T Bar M Travis

Those of you that have followed the blog for a while will remember Joey. We met Joey and his family one of the times I was in the hospital in Houston. He was in a chemical explosion. This is his pen. Joey was eventually blessed to meet Jesus. It was hard on all of us (I only met him once), but extra tough on his family. We became so close to all of them. We spent my 30th b-day with his family at Joey's funeral & his Mom & Dad even came to my hair cuttin' party and each cut a ponytail.

When Joey passed away, we told his wife that we wanted to send his kiddos to T Bar M! The oldest was the only one that was old enough to go this year! So, B & I had the privilege of picking Z up from the airport and taking him to camp!!!

The entrance to T Bar M Camp Travis.

My good lookin' man! Sorry couldn't help but post it.

B & Z, being cute!!

Let's go to camp!!!

The line of parents waiting to drop off their kiddos.

Z being introduced when he arrived!!

B & me at camp. Isn't the little stream/waterfall gorgeous? It's man made.

This is the view from Z's cabin.

You knew that God was an Aggie, right? WHOOP!

Z already having fun with his new friends!!

A quick good-bye hug!!

This is the head honcho of camp, JP!

He took us on a ride around the camp on a John Deere tractor-thingy. Ben got his face sliced with a branch that we ran into, but won't let me post the pic because he's tough & cool....; )

We had so much fun and heard from Z the next week and he had a blast and is already signed up for next year! You should sign up your kiddos to go, too!!

Update on Nate

Jackie sent this update for us all. Please continue your prayers.

"We went to the doctor today and really don't have any answers for Friday's MRI. Children's along with St. Jude reviewed the MRI. Nate will continue with the same course of treatment and he will have another MRI in a month or two and the doctors will watch for any change in the spots. Dr. Bowers nurse, Melissa, worked very hard today to get some of Nate's new chemo prescriptions approved and we are very thankful for her efforts and success. We know you all are praying for our little guy and ask that you continue to do so.

On another note, last night two Make A Wish volunteers came to our house to visit with Nate. He was asked, "where would you go if you could choose any place in the world." He pondered for about 20 seconds and replied, "ummm McDonalds." Wes and I got a kick out of this and the volunteer decided we might need to help him decide.

We love you all and appreicate your support and prayers."

Connor

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 9:54 PM CDT

We've seen some small improvements. We've seen some visible changes in his swelling. Still praying for more to come! He still has about 20 pounds of water weight on him (mainly on his legs and lower abdomen). When he was in Plano Presby 3 1/2 weeks ago, his resting heart rate was in the 140's. It is now in the 120's. These could be signs that the tumor is softening or getting smaller, which is relieving pressure on his lungs and blood vessels.

Also, he's started asking for food again. We usually have to force him to eat, but lately he's been asking for food several times a day. Granted, they are small meals (only about 6-12 bites at each sitting), but still progress. He's been more talkative and wants to get out of the house every day - even if it is just going to Target. Connor will need blood tomorrow based on the blood test he did today, but his white count is continuing to rise. The normal range for your white count is roughly 5,000-12,000. Connor's was holding at 24,000 for the last month and now it is 30,000. The immunotherapy is definitely stimulating his white count. We are praising God for the little things.

Thank you so much for the prayers! Nicole hosted Connor's prayer meeting today and about twenty friends (and new faces) came to pray for Connor. We are so touched and humbled by the outpouring of love from all of you.

Continue the prayer requests.
1. Continue to pray for the swelling to decrease
2. Tumor to shrink
3. Breathing to continue to get better
4. Appetite to increase
5. Restful, uninterrupted sleep
6. Back pain to ease

The past two months have been especially trying on Connor and our family. Often, we struggle for the strength to just continue through another day. At times such as these, we turn to the one true source of hope, strength and peace - our God! This devotional from Sarah Young in her book "Jesus Calling" is such a beautiful reminder of clinging to Him in the daily struggles in life.

"Rest with me a while. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey.

