Connor

Saturday, June 13

Tait and I have had a good week with Connor. Connor has been coughing up a lot of phlegm so his wheezing is much better. Breathing a little easier too. He still has the swelling. He continues to have the burning/itching sensation on the tumor - side effects of the medicine, which is a sign it is working. Praise God for that. We continue to wait for the shrinking.

Thanks everyone for all your prayers. We have been covered in God's peace and grace all week. I know that all of you have been faithful prayer warriors for Connor, so I want to ask for a concentrated effort on Sunday and Monday. I know that some of you have already done this. Deb Blevons with Northwestern Mutual has asked several of you to pray on an hourly schedule on Sunday, Debby Parker has asked some to pray at 7am everyday and Nicole Arenas has set up a prayer meeting for Connor every other week. WE are blessed by all your prayers.

I found this story of King Hezekiah in II Chronicles 20. It is a great example of corporate prayer. When the King found out a huge enemy was coming against him, he asked all the people to fast and pray in order to defeat the enemy. The King said, "We have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon the Lord."

The prophet Jehaziel then spoke the words of the Lord. "You will not need to fight this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you. Do not fear or be dismayed." He told them to stand still and sing His praises. (That was his strategy for fighting the enemy.) The King appointed those who should sing to the Lord and those who should praise His beauty and holiness. They went out before the army saying " Praise the Lord, for his mercy endures forever." The Lord delivered them from their enemy.

This week, please pray for Connor and sing God's praises. Thank Him for His mercy, grace, provision, strength and peace that He has provided us during this trial. Like King Hezekiah and the people of Israel witnessed, may God also deliver Connor from his enemy, cancer.

Thanks for your combined efforts in prayer this week.

Always believing,

Joy

Wedding

About a month ago, my sweet friend, S, got married. Isn't she a precious bride? I think she was excited to get married.

First dance with her new hubby!

Yep, there was a mechanical bull to ride at her reception.

This is her daughter,
Miss M (you've seen her in other posts) and her cousin.

The best part of the night. B & Miss M have so much fun together. You might remember when she came over and B taught her how to find the planets, stars, etc. He even gave her his telescope from childhood that night. It's been an instant love connection ever since.

So, Miss M got to dance the night away with my hubby! Aren't they precious?

One shot with the beautiful bride!!

It was nice to get out of the house and do something that seemed social. The grocery store seems like my social hour of the week since I'm not allowed to drive yet. So, this was a fun evening. I didn't have any seizures that day and I even got to dance with my cute hubby!!

Connor update

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 8:34 PM CDT
We made it safely back on the airplane Monday. Treatments have started again. Connor is hanging tough.

We are battling a couple new symptoms now, so we want to add them to our prayer requests. The tumor has been pressing on Connor´s diaghram for awhile now and it is making his oxygen levels a little lower than normal beacause his lungs are compressed. We have put him on oxygen at night - just a low amount blowing on his face. WE were concerned about how we would get that here, but God is good. No need to worry. Our new friend, Dominique, has contacts all over this town. She hooked us up with the fire dept on a temporary basis and they deliver oxygen to our room every day for free until we can get something permanent situated (most likely tomorrow). Can you believe it? In fact, Sebastian, the fireman (trained in Dallas) who delivers the oxygen just brought Connor his oxygen for tonight. PLEASE PRAY FOR HIS OXYGEN LEVELS TO RISE.

Also, Connor had a cold last week and because he lays down all the time, he's wheezing now. He can´t cough it all up. Dominique set us up an appt with a local doctor today. He was amazing. He brought us into his office as soon as we arrived. He told us it was a blessing to him to be able to help us. He gave us a prescription for a nebulizer and albuterol to get rid of the wheezing. PLEASE PRAY FOR THE WHEEZING TO GO AWAY. We told him we need to be able to check his blood counts regularly in case he needs another blood transfusion. He said someone could come to our hotel to draw Connor´s blood. Wow! That´s service. He prayed for Connor in his office and told us that he believed in miracles - (because that is what it is going to take). He said he is honored to be on our team to help Connor and the captain of the team is Jesus. Tait and I were blown away.

