MAYO Clinic-Day 3

Once again, y'all are Rockstar prayer warriors...

Today was a pretty good day.  We started with being able to get my EEG done this morning, rather than this afternoon.  This will hopefully allow the doc more time to read it and it opened up the afternoon to accomplish more...

Then, we met with the autonomic specialist, the guy that deals with POTS.  This was my least favorite appointment.  He was quite rude and asked me to, "prove it," many times in our meeting.  This was in reference to diagnoses that we have received from other docs.  Anyway, he had me in tears and I asked him to please stop treating me the way he was...he didn't.  So, I left the room.  Ben stayed in with him for the next hour and a half and shared my medical history.  Basically, he didn't believe everything that we were saying that is so rare...he didn't read my file before he came in the room.  Every other doctor has spent over an hour reading my records.  Once B told him that we had exhausted every option in Texas and that even our docs in Texas said that they had never seen a case like this, he apparently changed his tune and started listening.  Then, he read through my chart with Ben and things he had disagreed with me on...he read written in my chart and seemed to understand finally.  His excuse to Ben about his attitude is that he is "a New Yorker..."

We left there and I had an echocardiogram done.  They can't use the ultrasound gel on me because it triggers the seizures.  So, we had to get creative.  She actually got a cup of water and gave me a bunch of gauze.  I literally laid there squeezing water on to my chest the whole time she did the scan.  It was interesting, but it worked!!!!

Then, I had my MRI done...we met a sweet couple while waiting to be called back for the test.  While I was in the test, B was able to get a little work done.  Then, he had a chance to speak with this wife.  Please be in prayer for them, Diane & Doug.  He has been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease.  They are hoping it is an inaccurate diagnosis.  She is also a cancer survivor like B!  So, it was a special connection!  Please keep them in your prayers!

Then, we went to each of the appts. that I have scheduled for the rest of the week and tried to rearrange them so that we can leave on time Friday.  The praise is that we were able to move my appt. with the cardiologist next week, to an appt. tomorrow morning!!!!  So, now, the only appt. that is out of the way, is the neuro on July 15th!  We are hoping to get that changed tomorrow.  Otherwise, we will need to fly back up here for that appt.

We met a precious family here through one of B's clients.  The hubby works at Mayo and they have been precious to offer anything that we might need.  We were running low on lettuce for my salads and she went to the grocery store for us and not only blessed us with lettuce, but she also bought some yummy snacks for B and she brought me a rose. : )  Her oldest son (12 years old) was with her and he was such an impressive young man!!!

Finally, we decided to go sit outside the hotel and rest.  On our way out, B stopped in the coffee shop here.  A guy walked up behind us and said that B looked familiar and asked for his name.  Turns out they were in the Corps together!!!  There sure are a lot of Aggies in Rochester.  Anyway, he is doing his residency here and so we got to catch up with him, too!  Such a small world!

Now, we need to get to sleep since we only slept four hours last night b/c of my EEG.

Please be praying for:

• Our appointments to flow smoothly tomorrow.
• For our disc to arrive from Houston
• That the neuro will have time to view the disc & see us before we leave town on Friday.  It would be great to not have to come back up here in two weeks.
• We have one appt. that we are trying to get moved from Friday afternoon to tomorrow or Friday morning!  
• That the docs will be able to uncover the cause or a solution to all of this.
• That our sweet baby will continue growing into a healthy little baby!!
• That we will be a shining light for the Lord while we are here.

Thank you all so much for checking in and praying!!!!!

MAYO Clinic- Day 2

Whew!!!!!  What an amazing day!  Praise the Lord!  

Clinically speaking, we did not have much to report yesterday.  Today was our first day to truly get a taste of what Mayo has to offer.  WOW!  Part of the focus here is to have a team approach and we saw that in action.  Our neuro scheduled quite a few tests that led to other appts, then those appts. led to the scheduling of more tests, etc...each doctor has spent no less than two hours with us.

Thanks to you amazing prayer warriors we were able to not only knock out today's schedule of tests, but we in fact were able to knock out many of the appointments and tests that were originally scheduled for the next couple of days. THANK YOU and PRAISE THE LORD!!!

We still have a lot more tests that need to take place and doc appts that need to be moved up...however, we saw the Lord's hand working today in making so much happen.  So, we're ready to watch the miracle unfold tomorrow, as well.

We started the morning with blood work and then progressed to many of the cardio-focused tests that were ordered (i.e., confirming my POTS diagnosis, doing an ECG, & getting a Holter Monitor).

After our day was done, we realized that we were running low on our water (the water in our hotel comes out a foggy color-yuck) and so we needed to head to the store to get more.  So, taking advantage of the incredible weather, B pushed me in our borrowed wheel chair across Rochester to the local HyVee Supermarket.  For all you Texans, and those that know what triple digit temps are like in June, July, and August, let's just say that 85 and no humidity is, well...VERY NICE!!!!  I have actually had goose bumps for most of the trip.  B has been perfect & comfortable.  He is loving it!  Hopefully, we can bring some of the cooler temps back home to the Big D.

Since I have to take every meal with me, we have had coolers attached to the wheelchair the entire time.  On our way back from the store, we heard a man say, "Gig 'Em Aggies!"  We had our A&M cooler hanging on the wheelchair and he saw it as we passed him.  Turns out he was a student at A&M & his daughter was there while B & I were, as well.  He also grew up in New Braunfels and was a life guard at T Bar M (this is the camp that B grew up attending and worked at through college).  Such a small world.

I had one appt. this afternoon with a physician that happens to be from Texas.  So, we had fun with that connection.  While we were meeting with him, he actually showed me the results from my autonomic tests & other labs from this morning.


The basic findings are:

• I do have POTS (we should learn more about this from the specialist tomorrow when we meet with him).
• He believes my thyroid levels are good, but it is still clear that it is autoimmune.  We have an endo consult and hope they can elaborate.
• He doesn't see the seizures as being an issue for...
  
• Oh, during one of the scans that he ran today, this is what he found:

 YEP, it's a baby!!

 A 10-wk old baby!!!

This is one of the many reasons that we were thrilled to be coming to Mayo.  We found out in May that we have a little one on the way!  Since we lost our first baby (in 2005) at around 8wks, we have been cautiously optimistic.  We have been seeing many different high risk OBs over the last few weeks to see what risks come with seizures, the Ketogenic Diet, and pregnancy!!

The high risk OB was the doc that we saw today and he said that he's not that concerned...the fact that I'm not able to be physically active without triggering seizures is his biggest concern because I could get blood clots.  However, he seemed very excited for us and confident!!!  So, we felt it was time to share the news and get our precious prayer warriors on their knees for this beautiful new life growing inside of us!!!

We have a meeting with his dietitian on Thursday and one with the Keto dietitian on Friday.  We are hoping they can get together and come up with a good plan!  The other great news is that my seizures have decreased since becoming pregnant!  So, we are praising the Lord, not only for the miracle of life, but the miracle of reduced seizures!!

