lord.

We're just so ready for these to be over...Again, thank you for your prayers and keep begging the Lord for these to go away completely!

Here's a random pic to break up the monotony!!

Thank you sweet prayer warriors!!!

Prayers, please!

Today I need to beg for prayers. I have lots of updating to do from the last few weeks, but I don't know that it will happen today.

I have been blessed this week, with four days of no seizures. It is such a relief and allows me to participate in life. My energy starts to return and B recognizes his wife again...

We are truly seeing the Lord use this diet to bring healing. I was on super high doses of two meds. Now that I'm on the diet, I've been able to completely stop one med and reduce my dose of the other med dramatically!

This month, on the diet & low doses of meds, I am having fewer seizures on average than I was when I was on high dose meds. However, yesterday was a rough day. I had five seizures that seemed to come out of nowhere. Today, it's almost 2:30p and I've already had six seizures.

It has seemed (while on this diet) that each time I start to have more seizures, it's time to reduce my meds (basically, it's like I'm overdosing since the diet works as a medication, too). I have seen a reduction in seizures as I've reduced the meds each time. So, I could be due for another reduction in meds. However, the doc doesn't want me to go below this current dose. The doc has also stated that he knows that I understand this diet better now than he could and so he's putting some of the treatment in my hands.

Point of all this, I'm torn with what to do.
a. I want the seizures to stop. They just wear me out and keep me from participating in life.
b. I don't know if I should try to reduce my meds and see what happens or do I just stay at this dose?
c. Could there be something that I ate in the last day or so that isn't compatible with the diet and I just don't know it?
d. Thank you all for being so faithful to pray.

We want God to be the hero in all of this, not the meds, not the diet, not anything else. It is just a weary-ing (don't know if that's a word) process. Thank you for your faithful prayers (don't forget to pray for poor B, having to put up with me).

nate

Nate was on TV last night. Don't know if any of you were watching the Ranger game, but Nate & his Daddy were on there. You can tell that Nate doesn't feel that great! Wes was interviewed and got to share Nate's story, though! It was special! It looked like someone got some box seats for them and some other kiddos with cancer! Such a fun outing!

If you're local, come give blood on Friday! We want to so badly, but B can't because he's had a blood based cancer & chemo. I can't because of the meds I am on...So, please come give a little extra on our behalf!!!!

Blood Drive for Nate THIS Friday July 31st

A note from Rhonda Mishler:

There is a Blood Drive for Nate Oxford THIS Friday, July 31st from 10:00 to 3:00 in the Rockwall Kroger parking lot. If anyone would be willing to donate please call me at 214-500-3093. Keller Williams Realty is sponsoring the event, I will be there the entire time. We really need more donors. Seems like I am always asking for Blood!!!!
Thanks,
Rhonda Mishler

Lemons into Lemonade

From the Cruse's friend, Nicole:

Hi Friends!

I Caught an article today about a family affected by Neuroblastoma and fund raising for pediatric cancer research. They did so through a collective effort of folks all across America doing "Lemonade Stands", donations raised have totalled $25 M in 4 years!! How about it friends and warriors?!! I am inspired to change pediatric cancer with our "change!"

Connor was pure sweetness, Joy, vivavacious, lively, inspiring, courageous, and Heroic! Pediatric Cancer is the Lemon! Ready to turn lemons into Lemonade and make a difference, ready to squeeze out childhood and pediatric cancer?!! Let's raise our lemonade glasses for pediatric cancer research in honor of Team Connor and make a Change through Team Connor! If you're interested in holding a lemonade stand, let's all do it this summer and see how much we can get in contributions to Team Connor (Remember, it is a 501 c3)! Be creative.

Message me at: NicoleinDallas1 (AIM) or on Facebook: Nicole Firebaugh Arenas or Email: nicolearenas@ymail.com You can easily send all the funds directly to Team Connor through online contributions, see their webpage at: http://www.facebook.com/l/;www.teamconnor.org - You can also send funds through paypal (link is lower on the front page of pray for Connor Cruse on facebook) and all funds are and will be collected and given directly to The Cruse's for the use of Team Connor.

team connor . org

Loving The Cruse Family Along with You,
Nicole

Update from Joy Cruse

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My heart overflows with gratitude and love for all of you who have faithfully prayed for my son over the last 50 months, and now continue to pray for my family as it is now our turn to heal. The outpouring of love and support at the visitation and service was incredible. Thank you for honoring my son's life that way. Your words of encouragement and stories of how Connor has touched your lives has brought us such comfort as we walk through these difficult days. We can not thank you enough.