The compression of the tumor is causing his legs to retain water a little bit. What this means is that we are in a race against time. Dr. Rodriguez is seeing signs that the medicine is starting to work. The composition of the outside of the tumor sticking out is getting soft. If the outside starts to change, that means it is starting to work on the inside. We need this medicine to start shrinking the tumor as soon as possible. Our race is can we keep Connor well (manage all these symptoms) long enough for the medicine to wage its war on the cancer and shrink the tumors, which will start eliminating these symptoms one by one. He is still having back pain when he walks and sits up. It is excruciating for Tait and I to watch him in this kind of pain. The tumors shrinking will relieve this pain, also. We are still believing that God will provide for Connor what he needs in His perfect timing (NOW, ACCORDING TO ME).

I´m claiming the verse Psalm 118:17 for Connor. "I will not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord." Please pray this verse over Connor as you faithfully pray for him.

I also wanted to thank everyone who participated in the III Forks Golf Classic and Auction/Dinner benefiting TeamConnor. It was a wonderful event and we so appreciated everyone´s support. The memories from your support Sunday night have helped carry us this week.

Always believing,
Joy Cruse

Connor

We just received this today, but it is an update from Sunday:

We just got home from the hospital. Connor is resting comfortably and he's going to see the movie "Up" tonight. He's been waiting to see it for awhile and we promised him he could see it while we're here.

The albumin level didn't come up very much. I guess the cancer is just eating it up like candy. The lasixs did help him urinate some, but not as much as expected. His abdomen didn't come down much. We did a sonogram to see if they could drain the liquid with a needle and it showed that most of the liquid is gone now. His extended abdomen is pretty much all tumor now. Heading back to Guatemala on Monday to see if we can get this thing to shrink. PLEASE KEEP PRAYING FOR A RED SEA MIRACLE. Thanks for your prayers.

Here's a song that my friend, Heather Hawkins, sent me. I'm not sure who the singer is.


I'm down on my knees again tonight,
I'm hopin' this prayer will turn out right.
See, there is a boy that needs Your help.
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired,
I'm sure You can understand.
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand,
And she tries
Not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes.

Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place some how.
See, he's not just anyone, he's my son.

Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep,
I dream of the boy he'd like to be.
I try to be strong and see him through,
But God, who he needs right now is You.
Let him grow old,
Live life without this fear.
What would I be
Living without him here?
He's so tired,
And he's scared
Let him know that You're there.

Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place some how.
See, he's not just anyone, he's my son.

Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him,
He's my son.

Always Believing,
Joy Cruse

Prayer Request

Hello Mighty Prayer Warriors!

This is a request from a college friend about her cousin:

Loved ones,

I ask for you to be on your knees in prayer for a beloved family member, Colette. She is a young wife and a stay-at-home mom with three kids under the age of five (Daniel, Caleb, and Anna). She is married to my cousin, Michael.

Below are her words describing her diagnosis in May...

"Something is wrong with me and the doctors are struggling to diagnosis it...I'm numb on the left side and dizzy with headaches...when I quit nursing (which might be soon at this rate), I'll have another MRI of my brain...this time with contrast...ugh....not fun at all!"

Updated Saturday, June 6:

"Well, I'm so tired of looking for good doctors and going to visits, etc.

All that they know so far is that I have a hole in my heart and have most likely had a stroke when pregnant.

The numbness seems to be getting a little better. I have some others things: an elevated rheumatoid number, an enlarged gland in my brain, and brain lesions...so, I still have lots more doctor visits to come."

May the Lord richly bless you for your prayers on behalf of Colette as she eagerly desires to be covered in prayer. If you can, please pass this prayer request along to the prayer warriors in your life. I will try to update as much as I can. It is a mighty God we serve.

Love to you all,

Elizabeth

Concerts by the Lake

Unfortunately, at this point in the month of May, the seizures had come back. No idea why. I had a few days at the beginning of May with relief and then they came back full speed ahead. The nice thing is that I was in a pattern of a few days without any seizures before they picked back up; therefore, I got some energy. However, when they started back up, I had anywhere from 1-11/day. So, no way of knowing what each day would look like.

Our town has a summer Concert series down by the lake. We take the boys out there and they seem to have a good time! It's nice for me because it allows me to get out of the house one other time in the week other than my grocery store trip and church.

Hank enjoying the music.

Rudder, scared as always, but he seems to enjoy the concert.

Us and the boys!!