We'll post more later, but wanted to share the fun & exciting news with our prayer warriors!!!

1st day of appts at Mayo

Well, it started today...

I had my first appt. at the Mayo Clinic.  Before we left for the clinic, I called to see if they had received all of my files from Houston...NO!!

So, I put in a call to our precious friend in Houston that was sending them.  She faxed all of the paperwork to Mayo, but thought it would be safer to ship the images (DVD) to us and let us travel with them.  However, they haven't even arrived at our house yet (and she didn't tell us she was doing this).  They are not allowed to overnight anything from Memorial-Hermann in Houston and so even if they are able to make a second copy tonight, they can't actually send it overnight mail.  Someone would have to go pick it up and overnight it for us.  So, Mom is making trips to the house each day in hopes of the disk arriving so that she can overnight them to our doc.  Please pray that it arrives tomorrow, Tuesday.  There are so many scans, tests, etc., that the docs wouldn't want to repeat here (i.e., brain surgery)!!!

They give you an envelope, when you arrive, for all of your medical records.  We had 85+ pages from Houston and I brought another very large stack.  My doc appt. was at 2:30p.  However, this wasn't like most doc appts where they pick up your chart as they walk in the room and say, "so, what brings you in today?"  The doc actually took all of my records at around 2:15p and didn't come in to the room until after 3:15p.  He spent all of that time reviewing my records and creating his own chronology.

He did a basic neuro exam, asked a lot of questions, and told me the different areas he would refer me to while here...we didn't leave the room until 5pm!!!!  Yes, a doc spent that much time with a patient!

Another cool note about this doctor is that he and his wife are adoptive parents.  They have three birth kiddos.  However, they also have two beauties from China!!  We got to share our story about adoption from Korea and how we can't wait until they allow us to adopt (B's cancer & my epilepsy disqualify us now).  We also got to tell him about some friends that are in China right now picking up their little boy!!!  So, that was a special connection.

We start everything he is recommending bright and early tomorrow morning.  They want to do quite a few cardiovascular studies since one of the original diagnoses was POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome).  They are also going to do quite a bit of blood work.  We have been asking about autoimmune components forever and he is going to run the appropriate tests for that, as well.

They are so organized here and print off a nice schedule for you.  However, the schedule has us here until JULY 15th!!!  So, our prayer is that we are able to shorten that...I only have food through Saturday morning.  We are basically able to show up for appts. that are scheduled days in advance and ask them to squeeze us in...Thus, this will be our goal tomorrow.  My first appt. is supposed to be an X-ray at 8:30a, then a tilt table test (back to the POTS) at 9a, and then labs at 10:20a.  However, we are going to try to get the labs taken care of at 7:30a and that will open up the 10a slot for more of the cardio tests that are scheduled for later in the day or later in the week.  The key is getting them all done in enough time that they can be read, discussed, etc., with enough time to still have a follow up with the docs before our flight leaves on Friday!

So, again prayers are greatly appreciated!!!!

By the way, Wed-Sat., I had 30 seizures.  Sun-today, I've had two.  They were both yesterday.  Not a single one today.  It's so crazy...kind of like your car making crazy noises until you arrive at the mechanic.  So, though I want these seizures miraculously gone and cured, you kind of hope you'll have one for the Neurologist to see.  I believe that I have my EEG on Wednesday.  So, if he's going to see one, that would be the time to have it.

Once we finished all of our appts., we made it back to the room and had dinner.  Then, we decided to go on a date!!!  Mayo has a beautiful campus.  So, B grabbed the wheelchair (physical activity is a big seizure trigger for me) and we went on a nice walk through the campus.

Here we are in front of the main clinic.

This is us with Drs. Mayo.

The original Mayo Medical School.

Finally, a picture of the best looking chauffeur, wheelchair pusher, caregiver, hubby, in the world!!!

Tomorrow should be a very busy day.  So, no idea when the posts will arrive.  However, we covet your prayers for:

• each and every step of the schedule
• each doctor, tech, etc., and their wisdom
• B's strength since he's having to do all of the walking and pushing
• that the right symptoms will occur at the right times for the right diagnosis
• that each office will be prepared for us
• that we will be a light and shine for the Lord and HE will receive ALL the glory!!

We love you all and are so grateful for all of the precious encouragement we've received from B's facebook page to all of the texts I have received...thank you!  It's awesome to know that we've got prayer warriors out there calling on HIS name for our sake.

God's Hand!!!

Well, day 1 is complete and I'll post an update on that soon.  However, just want you to know how we truly saw the Lord's hand in everything yesterday:

1.  We were late getting to my uncle's house (he was taking us to the airport & letting us park at his house).  He called and offered to just meet us at the airport and drive B's truck back to his house!  WOW!  That saved us considerable time so that we didn't miss our flight.

2.  When we got to our gate, the flight was delayed.  So, that gave us a few more minutes to collect ourselves.  Then, the flight attendant started getting upset about my cooler that he couldn't store it on the flight (this is something they are always precious about doing...).  Anyway, he said that if he stored that, we could take any of our carry-ons with us and they had to be checked all the way to Rochester.  Those contained items we couldn't part with either (i.e., meds, gram scale, computer with all of my meal plans, etc.) if it didn't get transferred or if the flight was delayed!

Another gentleman, on our flight, overheard this and allowed his carry-on to be checked so that we didn't have to worry about checking ours!!!!  What a blessing!

3. Since our flight from the Big D was so delayed, we only had about 15 minutes before the flight to Rochester left (this was the last flight out for the night).  So, we would be stuck in Chicago with all of our stuff waiting in Rochester.  So, B rushed to the gate to hold the plane and the sweet lady at the airport booked it with the wheelchair.  When we arrived, we found that the pilot was late and so the flight was delayed!!

4.  We arrived at our hotel (we had to go with the only hotel that we could find with a full kitchen since we have to prepare all of my meals) and it was scary...when I called the front desk to tell the lady what we found in the room, she agreed it was gross...we started calling around and found another hotel (more expensive, but they had a full kitchen).  The hotel we were at gave us a ride to the new hotel!  How sweet is that?  When we arrived at the new hotel, we found that it is attached to the Mayo Clinic.  So, B is able to just push me in the wheelchair over to the clinic!!!

So, just had to share a few ways that we saw the Lord at work yesterday!!

We'll post an update soon on today, but we've got to eat some dinner!

Thank you all for your prayers!!!