“I designed time to be a protection for you. You couldn't bear to see all your life at once. Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you. Refresh yourself in My company, breathing deep draughts of My Presence. The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment. I am with you, watching over you wherever you go."

Still believing,
JOY

concert & snakes

Again, I'm trying to stay caught up (or, really I need to catch up)...

A few weeks ago, we went the Concert by the Lake. We were so excited when we got to see J & his Mom, M. His Mom and B worked together at the dental office B worked at a few years ago...J was in a terrible accident November 2007. His girlfriend was in the car with him. Sadly, she lost her life, but we still have J.

Hank & J getting some good cuddle time.

Rudder wanted in on the cuddle time, too!!

If you'll recall, we had a run in with a snake at the end of May. On our way home a week or so later, this was in our alley.

I actually got out of the car myself to take the pictures. It was so disgusting. We hope to never see another snake. Two in less than two weeks is enough....
Ben didn't use a shovel and an ax like he did last time, but I believe with the help of the Michelin's, he took care of the snake for everyone.

Connor Update

Saturday, June 27

I had a conversation with Dr. Rodriguez. I told him that it was so hard on Connor to be in Guatemala, away from his family and friends. I was also concerned about what we would do if we needed other medical care there. After a short conversation, he offered to make his medicine in pill form so we could take it home with us and Connor could finish the treatment here. He has done this in a few other cases. What a blessing. What a wonderful gift from God. We picked up the pills Tuesday and flew home on Wednesday. It is so good to be home and we are getting used to being home around all the other kids. Solitude has been replaced with sweet chaos.

Connor is so happy to be home. We had his friend, Mollie Claire, over for dinner Wednesday night with her family. He's had his friend, Sayers, over to play video games and we're going to play wii at his house tonight. He also got to see the Transformer movie. We have some fun lined up for him this week at home. I can tell his spirits are lifted. The only problem is that he gets bored. His body limits him from doing the fun activities his mind wants to do.

Please continue your prayers...
1. tumor shrinkage
2. swelling to reduce
(He has started getting rid of the water by sweating it out. Will it reduce the swelling or is it just the body's way of getting rid of water when it cannot hold anymore in. I'm praying that it will start reducing the swelling.)
3. breathing to get better
4. back pain to get better
5. appetite to get better - it's holding steady

I love this devotional from Frances J. Roberts

My Healing Power

O My child, take My hand and I will lead you out of the valley. Darkness and shadows are behind you, but light and sunshine are ahead; for I shall bring you into new life and give health as you have never had it before. I will give vigor and radiant joy. Did I not promise to give "abundant life"? You shall forget the days of illness in the joy of victory; for I not only give you a wonderful victory but I, your Lord and Saviour, shall Myself become your victory. I have defeated already the foe that wars against you, and My personal experience of triumph I share with you, and we shall rejoice together, for you are My favored child.

Be not afraid with any fear. My love surrounds you, and My power preserves and protects you. Lean on Me and trust Me wholly. You will find Me strong and faithful, and wil be lifted into My arms of unfathomable peace.

I will give you the strength to witness to others of My healing power. You shall be a messenger of hope to those who despair, and you shall bear a word of faith to those who doubt. Your life shall be in My hand, for I have delivered you from destruction and have bound you to My heart in a covenenat of holy love. My Spirit shall be upon you, and My blessing go with you wherever you go.

You shall know joy such as the world can never give. There is a rest and a joy which I have reserved for those who listen to My voice and follow in obedience. My way is not difficult; it is blessed. It will not be lonely, for I will be wonderfully near. It is a life of joy, and this joy shall truly be your source of energy, your strength and your health."

This is my prayer.
Joy Cruse

T Bar M Sports Camp

Once we left T & L's wedding weekend, we drove to New Braunfels for opening weekend of T Bar M Sports Camp. B spent 15 summers there. It's a special place. B refers to it as HOME. The camp director is like a second Dad to him.