First Week of May

We had fun the first week of May because we were able to say that I had gone "all of May without a seizure." ha ha! It was nice to have a break. I went about four days.

On the first, B's Field Director at work had everyone over to his house for dinner.

That's my hubby back there getting ready for a mean game of Ping-Pong!!

That night was a good test of my strength to say no to foods that I love, as they had PF Chang's catered in...I took a chicken breast with me to eat....yummy, huh?

This is one of my college roomies and her hubby! They came over that same weekend and we all got to hang for a bit!! So fun!

May 3rd was Congressman Hall's 86th birthday! So, we (B) made him a birthday card (it was a paper airplane) and we went over to his house to hug on him. This is his first birthday in many, many years without his precious Mary Ellen. So, we tried to give him some extra snuggles. He's such a sweetheart and has done so much for our country!!!

Easter

Clearly I'm behind on the updates. So, I'm going to try to back track and catch everyone up on the happenings around here.

April was spent trying to begin figuring out this nutritional approach they have me taking to treat the seizures. I very quickly titrated off of one of the medications and seemed to do okay. So, we were well convinced that this "diet" was working.

This is Easter morning. A pic with me and Miss H!! Remember Miss H? She is my sweet friend that got to cut my first pony tail before we went to the hospital for surgery. This was taken at church, Easter morning!

A pic of my sweet hubby and me on Easter.
(Hank is trying to sneak in at the bottom of the pic).

We went to my uncle's house for the day! I didn't have any seizures this day and so there was great relief and some extra energy. Instead of getting to enjoy the amazing spread that usually comes with our family get-togethers, I had to bring my own food. So, I tried to stay away from the food table so that I wasn't tempted!! It was fun watching all of the kids hunt for eggs.

It seems like it wasn't too long ago that all of the parents in these pictures and me were the ones hunting for eggs.

Again, this day was a blessing. First, because it was a day to celebrate that Jesus rose from the dead and conquered death to save us from all of our sins. WOW!!! It was also nice to not have any seizures!!

Keep checking back as I'm going to try to catch up on the blog and get more updates posted.

Connor is home

UPDATE:
I'm sending out a quick update because we need some prayers. After we got home yesterday, events unfolded and we realized that Connor's albumin was low and he was leaking fluid into the abdominal area. (If you remember, this was what we suspected was wrong when we went to the ER 2 1/2 weeks ago.) He's currently at Plano Presbyterian. He received some albumin last night and that will hopefully fix that problem. He's receiving some blood. His red count is low. After that, he will get some lasiks (diuretic) to help him urinate all this fluid out of him. This should decrease the size of his belly, which should then relieve the pain in his back. WE are praying and believing that this will be the answer to our prayers that Connor would be able to sit up and walk without back pain. PLEASE PRAY FAITHFULLY FOR THIS.

Also, his red blood count and platelets have lowered over the last two weeks. This is concerning, but I have to believe that it is because of his sluggish bone marrow. He currently has an infection (yet to be determined) and that has caused his white count to be very high to fight the infection. After his bone marrow transplants, his bone marrow is sluggish and when it really works hard to produce one line of cells, the other two cell lines drop. This happened when he was having the bleeding ulcer. His bone marrow was creating 3X the normal amount of baby red blood cells to compensate for his low red blood count. At the time, his platelets and white counts were decreasing steadily. PLEASE PRAY THAT IS THE CASE THIS TIME - THAT AS SOON AS THE INFECTION IS CLEARED, HIS COUNTS WILL NORMALIZE.

It is so hard at times like these to remain steadfast in our beliefs. Satan wants us to believe that he is winning, but I have to believe that God will redeem this situation. He is simply answering our prayers to make his abdominal area smaller and his back pain to go away. He will rid Connor of this infection and then his counts will stabilize. I am thankful the He will answer our prayers, like this devotional from Sarah Young says:

"When you bring Me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before Me. Speak to Me candidly; pour out your heart. Then thank Me for the answers that I have set into motion long before you can discern results. When your requests come to mind again continue to thank Me for the answers that are on the way. If you keep on stating your concerns to Me, you will live in a state of tension. When you thank Me for how I am answering your prayers, your mind-set becomes much more positive. Thankful prayers keep your focus on My Presence and My promises."

Please pray...
1. The albumin and lasiks will decrease the fluid retention and alleviate the pain in Connor's back.
2. The antibiotics will kill the infection
3. His blood counts will stabilize when the infections is gone
4. That he will be able to come home tonight.