June 27th Nate Update

"We had some minor bumps this week, but all was corrected quickly and Nate actually started round two of chemo. He got out of the hospital this morning and has 4 days left in this cycle. July should be a very busy month. He will first drop, then once his counts recover the plan is to move forward with his stem cell harvest. I will spare you all the details, but Nate will be involved in the harvest, another bone marrow biopsy and bone scans in the coming weeks. Using all of the information gathered we will be making final decisions as to what route to go with the transplant. Jake will also be harvested in the coming weeks. We are in long meetings with Nate's doctors and will continue to be in deep discussions with them as the transplant in now in sight. We are praying for wisdom and guidance from God. You all have been with us on this long journey and held us up with prayer. We are thankful and ask that you continue to pray for our little guy and so many others who are suffering. Thank you!"

MAYO CLINIC DAY 1....The Journey Begins

Well, we finally made it. Four + long years and we have been able to take M's case to Rochester, MN. First, please pray with us that God will be glorified in all that we do while here. That all who we meet and come in contact with, that God would get credit from everything from our actions to words. Second, please pray that we will begin to find answers as early as tomorrow!!!!

So our journey is continuing, but with a new chapter...Already we have seen God's hands involved through our flight. We were late leaving the Big D and that meant we would be cutting it very close to even have a remote chance of catching our flight in Chicago that connect us to Rochester. Furthermore, our flight from Chicago was the last one to Rochester and as most of you know, we have to bring every little bit of M's food with us so having an overnight in Chicago isn't just something we can really do....

Anyway, all that to say we did get to Chicago and Praise the Lord, our connecting flight was delayed by about an hour (origninally we had about 15 mins to deplane and get across O'Hare to our other flight before it took off).

And, lastly we did get checked into our hotel and are looking forward to tomorrow's start at the Mayo Clinic. We will be sure to continue to post. FYI-our first appointment is tomorrow at 2 p.

MAYO

Bring out the best.

This is what we are hoping for...

Yes, I have had to add a lot of mayo to my daily menu to keep up with the nutritional therapy they have placed me on for my seizures. However, we leave this weekend for the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota!! Praise the Lord!

They are ranked at the top as far as neurology goes and so we are praying that they are able to help us uncover more and actually get to the bottom of all of this. We are also seeing an autonomic specialist, for the POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) diagnosis. We saw a neurosurgeon a few weeks ago that said epilepsy can mimic POTS. So, we hope that they can put all of the pieces together. We are also trying to get in with an endocrinologist to see how my thyroid/auto-immune condition could play into everything.

We have a praise!! I went seven days last week without any seizures! That is the longest I've ever gone!!

However, in the last three days, I have had 25 seizures!!!!! We don't know what has changed. I basically have the same meals every single day, take the same meds, do the same things....so, we are hoping that they are able to help us uncover more...

We'll try to get better about updates while we are there...

We covet your prayers!!!!

From Connor's Mommy

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I've been having a hard time sitting down at the computer to write this next entry. I've been trying for a week now. I'm trying so hard to write something uplifting and inspirational, but I just come up empty. My mind is so saturated with memories of Connor's last few weeks. A year ago tomorrow, we flew home from Guatemala for the last time. Painful memories. From May until July 10, every day leads me back to where we were a year ago. I guess it's just going to be this way for awhile. Instead of lingering on my difficult times, I thought I would leave you with a new song by Matthew West. It's called "Save a Place for Me." It says exactly what I feel.

Don't be mad if I cry
It just hurts so bad sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you

Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon

I have asked the question why
But I guess the answer's for another time So instead I'll pray with every tear And be thankful for the time I had you here And I wanna live my life just like you did Make the most of my time just like you did And I wanna make my home up in the sky Just like you did Oh, but until I get there Until I get there

Save a place for me!

On a different note, thanks to all our TeamConnor friends and supporters who made our CT Relay Run and our III Forks Golf tournament and Dinner a success. You guys are the BEST!

Always believing,
Joy

From Nate's Mommy

"We went to the doctor this morning and platelets are still down. So the wait continues and we are praying in a few more days Nate will be ready for his next round of chemo. We will be meeting very soon with the stem cell transplant team to discuss the next step for Nate. PLEASE pray for us to have wisdom as we move forward."

Two Nate Updates

June 10 at 7:59am

Wes provided an update last night on Nate. Nate had a biopsy yesterday and the early response from Dr's is that the left side of Nate's hip does not have cancer, the right side shows signs of cancer but the tumors are reducing in size. The full results will be released on Monday. This means that the cancer tumors are responding to the Chemo treatments that are taking place. Also, it was revealed yesterday that Jake (Nate's older brother) is a perfect match for Stem Cells which will mean there is a good supply of these cells for Nate’s treatement. This is not the same as a bone marrow transplant. For Stem Cell therapy, the cells have to come from either Nate himself or a matching donor. The Stem Cell treatment is still about a month away as Nate continues with Chemo. Once the tumors have reduced in size, they will begin this treatment.

June 11 at 9:40pm

Wes just called with good news about the pathology report. They just received the report back and the Dr's are saying that the Chemo treatment Nate has been receiving has been very effective and shows no Cancer. The last test that Nate had showed cancer in his legs and hips. That has now cleared up. Nate will continue this current Chemo treatment for another month and will then start the Stem Cell treatment. Let's all continue to pray for Nate, Wes, Jackie, Jake and Luke as they continue to walk through this valley asking God to give His sustaining help. "Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me." Psalm 54:4

Nate Update

I wanted to update everyone on the latest update on Nate. Jackie said that Nate's counts have recovered. He will have his bone marrow biopsy tomorrow and should have results on Monday. Nate had a platelets transfusion last week. As long as his platelets’ look good he will be admitted to the hospital for chemo on Thursday or Friday. Please continue your prayers for Nate and the Oxfords and the biopsy tomorrow.
In Christ,
Scott

Snow Day

I'm so behind on posting on the blog. So, I started going back through our old pics to see what I had missed...

I was going through our pics from the snow days and almost skipped over them. However, I realized with it being as hot as it is today, snow day pics might be helpful!!!

So, sit back and cool off...

Maybe have a picnic with your family!!

Go run around & play!!
Stop & smile for the camera!

Everyone stay cool!!

From Nate's Mommy

"Yesterday, Nate's counts had dropped and he needed platelets again. His bone scans showed what we already knew, that Nate has a lot of tumor basically all over his little body. The doctor is thinking Nate's counts will recover within a week or so and we will continue chemo. He will have a bone marrow sample taken once his counts recover. This will give the doctors more information for current and future plans. He is feeling fine, playing Wii and making crafts. Please continue to pray for a response. Love you all!!!"

Fundraiser for Little Nate's family tonight

For those of you that live anywhere near Rockwall, there will be a fundraiser tonight for Nate's family. They are out in LA having some new treatments...

The Rockwall Chiloso will give 20% of your purchase to the Oxford's.

Fundraiser Details:

Chiloso

2455 Ridge Road, Rockwall

5-9pm

They will have a bucket sitting out for you to put your receipt in....you have to put your receipt in this bucket for the donation to count...so, make sure you put your receipt in the bucket and support Nate and his family!!!

