And He said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

#HealingForHaylie-Post 60

Haylie update- Sept 24

Well, today hasn’t gone exactly as planned, but I’m so thankful for our many blessings. We came into the hospital again today for another round of Erwinaze. It’s the one Haylie hates, and the child life specialist suggested she make a paper chain with all the shots she has remaining and that way she can cut them off as a countdown. We got our labs back, expecting them to be better than on Friday, but instead, they went down quite a bit. Her hemoglobin was at 6.9 and her ANC was at 20. 😬. That explains why she felt so bad last night. I thought she had just overdone it at the car wash. She is a trooper for sure. 

She is getting a blood transfusion right now. It has changed our plans but I’m so thankful for friends. She needed 2 units of blood so it takes about 4 hours. I was able to cancel Brennen’s orthodontist appointment so he didn’t have to ride his scooter there, especially since he couldn’t remember how to get there. 😂. I am so thankful for Jamie King, who picked him up from school again. You are such a blessing to our family.

I have learned so much about blood lately. I have talked to numerous doctors and had a meeting with the lady in charge of blood here at Children's today. I have to say the more I have learned, the more frustrated I am. I’ve learned that is never a good idea to go grocery shopping when you are super hungry, and it’s never good to publicly vent on Facebook when you are angry. I’ve done all I can for today, so I’ve just given the problem to God. He is much more knowledgeable and capable than me.

I’m just very thankful for the blood donors that donated the 2 units of blood that Haylie has received today. One of them was B- and one was O- Haylie and I prayed over the blood and that is all we can do today. God has got the rest.
#HealingForHaylie





Monday, September 24, 2018

#HealingForHaylie-Post 59

Haylie Update - Sept 24

It’s been a good weekend. I didn’t get a post out on Friday from her last hospital visit. Her levels dropped slightly, her hemoglobin was still above 8 at 8.1 so she did not receive a blood transfusion. Doctors told me to probably expect one today. We are headed back to the hospital again today and Wed for the last 4 irwinaze (chemo) shots this round. These are the worse and most painful for her. She has done well, but it really catches up with her.




Brennen’s 4 baseball games were a total rainout this weekend, so it actually gave us a chance to stay home and try and catch our breath. My house has been a complete disaster lately. I was able to get some cleaning done. We were also able to go to the glow girls car wash yesterday. They raised $454 for a donation to Childrens hospital in honor of Haylie. It was so good to see friends and Haylie is excited that she gets to help give a little back to the hospital helping her.

I have to be honest and ask for prayer for time management and organization for me. I have felt completely overwhelmed the last 2 weeks trying to get everything done. I have been waking up in the middle of the night or early each morning just thinking of the things I need to get done...one of the biggest on my mind is trying to get out thank you notes. We have been so unbelievably blessed by so many who have sent get well cards, gift cards, care packages and made us meals when we first came home from the hospital. The list is amazing. I have felt so much guilt in trying to get thank you cards out to everyone and I have to tell you that I just need to ask for grace. I want to thank everyone and not seem ungrateful, but honestly it may take me a year or 2 to get them out. Between trying to deal with our insurance paperwork, hospital visits, bills, cleaning the house, all the homebound schoolwork, Haylie needing me every 2 mins, practices, games, meals etc I am feeling completely overwhelmed. I plan on knocking things out each day, but it seems that every time I sit down to work on something, Haylie needs me again. I’ve felt like I haven’t accomplished anything in weeks. So in order to try and get some sleep at night I am offering a huge thank you to all the people that have helped us and sent care packages snd donations. Thank you, thank you, thank you! We really do appreciate everything and each one of you. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to personally thank each one of you yet. I’m still working on it.

This is just one more hurdle, but we will get through this as well. This is homecoming week in our town and it’s spirit dress up days. Y’all, it’s space day and I remembered at 10:30 last night. Brennen insisted on wearing an old Star Wars shirt that is too small to school today. If you see him, just smile and wave. That sweet boy...he has an orthodontist appointment today after school and I am hoping to make it home from the hospital in time to get him there. I told him about it on the way to school this morning and he told me he could just ride his scooter there, if he could just figure out how to get there. 😜😬🤦🏽‍♀️. I’m thankful that he has been extremely flexible with everything through all of this. I know there are a million other moms juggling 18 things right now too. So today, I think we need to just offer each other grace. Life isn’t perfect, it never will be, and I just can’t even pretend to keep up with the perfect mom. A friend posted the funniest meme the other day and when I think I’m totally failing at being a good mom, I compare myself to that animal and realize I’m at least better than that. 😜

Hang in there moms, we can do this!
#HealingForHaylie

Friday, September 21, 2018

#HealingForHaylie-Post 58

Haylie Update - Sept 19
Today is a much better day. A friend shared a Bible verse this morning and I was so encouraged. “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23.