Thank you for answering our prayers, Heavenly Father.

Always Believing,
Joy Cruse
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"Connor is home from Guatamala this weekend and we had to admit him to Plano Presby for blood and water retention. Please pray for him to have a great weekend. He should get out later this morning and hopefully to see "up". He will fly back on Monday and will be gone a month."

Connor Progress

Praise the Lord!! We received this info today!!!

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We are in the middle of the second week of treatment. Everything is still going smoothly. It is unbelievable how easily everything has gone here. I know that God has gone before us to pave the way. This gives me more assurance we are in the right place.

With the help of our new friends, Marg and Dominique, we have found a more permanent place to stay here in the hotel district. It is a hotel with apartments and is much better suited for a long stay; and much cheaper. We have been given the names of many contacts here, so that we now have lots of help when we need it. Thanks to Ron and Margie Caruthers for helping me run errands and go grocery shopping. Thanks to our Sunday School class for donating a lot of airmiles to us. Also, thanks to Jim and Kristen Brull for donating and organizing the airline tickets. Because of their kindness, Connor and I have airline tickets here for our travels through fourth of July weekend and Carson and MacKenzie will be able to visit us in June. Many friends and family have offered to come stay with us, so we will have company through the end of July. Also, our school, Prestonwood Christian Academy and Legacy Christian Academy have rasied money for Connor by collecting Coins for Connor. It is quite a substantial amount. Thanks for putting it together, Kristen Brull and Elizabeth Collins. Also, thanks for starting the first one at your school in Houston, Cody Reeter. We were also presented by the PCA 1st and 2nd grade classes a gift certificate tree with tons of certificates to restaurants. This should feed my family back home for quite awhile. We can never thank you all enough. We so appreciate the love and care from all of you. We are humbled by this and the prayers of so many. Because of you, we know that we are not fighting this battle alone.

Connor continues to hold steady. He's not sleeping during the day anymore and he only needs pain medication twice a day (it was three times a day), so we are seeing improvements there. The tumor (bump) that is sticking out of his abdomen is a 1/2 inch smaller. Most patients don't see any improvements until after two weeks, so we are praising God for these little improvements. The abdominal area is the same, and that is what is putting pressure on his back and causing him discomfort. OUR PRAYER REQUEST WOULD BE FOR THE ABDOMINAL AREA TO SHRINK TO ALLEVIATE HIS DISCOMFORT AND BACK PAIN. He has some knots in his back, so we are going to try to get him a massage to see if that will help him. I have been massaging his back and that has helped with the pain momentarily. WE ARE PRAYING THAT HE WILL FEEL BETTER FOR OUR FLIGHT HOME THIS WEEKEND. He is so looking forward to coming home. PLEASE PRAY THAT HIS APPETITE CONTINUES TO IMPROVE. It is better, but he has a long way to go. He's getting so thin. Thank you so much for your prayers. They are greatly needed.

We pray that God will bless you and your families for being such a blessing to us. I believe that God will pour out blessings to those who help and pray for others. For example, the woman who manages the hotel told me this story this morning. Last week, she decided to give our family a great deal on renting an apartment here because she felt so moved by our story. Her co-worker told her that the money she is losing in this transaction doesn't matter, that God would bless her decision to help us. Last week, the hotel was 1/2 full. The day we checked in, they became fully occupied. They truly believe God has blessed them for helping us. We pray for those same blessings on your families.

"Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe him and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your HEALING will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer, you will cry for help and he will say "Here I am." Isaiah 58: 6-9

Always believing,
Joy

Praises to the Lord for Connor!!!

I wanted to update everyone on our progress with the new treatment and new doctor. The treatment is immunotherapy and he takes it orally and by feeding tube.

We are receiving daily confirmations that this is where we are supposed to be. First of all, everything is going smoothly (except for Tait having to do the laundry at home!).

The first day we arrived we met several of the patients. When we went in to meet the doctor, all the patients in the waiting room stood in a circle and prayed for Connor. The doctor is praying for Connor. What a place of faith. It is exactly where we need to be.

How refreshing compared to words of imminent disaster that I normally hear from doctors. The doctor is not making big promises. He just says to pray that God will make this work. I told him we are and thousands of others are, too.