Nate Update

"We are in a temporary holding phase again. Waiting for counts to come up. It seemed a few days ago that Nate's counts were a big issue, but today his lab results looked very promising. He will have the weekend off, and if all looks good on Tuesday then we will start chemo again. He also has bone scans on Tuesday morning. I spoke with the doctor breifly today and he is up beat about next week. Things are very day to day as Nate's treatment is being specifically built around his response. So today is a good day and we are thankful for that. He also had a ct-scan when he was in the hospital last week and his lungs and stomach are clear of any tumor, so nothing new there (which is great news). We press on and everyone is doing well!

Ty's heart surgery was a great success. Thank you for praying for him. He should get to go home next week. Our boys will miss their friend, but we are thankful he is doing so well!"

Nate Update

"Nate finished his inpatient chemo yesterday. He was delayed a day because of a possible reaction between his pain meds and one of the chemo drugs. He seemed to tolerate the chemo fine, he didn't have any immediate problems. Nate is still feeling well and was ready to get back to the Ronald McDonald House with Jake and Luke. He got a blood transfusion before we left and his platlet count has dropped some. We are praying for a big response to the chemo, and that Nate's body can handle the chemo, which is shown through blood counts. We will be watching numbers over the next two days and praying to continue with the chemo cycle. He is still adjusting to the back brace. We wanted to say thank you for all the encouraging emails, cards, and packages. We love you all very much!!!"

WOW

‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ (Jeremiah 33:3 NKJV)

How cool to witness God work today!! He heard you before you even called out to HIM!!!

As I was pressing the "publish" button on the blog, we got a call from the doc's office to get up there quickly. He decided to see us in between his two surgical patients.

He had great "bed-side manner!" He had many great recommendations for our visit at The Mayo Clinic. He listened much better than other docs. It was impressive. There are symptoms that I have mentioned to every single doc I've ever seen and they all say, "yes, that's part of seizures!" However, he took it a step further and pointed out different definitions of each symptom and how each one points to a different part of my brain. For example, I feel as if my memory has been erased. I have told each doc and they all say it's part of epilepsy. This doc explained to me today that not only can memories be erased, but you can even lose the ability to "create a memory." This is huge for me!!! I have been to funerals and then a few months later, I ask Mom or B how that person is doing...they have to remind me that I went to their funeral. The doc explained that this is not forgetting so much as never remembering and that points to a specific part of the brain.

Point being, we learned so much from him and received great advice!!!

Thank you all for being such Rockstar Prayer Warriors!!!

Prayers today

Well, we are in Tyler today...

We came to meet a new neurosurgeon that a friend introduced us to...they met at a boy scout camp and our friend told the neuro our story and he said he wanted to see me. He trained at Mayo. So, that is exciting to us since we have an appt. at Mayo at the end of June.

Anyway, we came out last night and stayed with some sweet friends. When we got to his office this morning, we found out that he had canceled all appts for the day because he had two emergency surgeries. However, he wanted to keep mine on the books. They don't know if he will be able to see me in between the two surgeries or not...the second surgery is expected to be long.

So, we are sitting at a Dairy Queen right now waiting for him to complete his first surgery. We are praying that his patients in surgery are ok. We are also praying that he can see us fairly soon as I don't have enough food with me to stay much longer.

Thus, will you each say a quick prayer that we are able to have good, productive time with this doctor and fairly soon, but that his surgery patients will also be safe....

From Nate's Mommy

"Nate is getting adjusted to wearing his back brace. It is a little tough to sit in, but he does well walking in the brace. He is doing okay with the chemo so far, his platelets are a bit of an issue. He will have an echocardiogram in the morning before he is admitted tomorrow afternoon for more chemo. It is a routine test that has to be done before he can receive certain chemo medications. Please pray that he responds well over the next few days in the hospital and that his platelet count will not become an issue.

Our boys have made a friend here at the Ronald McDonald House, he is an 11 year old boy who will have open heart surgery on Sunday. Please pray for Ty and his mom as they are far from home and scared about the upcoming surgery.

Don't forget about our Rockwall kiddos fighting cancer! (Matt, Ethan, Devon and more)

We love you all and thank you for your prayers!!!!!!!"

From Connor's Mommy

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Saturday, May 15, 2010 was the 5 year Anniversary of Connor's original diagnosis of Stage IV Neuroblastoma. It was the beginning of our metamorphosis, the changing of all our lives forever. I can't say that I feel like a beautiful butterfly now, but I definitely feel like I have gone through the painful transformation.

This roaring train that began 5 years ago still has its effect on Tait, my children and myself. I thought that when Connor's struggles ended on earth, that the effects of this war would somehow ease on my family. Not so. I see how Mason has anger issues. Wouldn't you be angry, if you were born into this life of cancer chaos? Carson deals with being "bored" every day since Connor's been gone. That's what he told Tait. I believe he's starting to accept this new life without Connor and trying to embrace new friendships and these new circumstances. Kenzie is mature beyond her years. She's had to grow up and be so independent, because Tait and I were not there for her emotionally and physically. Tait and I struggle to help ease our children's pain.

I thought days of watching my children suffer were over. Wrong again. It's just a different kind of suffering. Not physical like Connors, but still suffering. I've had many conversations with God.

"Enough, already! We've gone through four years of pain. Why, more pain? Isn't our punch card full yet? What is your plan in all this?" I thought that at this 5 year mark, I would be shouting praises to God. I could tell all the doctors who doubted my God and Connor's healing, that my God is powerful, awesome and a miraculous God. It wasn't supposed to be this way. "Couldn't God's plan be served better if Connor were healed on earth? Isn't that a better plan, God?" I start doubting his Sovereignty; his willingness to heal in this day and time.

As soon as these cries of doubt leave my mouth, I feel guilty. Should I really say these things to God? Is it disrespectful? Then, I think of my daughter, MacKenzie. If she had a problem, or especially a problem with me, I would want her to come straight to me, not to anyone else. Bring her cares and worries to me, so I can help her. How much more does our Loving Father in Heaven feel about our worries? "Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you." I Peter 5:7

The prophets, Job and King David give us many examples in the old testament of crying out to God, throwing our doubts, complaints and worries His way. Job said, "Though I cry, 'I've been wronged!' I get no response; though I call for help, there is no justice. He has blocked my way so I cannot pass; he has shrouded my paths in darkness. He has stripped me of my honor and removed the crown from my head. He tears me down on every side till I am gone; he uproots my hope like a tree. His anger burns against me; he counts me among his enemies. His troops advance in force; they build a siege ramp against me and encamp around my tent." These honest complaints from Job (some I can relate to) give me confidence to share my innermost worries, without fear or restraint.

I love this new song by Amy Grant, "Better than a Hallelujah". I think she gets it, too. God wants to hear EVERYTHING, good and bad. He wants all of our hearts, not just the good and pretty pieces, but also the hurting, ugly and angry pieces.