Mom has heard a million stories about T Bar M, but has never had the chance to see it. So, we all went to experience the excitement. Here she is just getting to relax on the "porch" swing and take it all in...

He's back home!

Everyone getting their kiddos to their cabins.

One of the sports fields.

Yes, we know better than to write our names in public places.

However, he did many years ago and it's still there!

All of the deer that are on site are amazing. It's hard to believe there are so many with so much activity going on there. I had so much fun snapping pics non-stop of the deer.

Here they are peeking through the trees.

Crossing the street...they didn't look both ways.

Just hanging out.

Turn around, the camera is over here.

We had so much fun and it was great for Mom to get to experience the joy of T Bar M. If you have kiddos or friends that have kiddos, check it out. Send them to camp. It's so worth it and so special. I actually came to know the Lord at Sky Ranch (a summer camp in Van, Tx) many years ago. Just think, you could be a part of planting that seed and helping to create that special relationship between a kiddo and Jesus!!!

Update on Nate

From Nate's Dad:

Nate's MRI came back today with 3 spots on the brain that had not been there before. Dr. B is not saying that it is cancer, just that it was looked at for a long time by many well qualified people, and no one honestly knows what it is. The spinal tap shows no sign of cancer, which is great, but leaves a mystery. He overnighted the images to St Judes in Memphis and a team of neuroradiologists will try and figure out what the three small spots are hopefully by this Monday or Tuesday. Of course this is not what we wanted to hear, but we know that God is good and is with Nate. Please pray that whatever it is will not harm him and that Nate's brain is protected from all abnormalities. We thank you all for the prayers and please keep spreading the word, Nate needs your prayers as much now as ever. God bless you all. --Nate's Dad

Beautiful Wedding

At the end of May, we got to go to Marble Falls for a beautiful wedding at Horseshoe Bay. Our dear friends, the H's, have three kiddos. Being an only child, they were like my brothers and sister growing up...

We weren't able to go to K's (the daughter) wedding in Vegas, with all that was going on with my health. So, we didn't want to miss T's wedding!

It was a beautiful drive and such a gorgeous area. The wedding and reception were both outdoors. It started to rain right before the wedding started and then stopped just in time for the beautiful bride, L, to walk down the aisle.

These are pics from the reception.

B & Me by the water.

Up close...yikes to the squinty eyes.

One of the beautiful views at the reception.

The new Mr. & Mrs. having their first dance.

Look at those eyes...I think he likes her!!! ; )

This was a friend of theirs that sang for their first dance.
Apparently, he is famous, but I missed his name.
If you know who he is, let me know.

Another beautiful view.

Watching the sunset!

We left Marble Falls Sunday morning and drove to T Bar M...that will be the next post. Mom got to see T Bar M for the first time!!!!

Nate-Thursday Night

This is from Nate's Dad:

Nate has an important MRI tomorrow morning to check and see if the chemo has kept the cancer away. This is big not only for us but also for research. Please pray that no cancer is in Nate at all, we know that this could help many other children in the future.

Fight Connor, Fight!!

“Fight, Connor, Fight!” love, dad

Monday, June 22, 2009

I have not written the update in some time because Joy is incredible with words, and right now I ask specifically for you to pray for my wife as she hovers over our son 24/7. She’s frail, emotionally worn out and is fighting the good fight for our son. Pray for Connor to continue to increase his appetite, for the swelling in his lower body to recede. Also pray that this tumor continues to soften up. There are many battles inside this war, and Connor has many to fight – his appetite, swelling, water retention, discomfort, pain – but he continues to survive and make improvements inch by inch. Remember, it’s been 31 days since we were told he had 2 – 4 weeks to live, and he’s a lot better than he was a month ago.

Also, thank you for your continued support, prayer, emails, notes. I want to specifically thank all the people feeding us and helping me take care of the house here in Frisco as my wife lives in Guatemala. Thank you so much also for the airline miles that have been donated to help us fly family and friends back and forth to give Joy emotional support.