Today IS a new day and God IS faithful.

We had a pretty rough day Saturday, Sunday and Monday. We had to come back to the hospital for more chemo shots on Monday and her levels had fallen again, so she required another 2 units of platelets. Her hemoglobin was at 8.3 so they decided to hold off on another blood transfusion. They only transfuse kids if they are below 8.0 so she was right on the line. She has had terrible headaches and stomachaches so we are working to try and find the problem and relive the pain somewhat.

Today we had to come back to the hospital for more chemo shots and a possible blood transfusion. Thankfully, her levels are better today so she won’t need a transfusion. Her hemoglobin is at 8.6 so it went up slightly. It’s still pretty low but she is hanging in there. She is thrilled because they didn’t have to access her port today. Yay! She already has had blood drawn and 2 shots, so no port access is good. There is a good chance she might need a transfusion on Friday, but we are hopeful her levels will keep rising. Her ANC is really low again, at 90, so we can’t go out or be around people until her levels come back up. Looks like we will be homebound for a bit so we will have a chance to catch up on movies and maybe I can get the house clean. 😜

I’m still learning a lot about blood transfusions and blood types and what she can have. That’s another story for another time but God is faithful and everything is going to be ok. Thank you to everyone who has donated blood and platelets. You certainly make a huge difference in our life and the lives of many other kids who desperately need them.

Thanks to everyone for the continued prayers.
#HealingForHaylie

Getting her platelet transfusion. Thank you to everyone that donated blood and platelets. It is certainly a blessing to our family.


Getting 2 shots at once.

 

Sunday, September 16, 2018

#HealingForHaylie-Post 57

Haylie update - Sept 14

I have to be honest, today was really rough. I’ve held off writing this post until my emotions settled down some so I could think more clearly. I have to say, I have learned several important lessons today that can apply to a lot of other areas in my life and I’m hoping you can apply them to yours as well.

First - update on Haylie. She had a spinal tap with a chemo injection scheduled for 8:15am. Her levels have started dropping significantly and unfortunately, she did not make the blood count levels required for the spinal tap first thing this morning. She required a platelet transfusion before they would be able to begin. The blood and platelet supply is very low right now, so they did not have any B- platelets available. She had a transfusion of A- which was fine. I had been told by doctors that platelets that were not an exact match were fine because they take all the proteins out so your body does not react. I was told that Haylie could only have B- blood transfusions because of the many transfusions she would require due to her leukemia. Doctors told me she could not receive O-(the universal donor) except in an emergency, because her body would build antibodies to the blood. I know this because I asked several times since I am also O- and wanted to donate for her. Ok, flash back to today. Haylie’s hemoglobin was at 6.8 so she also required a blood transfusion on top of the platelet transfusion. I asked 2 separate nurses if they had B- blood available for her. Both assured me yes.

After Haylie woke up in recovery and was super hungry (it was after 1:00 at this time because we had to wait so long for the platelets to arrive for her first transfusion before the spinal tap. She hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since 8:30 the night before so I ran to the vending machine to get a bag of chips for her. When I returned I was shocked to see O- blood hooked up getting ready for the transfusion. I stopped the nurse and said, you said she was getting B-! The nurse said yes again, and I showed her that it was O- not B- She told me it was the same thing. I was a little shocked after having been told only B- could be used for her. The doctor was called back and she assured me it was fine and they didn’t want to waste the O- blood. This is a tough spot to be in as a parent. After being told nothing but B- would work for her, to being told it was fine and we are going to transfuse it now was a little scary. I am the only voice for my child when at the hospital and it’s my job as a mom to make sure her best interests are at hand. I am learning so much about cancer and blood but there is still so much that I don’t know. We depend on the doctors and nurses for the correct information and when we are told conflicting information it worries me as a parent. I realize sometimes medical teams can make mistakes too or information can be miscommunicated. I have to say the hospital has been great and our doctor is really awesome. We had up to 4 doctors (intern, resident, attending, fellow) and many nurses each day so I can see where information can be misunderstood when talking to that many different people with different opinions each day in the hospital.