God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves the drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what's been done,
The silence when the words won't come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.


Always believing,

Joy Cruse

Nate Post from his Mom

"Nate's counts finally recovered on Thursday. He was able to start his first chemo medication Thursday night as an outpatient, which will be taken everyday for 21 days. We will go for counts every other day for about a week. If his counts maintain then he will be admitted to the hospital for two more medications, all under the guidance of Dr. Finlay. Please pray for this to happen. His back brace will be ready on Tuesday. He will wear it during the time he is out of bed. This should offer support and hopefully protect his spine from any possible damage from the tumor growth. Thank you for your continued prayers. We miss Texas and all our friends and family, but we are so thankful to be here for Nate's treatment."

Pics at the Arboretum

Our sweet and talented friend, Haley, did another round of pics for us last week. She put a post on her blog with a couple of the pics.

She is so talented. If you ever need pics, reach out to her. www.haleybphotography.com

Update from Nate's parents

"Nate is still feeling well. He is getting adjusted to living at the Ronald McDonald house. As always, he is having fun playing the Wii and enjoying the toy room here. Most of his counts are looking good, but his platelets have not recovered yet. He got a platelet transfusion again yesterday. He can not begin chemo until his body is making his own platelets. We are praying that he will be ready in a day or two to begin. Please keep praying with us!!!

Let's not forget the other Rockwall kiddos fighting cancer:
Matt Burpee, Ethan Tate, Devon Kerr, Reese, and so many more in the area. Thanks so much!!!!"

How You Can Love on Nate & his family

This is from their neighborhood HOA. Everything in Red is from me!

**********************************

I've had a lot of e-mails asking how Nate is doing and how you can help.....

I just spoke with Jackie and wanted to keep everyone updated. The reality is that Nate has been given 2 weeks. His doctor pretty much sent him home and said to make an appt with hospice.

Wes and Jackie are not giving up. Wes is already in California and Jackie is flying out in the morning, although Nate is not a candidate for stem cell, they still want to try other options. They will be trying a different type of chemo to see what happens.

I have come up with a couple of different ways we can help as a community. I know many of you have already helped and donated and I thank you very much, but they need our help now more than ever and I know we can dig a little bit deeper to bless them.

I spoke with the city of Fate and what we can do is put money towards their water bill, when you go pay your bill in downtown Fate, you can put any amount towards their home. How wonderful would it be for them to have one less bill to worry about. Just mention Jacob (Wes) Oxford, their address is (I am not comfortable giving their address. So, call me or leave a comment on the blog, if you want to do this and I'll share it with you).

Another way you can help is to bless them with an offering, there is an account that was originally opened through Washington Mutual, now Chase, and the account # is 4942119193.
This acct is under Jacqueline M. Oxford FBO Nathan E. Oxford.

I hold this family very close to my heart and it really hurts to see them go through this, so please make any small donation that you can, I can't imagine being in their shoes.

Meals will not be necessary at the time since they will be in California for at least 3 weeks if everything goes as planned. We already have someone donating their time to mow their yard and clean their home (Thank you).

I thank you in advance and please feel free to ask me any questions and I'll respond to the best of my knowledge.

*****************

Thank you all for always checking in to see how Nate is doing and your willingness to pray for him! Now you get a chance to truly love on them!! Yeah! Thank you, Lord, for opening the door for us to love on the Oxford's. Please heal your sweet child, Nate!

Changes for Nate

Keep your faithful prayers going for sweet little Nate!!

****************

"First all we want to thank everyone for all the support and prayers over the past few weeks as we have had to make difficult decisions and research what we should do for Nate.
We have decided to come to Children's Los Angeles and continue with a different form of chemo since Nate did not respond to the last two rounds. The oncologist is very optomistic, and hopeful that Nate might respond. We feel deeply that Nate is still strong and ready to fight. His attitude and spirit are just as strong as ever. He is being fitted for a back brace that should help with the spinal conpressions being cause by tumor. He will sleep in this in hopes that it will help this situation.
We know it is a big job for man, but God is more than able to heal Nate by whatever way he chooses. Thank you for standing with us in prayer. We are so blessed!!!!!"

****************

There are some ways to help the family financially. If you feel led in that direction, you can e-mail prayer@cornerstonerockwall.com and she will forward the information to you.

Nate update from his Mom

"Nate had his MRI this week. It was split into two days, both days showed poor response to chemo. He has had a lot of new tumor growth and this is very concerning. He will not be a candidate for stem cell transplant at this point. His counts are still low and so we will not be able to start any new treatment until his counts come up. We are planning on leaving the hospital today. Please pray for Wes and I as we make plans for the next plan of action for Nate. We are still hopeful and working on a plan for Nate. Despite everything, he has been feeling well and playing and laughing with Jake and Luke. He is a fighter, with a strong spirit. We love you all, please pray for our little angel."

My Granny

Well, today is the three year anniversary of a wonderful day for my Granny and a sad day for those of us here on earth...She was such a beautiful gift to this world!

This is the note that I sent out after she passed:

Well, it has taken me a while to sit down to write this. Not because I haven't wanted to, but because there are no words that are adequate. I want to say something clever and cute or inspirational, but it's just not coming to me.

I had the privilege of holding my Granny's hand as she reached out and took her Savior's Hand on Saturday, May 5th at 12:40pm. She woke up Friday morning at 3:20am with severe chest pains. She called Ben & me and we got her to Lake Pointe.

She was diagnosed with very severe Pneumonia. Granny was 86 years young! She was such a trooper. Granny and I used to always have Friday night slumber parties at her house. They were special memories! So, I got to have my last Friday night slumber party with her. Ben brought breakfast Saturday morning and we all laughed and had a good time. Within an hour, she went down hill very quickly and was in excrutiating pain.

My amazing husband held my Granny and comforted her for almost an hour so that I was able to get doctors, nurses, etc. I fell in love with him all over again watching his sweet heart as he loved my Granny through her unbearable pain. He even told her at one point that he loved her more than I did! What a blessing to be married to such an unbelievable man!!

Very soon after, she had a full code. They saved her and moved her to ICU. She coded a few more times. After two codes, they let me go in and sit next to her and whisper in her ear. I had the privilege of thanking her for sharing Jesus with all of us and told her how much each one of us loved her. I also got to pray for her sweet transition into the arms of her Savior. I told her we would fight like hell to keep her here, but if it was time for her to meet Jesus face to face, we didn't want to get in the way. Then, I got to sing "Amazing Grace" and "It Is Well with My Soul" to my Granny. When I started to sing "Amazing Grace," I heard her, though intubated, try to sing Amazing Grace back to me. Those two sweet words...WOW!!