We’re way over 220 nights in the hospital, 40 plus blood transfusions, 15-20 platelet transfusions, 25 rounds of chemo, 13 or so surgeries, 2 bone marrow transplants, with visits to Boston, New York, Houston, Dallas and now Guatemala. I continue to be amazed by how strong my son is and how my family is holding up, and that is with your prayers.

Below is a journal entry I wrote to Connor on day 27 four years ago that I read to him while he slept one night in mid July 2005. Many people have asked for me to repost this.

Sometimes you must remind those who are suffering from this disease, and their families suffering along with them, that this is not just suffering, a bad event, or a serious illness… IT IS A FIGHT. I hope it encourages you today and remember to celebrate life, for life is a blessing, and to fight for what you value.

Dear Connor,

As you lay in bed for another night, it’s hard to close the house down without you. With your bed neatly made, it just doesn’t seem the same without you in our home. And each night, as I kiss you goodbye, I whisper a couple of these in your ear each night: “Fight, Connor, fight. Fight for life. Remember the smell of eggs cooking in the morning with coffee brewing. Remember the smell of a washed shirt, or the loud music in Mommy’s car while everyone’s talking over each other as you drive to school. Remember fun playgrounds. Remember your church. The taste of donuts in your mouth. Remember a hug from your mom. Remember the anticipation of waking up Christmas morning and running downstairs with your siblings to see presents. Remember the smell of Mexican food. Or the burn of a coke in your mouth. Remember naps with Daddy, and the smell of fresh grass. Remember the feel of snow on your nose. Or the sound of the snap of a plastic sword as we fight and attack each other’s forts. Remember your brother Carson and his love and admiration for you. Remember your grandma and grandpa in Oklahoma with their cool ranch and riding the gators and fishing and hunting with Daddy up there, hiding in deer stands and seeing the wheat grow, a wild turkey, or even a wild pig. Remember Aunt Cody as she takes great care of you while Mommy and Daddy are gone. And tickle fights with cousin Lexie. The smell of a hot tub as it bubbles and steams in your nose. Remember your sister Mackenzie with scooter rides and video games and watching movies together. Remember the hot summer sun, your bike, riding in the Land Rover to Sonic with loud rock music blaring. Remember the big giraffe in our house and showing all your friends. Or riding in grandpa’s tractor. Remember, Connor, life is good and fun. Like sitting in grandpa’s lap, riding a bulldozer. Remember slurpees and nachos and cheese sticks, and your mom telling you to eat your vegetables. Remember family night and family dodgeball. Remember days on your motorcycle chasing your brother in his car. Remember going to Dallas Stars and Dallas Mavericks. Playing hide and seek with your neighbors, with the feel of losing your breath as you run away. Remember movies and Sponge Bob and baths with Carson. Connor, don’t look back and let time stand still. It’s time to live and go forward. It’s time to live and see the people who love you and your family that surrounds you. Remember the dream to go back to Disney World and hunt in Africa with Daddy one day. The dream of playing on a beach, or playing football and basketball, of your first concert, of driving your first car or motorcycle, of shooting your first deer, of your first kiss, and the wonderful dizzy feeling you get when you see your bride walking down the aisle to marry you.

Connor, we are ready for you to come home and be cancer-free.

Connor, I love you.

Daddy

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

May Trip to Houston & Aggieland! WHOOP!!

I had a follow up doc appt. in Houston in May. So, we made a bit of a weekend out of it. First, we got to see Miss A. This sweet girl (now woman) was in a Bible Study that I got to lead when we lived in The Woodlands. I got to hang out with a bunch of really cool high school girls and talk about Jesus! Now, they are college graduates. I am getting too old!

We met at Starbucks and got to hang out and catch up for a little bit.

Then, I remembered that my favorite hair stylist was in College Station. I was in desperate need of a haircut. So, I looked in my phone and, sure enough, eight years later her number was still saved. She was so sweet and worked me in that evening to trim the mullet that I seem to get every few weeks and all of this scraggly stuff I never had to deal with when my hair was long.