The second day, a woman got the great news that she was now free of breast cancer. As she made her announcement, the patients gathered around her and bowed their heads - giving thanks to the One who deserves the credit for healing her.

We felt like God was letting us be witness to a miracle. I cried along with the rest of the room, though I didn't even know her. That experience was another confirmation.

After Connor finished his first treatment on Tuesday, he walked out of the doctor's office into the waiting room to the noise of applause and cheers. All the patients were cheering for him (and they do it everyday now). What beautiful noise to my ears, though Connor isn't sure if he likes it.

After Connor's first dose, we noticed small changes. Lately, he has been moaning and very restless in his sleep. He normally can't get comfortable for very long. So the first thing we noticed was that he slept peacefully. The last two nights, we have all slept so well. Connor has not been eating either. We force him to eat a few bites at night. Today he wanted lunch and he said he was hungry after we left the doctor's office. Lately, he's wanted to lay around and sleep most of the day.

He's also been more alert each day. He's awake most of the day now and he's reading, playing his Nintendo DS and watching movies. All are improvements, so we are thanking God for any little thing.

Thanks for all your prayers. We feel the presence of God here strongly, so we know He is answering your prayers. Please pray that Connor will be much more comfortable before we fly home next Friday.

"I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.". Psalm 16:8.

Always believing,
Joy

Our Hero

As I started to write this post, and then looked back at the title, I should clarify. Our heroes are the men & women who serve our country and sacrifice their lives to protect our freedom. So, let's stop and remember them first.
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Last night, B was our hero! If you have a weak stomach or get scared by "creepy, crawlies," don't continue to the pictures.

We always get the coupons and sales circulars from Mom from her Sunday paper. She was sitting out back last night on the phone. So, she asked us to come to the back door to get everything. Since she was going to be on the phone, she was just going to reach over the fence and hand it to us when we arrived.

She had been going in and out of the gate throughout the evening, taking trash out, etc. She asked my uncle to hold so she could reach over the gate and hand us the paper when she heard us pull up in the driveway. He stopped her (a God moment) and said he could get off the phone. So, they said their good-byes . She then remembered she wanted B to help her with something in the backyard. So, she asked him to come in rather than her coming to us (another God moment). As he approached the fence, I heard him say, "oh, a snake!" For a moment I thought he was kidding and then I saw him walk away from the fence. I assumed she had put a fake snake up or something like that until he asked for a shovel or something.

I walked up closer thinking it would be a small little garden snake or something. When I made it to her gate and saw it stretched all the way I across I went looking for my camera. B, on the other hand, went to town killing the thing (sorry, PETA)!

Back to the God Moments...had Mom just reached over the fence while on the phone, she probably would have missed it and been bitten. Had she not asked B to come in the backyard, she would have opened the fence herself and it could have jumped on her, scared her, caused a heart attack, etc.....

So, B beat it with a shovel for a little bit and then threw open the gate. Mom then brought him an ax.

This is him holding the head on the shovel and holding the body in place with the ax.
¹⁸He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. ¹⁹I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. ²⁰However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."
Luke 10:18-20

Talk about having your "head handed to you." This is the snake's head in the shovel. Yep, that's my hubby still in his dress clothes having just killed a snake. Crocodile Hunter and all those other nature guys that wear khaki and wilderness clothes have nothing on my hubby. It's all in a days work for him.

He has no head in these pictures, but his body was at least a yard long.

You can see by these pictures that he wasn't pleased at this point.

B called this pic "the death roll."
You can see his tongue hanging out.

On the way to the trash...are you cringing and shaking as much as I am?

¹³No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man. ¹⁴Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, ¹⁵that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.

John 3:13-15

^18...they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

¹⁹After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God.

Mark 16:18-19

After much research, we think it was a Rat or Chicken Snake. I think that's what they said they're called. Mom & B did the research. They are apparently very good climbers and go after bird eggs. Mom has created quite the bird sanctuary in her backyard. So, the likelihood of there being eggs in her backyard is high. They apparently aren't venomous, but they can bite like crazy and draw some nice blood. Yuck!!! I think we all shook and cringed & watched where we stepped the rest of the evening!!

B thinks he was trying to smile for the camera in this one.

OUR HERO!!

I know where I'm going...