Mom was on her first vacation in years. She never wanted to leave because she was afraid something would happen to Granny. We had Mom on the cell phone and she was able to speak to Granny and tell her how much she loved her. Very soon after, Granny reached out to take her Savior's hand and entered into the Kingdom of our Lord and Savior. As I was telling my Mom how beautiful the transition was as her soul left her earth suit, Ben said, "Look, look!" Her cheek was twitching as if she was winking agreeing that it was so beautiful! I didn't let go of her for the next 2+ hours.

Granny always wrote precious poems. When we finally made it back to the house, I got to read through many of them. A most special moment was when I read the line of one that said,

I had entered the gates of Heaven and I put a smile upon my face.

Now I could sing out loud that beautiful hymn “Amazing Grace”.

Mom is back from her trip and the arrangements have been made. We would be honored if you would celebrate Granny's life with us.

PRAY for sweet Nate

I just received this update from a local church on Nate:

Hi Everyone,

There has been a lot of action on the Facebook e-mails for Nate. He had had two rounds of chemo and then a MRI to see if the chemo was working. In the meantime, Nate's dad, Wes, flew out to CA to meet with a stem cell transplant specialist at Children's Los Angeles to discuss options. The MRI results came back not good. It shows that the chemo has not worked and the tumors have actually grown and spread.

I received an e-mail this morning from LR advising of a conversation that Jackie (Nate's mom) just had with TR (LR's hubby). The doctors told her that Nate has only 2-3 weeks left to live. Wes is still in Los Angeles.

This is so heart-breaking! Please be praying for the family as well as ALL of the people who have been praying for them for all of this time. I think even though we may not know them personally, they have definitely captured a place in our hearts. Praise the Lord that the family knows the love and peace of Jesus. Please pray that they would feel His presence. Now, doctors are not always right with dates. Only the Lord knows what day Nate will go home to be with Him. We can still pray for healing.

Nate

April 30th

"Nate is having an MRI in the morning. They will see if he has responded to the two rounds of chemo he has been given. We will make decisions based on these results. His counts are very low right now and he is at risk for infection. Please pray for good news tomorrow and that he does not get a fever before his counts recover. Thank you for all the prayers and support!!!!"

May 1st

Just wanted to send out an update for Nate. The Dr's have delayed the MRI at the moment. Nate was admitted this morning due to a fever. His counts are very low right now and he is at risk for infection. Thank you for all the prayers and support for Nate.

Where's the beef?

Just a quick note to let you all know that we have found one of my seizure triggers.............

BEEF!!!

Can you believe it? We thought it was a trigger, but chose to not believe it. I love beef too much...I just didn't believe it could really be a seizure trigger.

So, April was one of my best months ever. I was only averaging about 2 seizures per day. Thus, I decided it was time to try beef again....

In the 17 days prior to eating it, I only had 34 seizures. In the 7 days since I ate the beef, I've had 33. So, it's time to say goodbye to the beef.

Nate Update from his Mom

"Nate has been having a great week. His counts looked good on Tuesday. He should be able to start round 2 tomorrow. He will have another count check in the morning, but all indicators show he should be fine. He is feeling really good and playing a lot. This week off from chemo has been great for him. Please pray that he continues to stay strong in round 2."

From Connor's Mommy

Last time, I spoke about unanswered prayers or not getting the answers we prayed for. Sometimes, we experienced something else with our prayers. SILENCE. At times, it was though there was a brick wall where God's answers were being blocked. I would cry out in frustration, "Why can't I hear you?" Or when I did hear from him, I felt as though I was misunderstanding his answers to me. It was as if my radar was faulty. I either didn't hear anything or it wasn't coming in clear. I would read His Word and interpret it one way,only to find out later, that is not what those Words or promises meant to me. What do we do when God is silent or unclear?

I will say that even when He was silent, I felt His presence. I never felt alone, but what could be the point of His silence? Surely, there is a purpose in ALL that He does. Finally, 9 months after Connor's death, maybe I have some understanding behind God's purpose in all this.

We were discussing this in Bible Study and my friend, Marcy, made an interesting observation. If the Lord had not remained silent or unclear to my questions about Connor's fate, how would I have responded? Would I have acted in such faith if I knew Connor would not live past the age of 8 ½? Would I have fought so diligently for him if I knew my efforts would have been in vain? Could I have lived with no regrets without that valiant fight for my son's life? Would I have carried Hope in my heart if I knew Connor's final date on earth? Could I have remained strong? Honestly, I don't know the answers to those questions.

I do know that things would have been different, though, if I had the knowledge of Connor's fate ahead of time. What would God have said to me if He had not remained silent? Would those answers have been a benefit for me or my downfall? In hindsight, I am grateful for His silence. It reminded me of Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, "You can't handle the truth!"

Like Garth Brook's song the dance, I would not have wanted to know when the dance would end. I see God's wisdom now in his silence, though His silence at the time was heart-wrenching and maddening. Again, His Sovereignty is a blessing.

"Can anybody hear me?
The silence is deafening
Why do You feel so far away?
When I know You're here with me
But I just need faith to see
Nothing can separate me from Your love
I will trust in You, even in the moments I can't find You,
and I will hold on to Your promises of love
You've never failed before"

By: Meredith Andrews

Always believing,

Joy Cruse

Update on Nate - 04/10/2010 - From Jackie

"Nate will finish round one today. He will have next week to recover. Please pray that his blood counts recover, so he can start round two the following week. One week off is a very short time for counts to come up. Nate has been doing well with this first round. He has had some vomitting and other side effects, but this past week he seemed to have more good days than bad. He played with Jake and Luke, rode his little jeep and enjoyed the sunshine in the afternoons (after daily chemo) He has been very motiviated to play with close family friends and had a wonderful Easter. He is actually using his walker again and able to stand up without hurting. His pain in under control and he is resting at night. Each day that he feels well is a true blessing. We want to thank everyone for your constant prayers for our family. Please continue to pray for our little guy as well as others who are hurting right now. There are so many kiddos fighting this fight.
Please continue to pray for Matt, and Ethan, both 5year old boys from Rockwall fighting cancer. Thank you to everyone who is on this journey with our family!"

An update from Nate's page on Facebook

Subject: Update on Nate - 04/03/2010

I wanted to send out an update on Nate that Wes shared with me. Nate just started Chemo again this week. Jackie has been taking him everyday for the treatments. Please continue your prayers for Nate as his immune system will be weakened and all the discomfort that goes along with these treatments will be very difficult. The Doctors are trying to reduce the size of the tumors. If successful, after 2 months, Nate will start stem cell treatment which is a treatment that is used around the world and in the US. In this treatment, Nate's own stem cells will be used to fight the tumors. Please continue your prayers for Nate, Wes and Jackie, asking for God's sustaining help and guidance for them during this process. Wes told me that they are not "giving up" and asked that we continue to "pray and not lose hope" for their little boy.

Prayer...from Connor's Mommy

Wow!

