Today is one of those days. My manager should be here in about an hour or so to pick up my car. I know, I can't drive. So, who cares? I do!!! Looking out back and seeing a car in the driveway provides a drop or two of hope that life exists outside of this house. Though Texas law says that I'm not allowed to drive, there was always that idea that if there was an emergency, I was covered. Or, if I just had an urge to drive, I could at least drive around the block or something. I've never done that, but it was the fact that an option/freedom/independence seemed to exist. That is being removed today.
So, I have shed a bunch of tears last night & this morning. B keeps encouraging me that this is just a tangible representation of the job. I like the tangible, thus my overall struggle with "faith in things unseen." Mom keeps encouraging me that "if the mountain was smooth, we couldn't climb it." I've never had an urge to mountain climb & I wasn't really even a fan of the Rock Wall thing I climbed years ago. Does that allow me to continue to pout?
It just makes it so real that I can't go to work each day and that it's going to be a while before that can happen. If Texas law didn't require six months seizure free, I would try to be out in the field working today, despite continuing to have seizures every day. However, my job requires driving and so going back to work isn't an option right now.
I know it's cheesy, but I had to take pictures of the car before he gets here to take it. B took it yesterday to get it cleaned up and pretty!! He did a good job of making it shine!!
While I was outside, my sweet little Hank wanted to pose for some pics. So, here is something to smile about now that I've been discouraging.
Isn't he a cutie?!!
I just opened up to this and had to share:
2 Corinthians 4:1, 5-12, 15-18
Treasures in Jars of Clay
1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen (emphasis mine), but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary (emphasis mine), but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 5:1,5,7,9-21
Our Heavenly Dwelling
1Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 5Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
7We live by faith, not by sight. 9So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.
The Ministry of Reconciliation
11Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. 12We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. 13If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
16So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.