As many of you know, my memory has been lacking considerably since all of this started with my health. There are days that B or Mom tell me things I've done, places I've been, people I know, but I can't remember those facts at all. It can be so frustrating as I was raised as to the importance of remembering details of people's lives. There are some days I've not known my own name, b-day, or phone #.

We watched the Indy 500 today and B kept asking me if I remembered going. His parents took us all there a few years ago. I know we were there because we have pictures in the house. However, I do not recall being there.

So, it can be frustrating to lose the memory. Amidst all of this, the one thing I've not forgotten is how amazing my Savior is...He has been my source of strength through lots of trying times and provided me with an amazing hubby, Mom, & friends to walk with me through this valley.

I received this in an e-mail today and thought it was perfect and wanted to share. I don't know the accuracy of the dates, but the point is clearly made...Enjoy!!

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Billy Graham is now 90 years old with Parkinson's disease. In January 2000, leaders in Charlotte, North Carolina, invited their favorite son, Billy Graham, to a luncheon in his honor.

Billy initially hesitated to accept the invitation because he struggles with Parkinson's disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, 'We don't expect a major address. Just come and let us honor you.' So he agreed.

After wonderful things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the rostrum, looked at the crowd, and said, 'I'm reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great physicist, who this month has been honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century. Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger.

When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it.
Then he looked in the seat beside him.
He still couldn't find it.

The conductor said, 'Dr Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.'

Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.'

Einstein looked at him and said, 'Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.''

Having said that Billy Graham continued, 'See the suit I'm wearing? It's a brand new suit. My wife, my children, and my grandchildren are telling me I've gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So, I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion.

You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I'll be buried. But when you hear I'm dead, I don't want you to immediately remember the suit I'm wearing.

I want you to remember this:
I not only know who I am ... I also know where I'm going.'

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Billy Graham has one up on me that he knows who he is, but I definitely know where I'm going!!

I tell you the truth, whoever hears My word and believes in Him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.

John 5:24

I tell you the truth, s(he) who believes has everlasting life.

John 6:47

Kris Allen-God of this City

Don't forget to stop the music on the right.

Another Connor Update

From his Mom:

Connor was experiencing pain in his back and his abdomen was pretty extended/bloated. We ended up at Children's Med Ctr last night. After bloodwork and a CT scan was done, we know the cause of his discomfort. His pancreas and liver enzymes are good, so we know that his organs are functioning well. Praise God! The CT scan showed that the tumor has grown and that is what is pushing out on his abdominal wall. That is giving him the discomfort. The blessing is that it is not pushing on any organs. Praise God - what a miracle (one of our specific prayer requests). The bad news is that the tumor is approaching some important blood vessels like the Vena Cava. PLEASE PRAY THAT GOD WILL CONTINUE TO PROTECT CONNOR'S BLOOD SUPPLY AND HIS ORGANS. ALSO, PRAY THAT GOD WOULD TAKE HIS PAIN AWAY, MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE.

We are headed to Dr. Rodriguez' clinic and will start treatment there on Monday. We are swinging for the fence. It's the ninth inning and we are putting in the pinch hitter, so to speak. There have been many miracles there and he is a Godly man, who gives all credit of the healing miracles to God. I like a man who gives credit where credit is due. WE feel a peace that this is where God is leading us. If we are in His Will, we know He will surround us with his love and He will not leave us.

Tait and I know that Connor's destiny will soon be revealed. No more waiting to see God's hand. No more God working behind the scenes. We will see His plans for Connor come to fruition soon. His healing is on the way - whether it is healing on earth or in Heaven, my son will not be suffering much longer. That being said, I still believe that He will be healed here on earth. I believe God has a special plan and purpose to be worked out through his life here on earth. What a story he will live to tell.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR OUR SAFETY IN OUR TRAVELS. PRAY FOR MY OTHER CHILDREN WHO WILL BE WITHOUT THEIR MOTHER FOR AWHILE. PRAY FOR CONNOR'S HEALING ON EARTH AND FOR GOD'S PURPOSE TO BE WORKED OUT THRU HIS LIFE.

We wanted to let you know that Sunday afternoon, we will be having an Open House, so to speak, for those of you who want to come by the house to give Connor a send off and pray with/for him. Stop by from 1:00-2:45, if you would like. WE would love to see you before we head to the airport.