I think that Joy has read my mind and heart with this post. I have struggled in many of the same ways. Lord, we are praying for healing, we are doing it the way you tell us to, etc., why am I still having so many seizures & now migraines, too? Yet, as hard as it is to swallow (and I don't want to swallow this), Joy is right in what she states below.

Be blessed!

**********

I mentioned on my last blog how my prayer life has been under construction. During Connor's illness, I was always searching for bible verses and Christian books on a powerful prayer life. I was constantly in prayer for Connor and others. I was praying specifically. I was praying with Faith and Belief. I was praying with a group of united believers (when 2 or more are gathered in his name). I was approaching God with a repentant heart, always asking Him to search my heart for anything that would hinder my prayers. I didn't want to be lacking for anything in my prayer life. I didn't want to search my heart and my prayer life and find that I was hindering Connor in any way. I found myself following the instructions of all the best books on prayer. I was thorough, trying to find the right "recipe" for answered prayers.

At the end of Connor's battle with cancer, I found myself dazed and confused. Nothing about "powerful prayers" made sense anymore. The advice from all those "experts" didn't seem to measure up, didn't seem to work. Even following the Bible's advice on prayer didn't seem to help my case any. Praying with belief, praying in large numbers, praying specifically, praying in the right order, etc. didn't add any specific "power" to my prayers. I eventually realized that the quality and quantity of prayers do not change the course of God's plans for all of us. His plans will not be thwarted. His plans are much bigger than my personal desires.

So, here I am searching for the true, right meaning of my prayers...how God means for me to pray. I've come to the conclusion that our prayers are another example of complete faith and leaning on God's sovereignty without complete understanding. Complete surrender. It is not a wish list. There is not a recipe. It's our willingness to line up our will to His. Our opportunity to commune with Him. Our grateful response to His blessings and His character. Our heart's cry of pain and agony that resonates with His heart. Our choice to be obedient to His command to "Be still and know Him." Our chance to bask in His Presence, to feel His joy and His peace.

I find that all these lessons continue to bring me back to the same principle....complete surrender in all areas of my life. I find that my prayers look different now. I continue to "cast my cares upon Him, because He cares for me" (I Peter 5:7). I also pray for His will, for God's Grace to get through whatever comes our/your way, for God to redeem the situation and for me/us to know Him more. I don't know if this would be the best foundation for a book on powerful prayer. I think the experts may not agree fully with me. I just know that that's where I am right now - trying to sort through the ashes of my disappointed dreams and my unanswered prayers.

I like Sarah Young's perspective on the matter.

"Do not seek me primarily for what I can give you. Remember that I,the Giver, am infinitely greater than any gift I might impart to you.

I am calling you to a life of constant communion with Me. Remember your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; it is to keep communing with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day."

Always believing,

Joy Cruse

Update on Nate 03/25/2010 - From Wes

"Dr Bowers said pathologist verified the tumors are Medulloblastoma spread to the bone in the pelvis. Please do not give up praying. The LORD God listens. Amen"

Update on Nate - 03/24/2010

Wes called and said that they spoke with the Dr today regarding the biopsy, but that the results were inconclusive and that the Dr could not confirm if cancer or not. More tests are being completed now and hopefully will know more tomorrow. Please continue your prayers for Nate and the Oxfords.

In Christ,
Scott

Nate

Subject: Update on Nate - 03/23/2010

Wanted to let everyone know that Nate was at the Hospital today and had a biopsy on the locations found on his hip. Wes said they should get the results tomorrow. He continues to be in pain. Please continue to pray for Nate for God's comfort and sustaining help. I will update as soon as I hear from Wes tomorrow.
In Christ,
Scott

Pray for Nate

Please keep the Oxford family in your prayers.

Nate has not been doing well.

Nate was rushed to the hospital this morning, he was screaming all night in pain. He's been given 2-6 months but we know that God has his own plans. I've attached his Facebook link if you would like to receive regular updates such as news about Nate's health, fundraising efforts, and specific prayer needs.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=42012022806

--Scott

Video to watch

You've got to go to this blog and then watch the video!

Good video to get you ready for the Ags playing today!!

Update on Nate - 03/18/2010 - From Wes

Wes said that the MRI had revealed more tumors all over his legs and hips. The Dr's said that it was the worst possible scenario and there was not much that could be done by way of treatment. Wes asked that we continue to pray without ceasing and not give up. Wes and Jackie are both hopeful and trusting that Nate will be healed and that God will be glorified through this. They want everyone to know that God is bigger than cancer and bigger than all of our problems and that He is faithful to hear the prayer of His children.

Nate Update!!

Another update on sweet little Nate:

I wanted to send out an update on Nate's status. The MRI has been scheduled for Thursday at 12:30 tomorrow. The purpose of the MRI will be to get a clearer picture of the mass that was found in Nate's hip area. Depending on what is found in that MRI, they will conduct a biopsy of the area to confirm what this is. Please continue your prayers for Nate and all the Oxfords. Please pray about the MRI that is taking place tomorrow at 12:30. Please pray that God would reveal clearly what is taking place with Nate and that the Dr's will have wisdom with how to proceed.
In Christ,
Scott

Plea for Prayers

I come to you this morning, begging for prayers!! It's been a rough week and today isn't any better.

I have had 44 seizures in the last seven days, not including today. Today, I've already had six, all before 10am. The first nine days of the month, I only had 13 seizures! This was a great average for me and was showing marked improvement.

Then, something went crazy. I "typically" average around 2.5/day, yet right now, I am averaging over 6/day. After doing EKGs while also doing the EEGs, they have equated each of my seizures to the equivalent of me running a marathon (if only I had the cute little marathon runner body). What they have found, is that each seizure places the strain on my heart, equivalent to that of running a marathon. So, I have already run SIX marathons this morning and I'm exhausted.

We have no idea what is causing this and are praying for wisdom in the decisions that we make. We are supposed to be leaving in a few days to go meet our new sister-in-law and niece and nephew. Traveling is tough when I'm having so many seizures (and because I have to take every single meal with me).

So, will you all please pray, believing HE will answer?

1. Healing from the seizures...no more seizures!
2. Safe & hassle-free travels-I have to take every single bite of food that I will eat while away and obviously TSA isn't a huge fan.
3. Wisdom with meds, meals, etc. Do we need to change something?

Thank you all so very much!

Update on Little Nate

For those of you that were praying for Nate today, here is the update we received:

I spoke with Wes and he provided more information from Nate's Spinal Tap today. Wes, Jackie and Nate are so thankful for the prayers and encouragement they have received. The preliminary results of the Spinal fluid is that it is clear of cancer. They sent the fluid off to have a more complete test and they will have the results back on Thursday. While completing the X-ray for the Spinal Tap, Dr's noticed a mass in Nate's hip. The Dr's will schedule an MRI to examine the hip area closer. Hopefully this will take place tomorrow. The Dr's felt this would explain why Nate was having so much pain in his back but want to wait for the MRI to examine what this mass is. Please continue to pray for Nate, asking God to comfort him. Asking that God reveal to the Dr's what is taking place and how to best move forward. Asking that God would send His sustaining help and show Nate, Wes and Jackie just how close He can be in times like this. "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:22.