First thing I learned...I understand that doctors and nurses are human and can make mistakes. I realize I am human and have made many mistakes, and I need to offer others grace, because I know others have offered me grace on my mistakes.

Second thing I learned was...always do your research. We so often hear someone say something and then take it as complete fact and truth. I see this in politics all the time. I also see this often in religion. God’s word should be able to always pass the Bible test. If you hear something from an individual, it should be backed up by the word of God. We need to read the Bible and find out for ourselves. We need to research facts from a reliable source before pass it off as truth. I don’t think any news media stations fully report facts anymore. They are so concerned about being the first to get a story out or lean it towards their view that they don’t check to see if its actually true.

Ok, sorry, I had a big tangent there. Needless to say, I will be doing a lot more research on blood transfusions. I thought maybe I heard the doctors wrong, but Michael said no, he also heard the doctors tell us only B- blood while we were in the hospital. I’m glad I’m not crazy, but at the same time I feel like I have a lot of unanswered questions now.

The biggest thing I learned today was about the big blood shortage in DFW now. The blood supply was up after all the big summer blood drives, but now they are in deficit again. More and more people require transfusions each day and the blood supply must be replenished. Haylie’s doctor said that twice this week there were NO platelets available...at all...for sick kids who badly needed them.
There are lots and lots of kids besides Haylie that depend on transfusions to save their life. If you can donate, please do the next time you get a chance. It doesn’t matter what your blood type is, because all types are desperately needed. Your donation really can help save a life.
Thank you all!
#HealingForHaylie
Getting blood drawn for labs

Platelets finally arrived for the transfusion

Getting ready for the spinal tap

Sweet girl. In the recovery room.

She woke up and was ready to eat. She wanted Chicken Express.

Getting blood

Worn out. Still had 2 more hours to go on her transfusion.

Monday, September 10, 2018

#HealingForHaylie-Post 56

Haylie Update - Sept 9
I haven’t given an update in about a week. Haylie had another spinal tap on Thursday with another infusion of chemo. She has done remarkably well these past few weeks, but the chemo is catching up to her again and she started to get very nauseous, tired and feeling just yucky the last few days. She has really missed her friends and we were so happy to have 2 good friends visit her on Thursday.
I’ve been debating about whether to post this or not. I’ve always tried to post pictures of Haylie smiling and be positive, but the truth is, there are some really tough days. Because September is national childhood cancer awareness month, I thought I would share some pictures of the tough stuff too. There are so many kids that are suffering from cancer and many more will be diagnosed each year. I pray that we can find a cure so that no child and no family will have to go through this battle. Sadly, only 4% of cancer funding goes to childhood cancer research. I believe our kids are worth a lot more than 4%. Last year, I had no idea September was childhood cancer awareness month and now we are becoming experts on things I never dreamed about.
It is difficult to watch your child have to endure so much. It was super tough to watch her long, beautiful hair fall out and I couldn’t do anything about it. I never thought I would know so much about blood and transfusions. I never thought I would need to be trained on how to give my own child chemo shots at home. I never thought I would know how to read blood test results and know the names of all the chemo drugs she has to take and their awful side effects. It’s not fun to have to hold her hand while she throws up for the 5th time that day. It’s sad to watch her struggle to walk and not even have the strength to climb the stairs to her bedroom. It’s hard to tell her she won’t be able to get in lake water for another 3 years for risk of infection. It was difficult to cancel our cruise and all of our vacation plans and instead spend the summer in the hospital. It’s hard to miss out on normal life while she has to be home bound because she isn’t well enough to attend public school. I ask that you pray for the many many children and families that are all going through this battle right now.
Through this battle, I’ve always told Haylie to find something positive, so I also want to share some encouragement. I also never knew how strong Haylie could be. I never knew how amazing people around us would be and how they would reach out and offer to help. We have been blessed by so many prayers and so much support. People we don’t even know have sent gifts and told us they pray for Haylie daily. We are forever grateful for all the love and support people have showed to us.
It’s been tough but I know there are many people out there that have it much worse than we do. We still have so much to be thankful for. God continues to go before us and is our strength. There is much more to Haylie’s story that is yet to be written. He can make beauty from the ashes.

Picture where her hair started falling out in big chunks.

Taking it like a champ

Love this girl.

The port access they insert in her chest each week.

Just finished another spinal tap

Giving herself heparin after an infusion

Getting ready for another spinal tap

Getting a shot of chemo at home.

Just got out of surgery to get her port placed.