"I have to believe" by Rita Springer

I have to believe
That He sees my darkness
I have to believe
He knows my pain
I have to lift up
My hands to worship
Worship His name

I have to declare
That He is my refuge
I have to deny
That I am alone
I have to lift up
My eyes to the mountain
It's where my help comes from

Oh yeah
He said that He's forever faithful
He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too

Oh, I have to stand tall
When the wind blows me over
I have to stand strong
When I'm weak and afraid
I have to grab hold
Ahold of the garments
The garments of praise

I know, I know, I know
Cause He said that He's forever faithful
And He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
If He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move your mountain, too

I have to sing praise
When the hour is midnight
He unlocks these chains
That bind up my soul
My sin and my shame
He has forgiven and made me whole

I have to believe
He's got everything under control
I have to believe
Lord, I believe
Help my unbelief
I have to believe in You
I have to believe

Always believing,
Joy Cruse

Nate & Dakota

From Nate's Mom:

May 20 at 9:44pm

Jackie provided this update for Nate today. Please continue your prayers for him.

"Nate is doing better and should be able to come home tomorrow. He will have a week off before starting his next round of chemo.

I also wanted to request prayers for the little boy Dakota who many have been praying for. He passed away last week and I request prayers for his family and all the doctors and nurses who have cared for him for 3 years. My heart is broken for his family, but I know God is in control and He will comfort them. Love in Christ, Jackie"

Life is tough around here...

I need to post some updates on what is going on here in the near future. I've just been so behind with the peaks & valleys in the way I feel.

In the meantime, here are some pics to show you how rough things are around our house:




Poor Hank might not survive living in the lap of luxury...Don't you feel sorry for him (all cuddled up in his big chair, with his pillow tucked under his arms)?

Spoiled Rotten...

Are you Mocking Me? Spare Me...

This is from April. That's how behind I am on posting about anything that has happened around our house. However, it was too funny not to share.

B was outside grilling or something and thought a bird came in...sure enough. It landed on our china cabinet.



Don't know if it was a Mockingbird or Sparrow....
Do any of you know?

So, we took one of our fake ficus' and used it to lure the little guy. Once he got on the tree, B carried it outside and he flew away!!! I'm sure America's Funniest Home Videos would have had fun watching us that night.
p.s. Yes, he did leave a few spots for us to clean up on the tile...

Connor Update

Urgent Wednesday Update:

Connor is retaining fluid in his stomach area…not sure of the cause. Please lift up a quick prayer that the doctors can determine the cause and find a way to eliminate the fluid. Also pray that they don’t insist on his being hospitalized. Pray for Joy’s strength and discernment as the doctors discuss possible causes, and pray her faith doesn’t waver due to fear of what they may tell her.

Tuesday evening update:
Last Friday was May 15th and Connor's 4th anniversary of fighting cancer. We are grateful to God that he is still here fighting! Celebrate with us and say a prayer of Thanksgiving for his life.

This week, Tait and I need to make a decision as to where we will go next for Connor's treatment. The choice has been narrowed down to two options... Dr. Rodriguez or Dr. Burzynski. All the other options are either not available right now or are not available for Connor period. We have to believe that is just God shutting the doors on those treatments. So, again, we come to you to ASK FOR YOUR PRAYERS FOR GUIDANCE. Connor has been very tired the last few days and he's been having some back pain????? We feel the need for urgency. I think the next step will be crucial.

The treatments in the past have proven to be like a little dog yapping at the heels of this cancer. It is annoying, but not really making any impact. It's time to "aim for the fence" as they say in baseball. We know that God can use any instrument/method to heal Connor. He can heal him right now. The reason we are placing so much importance on this decision is because we want to follow His direction, be under the umbrella of His will for Connor's life. Thanks for your continued prayers.

Also, thanks for your prayers for our testimony last weekend. It went very well. The families there were just wonderful. They were so receptive, welcoming and they had such a sweet spirit. They showered Connor with so many gifts. The boys thought it was Christmas in May! We are so grateful to Lake Pointe's Men's Ministry for giving us the opportunity to give our testimony. We felt so blessed. We are so glad we could share what God has done in our lives. In the midst of all that we have gone through over the last four years, we still stand firm and say that God has never left our side (even when we have problems hearing from Him). This song "Always" by Building 429 shares the same thoughts.