In Christ,
Scott

Special Birthday!

To catch you up to speed, this is a post about little Nate from January of this year:

GREAT NEWS!!!

"Praise God, for HE is merciful. We got the results back from Nate's MRIs, and all scans are clear…no cancer. The doctors are very pleased, and were excited to be able to provide this news. When chemo started last January he was given a 15% chance to make it 3 months, and he made it six months before it came back worse than ever. When he began radiation in June and ended at the end of July, he was given six weeks to six months of borrowed time, and here he is…TO GOD BE ALL PRAISE AND GLORY. Nate truly is a miracle from God every day he is alive. I am not saying any of us deserve this, I am, however, saying that God had mercy on us and we will forever give HIM the glory for his healing. We thank all the doctors and nurses who have seen us through this. Many people have spent many hours laboring over him to help him get to this point. We also want to thank everyone around the world for your much needed prayers and for helping us along the way. We have been praying about larger ways to give back and help others, and we will begin on those things in the near future, using what God has done for us as a way to show HIS love to others.

You have all been praying for Nate, you might remember his picture from B's Surprise B-day Party! We were all celebrating that Nate was cancer free! His picture is about half way down the page.

Well, this weekend, we got to celebrate Nate's 5th birthday! How awesome to be there to celebrate one more year that wasn't promised. However, all thanks to the Lord, Nate survived!!

Crossing the street, from all the fun that was had at the park!

Back inside, dyeing Easter eggs.

Sweet Nate!

Getting ready to blow out his candles!
Praise the Lord as we never knew if this birthday would be celebrated!

Two cancer survivors!!
Posing with Mr. B! How about Nate's smile!?!?

Please continue to pray for Nate. He has started having some pain again and it's harder for him to walk. These are signs the docs said to watch for that would point to the return of the cancer...so, he was rushed back in this past weekend for MRIs, etc.

They did find another tumor in his brain. So, please say extra special prayers for little Nate. They will be doing a Spinal Tap on Tuesday. Pray! Pray!! Pray!!!

Palindromes

I received this in an e-mail and had to share:

A palindrome reads the same backward as it does forward. This video reads the exact opposite backward as forward. Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite.

This is only a 1 minute, 44 second video and it is brilliant. Make sure you read; as well as, listen...forward and backward.

This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old. The contest was titled
"u @ 50" by AARP.

This video won second place.. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant.

Take a minute and watch it.

Lost Generation

Very Belated Post from Connor's Mommy

Friday, February 12, 2010

Many times, I've thought to myself, it's just not fair. It's not fair that Tait and I had to lose our beloved son when he was only 8 years old. It's not fair what Connor had to endure - the pain, the hospital stays, the years of treatments. It's not fair that Kenzie, Carson and Mason have to grow up without their brother, ConCon. It's not fair that these children should have to battle this horrible, dreadful disease. It's just not fair! I want to demand what is fair and right. If everything were fair, everything would be great, right? As I continue to think about fairness, I realize there's another side to this coin. What would life really be like if everything was fair? What would I receive if I only got what was fair? What would I deserve? Would I deserve my great family of believers who have stood by us for 4½ years? Would I deserve all the blessings that God has poured out on me? Would I deserve to be the mother of such precious children? Did I deserve those 8½ cherished years with my beautiful, inspiring Connor? How did God choose to give me the honor of being Connor's mom? How did I win that lottery? I love the following quote. It reminds me to not focus on the "unfairness" that Connor is gone now, but to focus on the fact that he was mine for a time. "Don't cry because it's over, SMILE because it happened." If we really think about it, what do we really deserve, if life was truly fair. In a life of pure fairness, some of our pain would be gone, but then again, so would some of our blessings. A life of fairness would bring justice, but not mercy. It would bring judgment, not forgiveness. It would bring me ALL that I deserve, and when I think about my sinful life - I don't think I deserve all the blessings, forgiveness and mercy that have been poured out over me. Maybe, what is better than fairness, is GRACE. GRACE would ensure blessings when we don't' deserve them and would carry us through the dark moments. GRACE would ensure forgiveness when we don't' deserve it. GRACE would allow us to be rescued from our sin for ALL time. So, I've quit wishing for a life of fairness and I've started praying for an abundance of Grace! "Let us then approach the throne of GRACE with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find GRACE to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16 Please continue to pray for our sweet friends who are facing the harsh reality that God's Healing Touch is their one true hope, because modern medicine is not offering any right now... Mike Phillips, Westin Deitz and Carson Richardson (he's in Guatemala right now with Dr. Rodriguez). Always believing, Joy Cruse

Update on Nate-from his Daddy

"Nate continues to do well. This past week was his 4th birthday. What an amazing gift from God to celebrate another birthday with our little guy. God has been so merciful to us and we are continually reminded of His grace to us all. Today Nate was playing t-ball with his brothers (in his walker) and having so much fun. He is becoming quite the Wii expert and learning the alphabet. (just being a little boy).

I ask that you all pray for Matt Burpee, (a five year old in Heath battling the same cancer that Nate did). He has started chemo and I remember how sick and weak Nate got. It is so hard to watch your child suffer and know you cannot stop the pain or sickness. Please pray for him and his family as they fight this battle."

Church

Just thought I would post a few quick pics from church.

One of my dear friends, T, has seven beautiful children. They are all so incredibly polite, well-behaved, etc. They also love music. A few weeks ago, we look up on stage and this is one of her cuties pickin' up the guitar and going to town! Look at that leg propped up to hold it just right. He's into it and ready for a jam session! That's his brother on the left and one of our musicians on the right!!

Then, I look up and see these precious eyes!!

This is the daughter of one of our pastors. She is looking at a young man in our church, B. B was in high school, on stage, in a play, and had an aneurysm. He is now in a wheelchair, unable to really speak, etc., and he is part of our daily prayers for miracles. He can communicate through his eyes, though. Little Miss M here clearly knows that! I ask her if she was flirting with B and she said, "yes!"

Here's a cute pic of them together!!

Look at her snugglin' up to him!!

Quick Prayers

Could I get each of you to send up a quick prayer for this man!!

My amazing Hubby!!

He woke up this morning not feeling well. He canceled his first appointment, but went to the next and planned to be out working the rest of the day. However, he called around lunch and was feeling even worse. He almost "got sick" in his office. So, he has come home and I've got him tucked in bed. Mom made him some rice water to help his tummy. Once he wakes up we're going to try to help him a bit more.

Tonight is the awards ceremony/banquet for his office. It is also at a Flight Museum! So, he really doesn't want to miss it. Will you pray that he heals up quickly? Thank you!!!