See if you can tell a difference in the two pics. The one above was before, the ones below are after!! I can't tell much of a difference and that's what I like. I want my hair to grow back out and so I don't want the trims to be major hair cuts, just clean ups so that it can keep growing!!!

We met back up with Miss A, and her friend T, for a little Fightin' Texas Aggie Baseball.
I got to see all of my old co-horts from the days when I worked at the Athletic Dpmt.
It was fun to see everyone.

Here we are: B, T, A, & me.

This is the family we stayed with while we were in Aggieland.
They are longtime friends of B's family.
We had a wonderful time.
They were so sweet to let us stay at their house.

On the way to my doc appt., we got to stop in and see A and her three kiddos.
Such beautiful princesses and Mr. J, "riding in to save the day."
We had fun saying hi to them. We miss them so much.

Not much to report on the doc visit. He wanted to know how the diet is going. I've been able to reduce my meds, but still having about the same # of seizures that I was having on incredibly high doses of the meds. In a way, that is good. I would rather be on less medication. So, we believe this means the diet is working. Just a bit slower than what we wanted. The doc wanted us to go ahead and consider other surgical options and other meds incase the diet doesn't work. We really want to give this diet more of a chance.

He also admitted to us that he hasn't had a lot of experience with this diet, he just felt it would be one of the best options for me and had seen some success with some of his patients. We were glad that he talked us into the diet. When I was first diagnosed, I ask my first neuro if we could try the diet. He said, "only if you want to drink vegetable oil for the rest of your life." So, when my current doc brought the diet up, I told him I didn't want to drink vegetable oil for the rest of my life. He told me that wasn't the case and convinced us to try it.

Though it has been a difficult road figuring out what I am able to eat and how to balance the day, I much prefer the seizures being controlled by food rather than medicine. They also say that after a couple of years on the diet, you are able to stop all meds and eventually stop the diet. This is what we want. I don't want to depend on dangerous meds for the rest of my life.

So, my doc agreed to let me keep going with the diet a bit longer to see what results we have as we progress. Please pray that we start to see major changes.

M, who was in our wedding, wasn't due for a few more weeks. However, we got a call that her sweet little one had arrived early. She is a Neurosurgery PA in the same hospital where I had my surgery. So, as soon as my doc appt. was over we got to go see her & love on her little girl, Miss C. She was in the NICU, but is now home doing well!

Sock Monkey had to go on the trip with us! Just hangin' around...

On the way home, we stopped in The Woodlands to see our first home purchase.
Lots of memories in this house (if you'd believe it, I recall many things in this house, despite all the memory loss).

Of course, we had to stop at Sam's on our way home and say Howdy to our sweet friends!

Summer Nights

I told you all that I had a lot of catching up to do on these posts. So, here is a start (again)!

Our front porch has some wicker chairs on it that we've never been able to get to because of all of the shrubs in the flower bed. Therefore, the chairs on our porch have been more decoration than anything. However, about a month or so ago, my hubby came up with a great idea. He successfully uprooted one of the bushes and moved it to the front of the bed, creating a pathway to get to the porch.


We usually don't keep the chairs stacked like this...makes relaxing a tad difficult!

My good lookin' man, working hard!!
Here is the pathway he created.
We had some random stones in the back from different projects, etc. So, my big, strong hubby brought them around to the front to use as stepping stones.

You can see here where he has laid them out to make a perfect walkway to get to the porch.



We absolutely love it. Now, we are able to go outside each evening, sit on the porch, and just have good hang time together. It has been so enjoyable. The dogs love it, too. Hank lays in the yard and watches everyone as they go on their walks. Rudder hides behind us, but seems to enjoy being out there, as well.

I love my hubby and his ability to do just about anything!! He sure does bless our family!!

Another Connor Update

Wednesday, June 17, 12:41p.m.