I was standing in the pouring rain one dark November night
Fighting off the bitter cold when she caught my eye
Her face was taut and her eyes were filled, and to my surprise
She pulled out a photograph and my heart just stopped inside
She said, “He would’ve been three today
I miss his smile, I miss his face”
What was I supposed to say, but

CHORUS
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always

He was living in a broken world, dreaming of a home
His heart was barely keeping pace when I found him all alone
Remembering the way he felt when his daddy said goodbye
Fighting just to keep the tears and the anger locked inside
He’s barely holding onto faith
But deliverance is on its way, cause

CHORUS
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always

Friend, I don’t know where you are and I don’t know where you’ve been
Maybe you’re fighting for your life or just about to throw the towel in
But if you’re crying out for mercy, if there’s no hope left at all
If you’ve given everything you’ve got and you’re still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on, cause

I believe always, always
Our savior never fails
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
Always, always, He will be with you always

Please continue to pray for Caden and Carson as they continue with their fight.

Always Believing,
Joy Cruse

These are pics that we took this weekend at the church when they gave their testimony:

Connor's Dad, Tait!!

Connor's Mom, Joy.

That's Connor in the middle!
Praying over Connor!!
Connor lovin' on one of the babies that came to pray over him!

Prayer for Connor

Come meet Connor and his parents this Saturday morning at 8am at Lake Pointe Church (Rockwall) in the Hospitality Center.

From Connor's Mom:

For the journal entry today, I am going to post a prayer for Connor that was written by my friend, Mary Kim Gray (another parent at our school, PCA). She so eloquently captures our needs. She is also referencing the great news about our friend, Cody Novak. After his surgery on Monday, he was pronounced "Cancer Free." Praise God!

We thank you for the great news about Cody. We are thankful for your deliverance for him. We ask and beseech you that you would provide the same supernatural deliverance to Connor. Thank you for increasing our faith and showing us again what you can do. We are frail, Lord, and need your continual reminders that you are an active, caring God who will go to any extreme to care for your children. We ask that you would bless Connor with a clean bill of health. We ask that you would intervene through the treatment and stop the cancer. We ask that you would continue to direct Joy and Tait as they look for treatment options. At the same time, we ask that Jesus Himself would touch Connor's body and restore him to perfect health on this earth. Please continue to protect his organs from the chemo--and his digestive system from the tumor. We ask once again for the tumor's total eradication.

Where Joy and Tait may be feeling frustration at not having an answer and knowing exactly what to do, we pray for you to give them supernatural peace. We pray for you to guide their encounters and their access to information. Please direct them, Lord, and let them know that you are leading them. Make this very clear to them, as you increase their faith in your provision of divine direction at exactly the right time. Give them quiet spirits and quiet moments in their busy days, so they can hear you speaking. Speak more loudly than usual, as they have a strong need for your guidance. Confirm their choices multiple times, so they will know that you are indeed leading them. Give them hope and strength in the midst of this battle that has been long and arduous. "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) Continue to uphold this precious family as they are strengthened by you.

I pray that the voice of the enemy would be silenced. I am sure that as Tait and Joy and Connor bring glory to you that Satan is determined to try to win some battles. I pray for resistance and enlightenment as to the devil's schemes. Silence his efforts to bring doubt--bind him from any work he is trying to do--and bring glory to yourself through the manner in which Tait, Joy, and Connor handle this trial. Please bring this trial to an end swiftly and let Connor live a long and fruitful life--always bringing glory to your name. Continue to give breath and life to his body on a day-by-day basis. Continue to call Connor in righteousness and help him to open blind eyes and free captives from their prisons as a result of his testimony of your goodness to him. "This is what God the LORD says—he who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it: 'I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.'" (Isaiah 42: 5-7)

We ask this in the name of the One who has taken Connor's hand and is always walking with him, Amen

We continue to look for the next step, as we believe God will provide a way. PLEASE PRAY FOR TAIT, CONNOR AND ME AS WE GIVE OUR TESTIMONY THIS SATURDAY MORNING AT LAKEPOINTE CHURCH IN ROCKWALL. Pray we will offer hope, strength and glory to God to those who listen. We are so excited about giving our testimony, because Revelations 12:11 says "They overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and the words of their testimony." So, here we go. I'm ready for some "overcoming!"

Joy Cruse