Many of you requested that I continue my blog. As always, these updates help me to heal and help me to work through the understanding of what God is teaching me. I will continue to update weekly to share how God is carrying us through this dark valley and how he is redeeming this situation. That is what He does, isn't it? Bring good out of something bad. Bring water to the desert and bring joy to our sadness. Our eyes and hearts are open to what He is accomplishing in our lives.

"We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Here's a letter I wrote to Connor for the service. One paragraph was read during the service, but here is the letter in its entirety.


Dear Connor, My valiant warrior,

I know as a mother, I am supposed to be the one who teaches her children; who imparts wisdom and insight for life. How is it then, that you were the one who taught me? You taught me how to enjoy life, with your radiant smile, your silly ways and your happy dance. You were always looking for an adventure, whether it was dodge ball in the back yard with your family, or sword-fighting with your friends in our fort or races in the halls of the hospital. Nothing could contain your love of life.

You taught me how to love. No one could pass by you without a hug from ConCon. You had a love that was irrepressible, it overflowed and was passed out to others as easily as you breathed. It was as if you knew you only had a short time with us, so you had to send out all your love in just 8 ½ years. Oh, how you made us feel special.

You taught me how to fight valiantly. How many times have I watched you suffer bravely through pain that would have caused most people to quit? How many times were you knocked down, only to rise again stronger the next time? You were so tenacious, never giving up. Even in the end, your body gave up before your fighting spirit did. You had the heart of a lion. You amazed the doctors from Dallas, to Boston, New York, Houston and even Guatemala. How many times was your prognosis not good, yet you continued your battle without a falter in your step. What a brave warrior you were. How could I not fight so hard for you, when your spirit was so strong?

You taught me how to dance in the rain. Although half of your life was spent battling this disease cancer, you never let it stop you from enjoying life. You never made room for complaining. You would be healing from surgery or recovering from chemotherapy and you would still show up at baseball practice. You wanted to experience it all. Nothing stopped you from absorbing all the joy possible. Even your last week with us, you went to Gatti town, the movie Ice Age, the bookstore, Lego store, the mall and your favorite restaurants. Live, enjoy, cherish! was your motto!

You taught me about faith and loving your Heavenly Father. You never once questioned God’s goodness during this journey. You always expected healing to come. You knew your Father would never leave you, nor forsake you. You wanted to tell the world about Jesus. Your words of encouragement to others battling cancer were, “Have courage and believe in Jesus.” That says it all. And that's what you did. You walked your talk.

I know that we have all said that you lost your battle with cancer last Friday. But, as I think about it, I realize you actually won the battle. We often think it is a tragedy when one so young passes away, but maybe we are looking at this all wrong. I think your REWARD, my sweet son, for your faithful, brave battle is that you are now dancing on golden streets in Heaven, holding Jesus’ hand. You have shed the pain and struggles that accompany a life on this earth and you are now rejoicing with the angels and feeling love like you’ve never known. How can that be any kind of battle lost?

Well done, my good and faithful son. We love you and will miss you. Enjoy your well-earned reward!

Always believing,
Joy

Hickman Family Reunion-Last Day

Finally, time to post about the last day of the Family Reunion.

We had such a wonderful time getting to just hang with B's family! It was special!
I had hoped to see lots of wild animals while we were there, but it just didn't happen. However, the last day we saw one!

B & me with Nana & Grandpa about to leave

Finally, "wild" (not really) animals. There was an alpaca
farm down the street from the place we stayed.

We also passed this sign each day as we left the resort.
As Aggies, we don't agree that they are "trouble free cattle."

Finally, a real "wild" animal, a deer!

However, it seems to have been domesticated
since it is laying on the front porch of this house.

So, not many wild animals on this trip to Colorado. However, we had a wonderful time!

Another Nate Update

Wes provided this latest update on Nate below.

"Thank you God! Thank you prayer warriors! Nate has had a much better day. After radiation today, he did have two long naps and still gets worn out easy, but when he has been awake he has been very playful and has been laughing and smiling and telling jokes. He seems to feel much better. I know we still have a long road, but at least today we got to see the old Nate again. Keep praying, do not lose heart, God is good and He is listening. Cry out to HIM for miracles, cry out to HIM with all of your hopes, fears, and anxieties. HE will deliver us from everything that harms us. Take comfort in Psalm 18:1-36 READ IT ALL and share it with others who need encouragement. It is so encouraging to know that my God listens to our cries. May you feel close to your LORD at this moment, may you take peace in HIS love for you. Thank you again for praying for my little Nate."