Thanks for all your prayers this week. Connor´s wheezing is gone. He´s breathing better, but still likes the oxygen at night. There are more signs that the medicine is working, but still not any discernible shrinkage. He still has the swelling, too. Now that the wheezing is gone, I´m just waiting for God to remove another symptom. Please continue to pray for shrinkage of the tumor and the symptoms to be gone.

Connor´s bloodwork was checked today and his bloodwork looked better - not dehydrated, his albumin is coming up, as are his platelets. Kidney and liver functions are still fine. White count is very high due to the medicine stimulating his immune system. Go immune system, go!!!!

I wanted to share this devotional from Frances J. Roberts from her book ¨"On the Highroad of Surrender." It is beautiful and so pertinent to our situation.

"Be not weary in well doing. It is your Father´s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. (Luke 12:32) Do not be disheartened if it seems to be delayed in coming. Lo, He is not slack concerning His promises, as some men count slackness. His times are not your times, and His patience endures forever. He can wait and not be anxious. While you see delay, He sees His will being performed in ways not discernible to your eye. What you see as standing still, He sees unfolding. It is like the rose that opens, but the motion is imperceptible to the human eye.

Rest in Him. He is surely bringing to pass His perfect will in and through the entire situation, and it is doing a unique work in many different lives, as they are touched and affected by the action.

Be still and wait. You shall know that the Lord your God, He it is who fights for you, and He will do a miracle before your eyes if you will but trust Him completely and cease to be anxious. What others are doing is as nothing compared to what He is doing and is GOING to do.}

REJOICE! Let this be a day of gladness and of jubilation, for our God is mighty, and His hand is working a victory!"

Psalm 31:15-24

Please continue to pray for our friends, Cody Novak, Caden Ledbetter and Carson Richardson as they continue to fight their own battles against cancer.

Still believing,
Joy Cruse

Connor

Saturday, June 13

Tait and I have had a good week with Connor. Connor has been coughing up a lot of phlegm so his wheezing is much better. Breathing a little easier too. He still has the swelling. He continues to have the burning/itching sensation on the tumor - side effects of the medicine, which is a sign it is working. Praise God for that. We continue to wait for the shrinking.

Thanks everyone for all your prayers. We have been covered in God's peace and grace all week. I know that all of you have been faithful prayer warriors for Connor, so I want to ask for a concentrated effort on Sunday and Monday. I know that some of you have already done this. Deb Blevons with Northwestern Mutual has asked several of you to pray on an hourly schedule on Sunday, Debby Parker has asked some to pray at 7am everyday and Nicole Arenas has set up a prayer meeting for Connor every other week. WE are blessed by all your prayers.

I found this story of King Hezekiah in II Chronicles 20. It is a great example of corporate prayer. When the King found out a huge enemy was coming against him, he asked all the people to fast and pray in order to defeat the enemy. The King said, "We have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon the Lord."

The prophet Jehaziel then spoke the words of the Lord. "You will not need to fight this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you. Do not fear or be dismayed." He told them to stand still and sing His praises. (That was his strategy for fighting the enemy.) The King appointed those who should sing to the Lord and those who should praise His beauty and holiness. They went out before the army saying " Praise the Lord, for his mercy endures forever." The Lord delivered them from their enemy.

This week, please pray for Connor and sing God's praises. Thank Him for His mercy, grace, provision, strength and peace that He has provided us during this trial. Like King Hezekiah and the people of Israel witnessed, may God also deliver Connor from his enemy, cancer.

Thanks for your combined efforts in prayer this week.

Always believing,

Joy

Wedding

About a month ago, my sweet friend, S, got married. Isn't she a precious bride? I think she was excited to get married.

First dance with her new hubby!

Yep, there was a mechanical bull to ride at her reception.

This is her daughter,
Miss M (you've seen her in other posts) and her cousin.

The best part of the night. B & Miss M have so much fun together. You might remember when she came over and B taught her how to find the planets, stars, etc. He even gave her his telescope from childhood that night. It's been an instant love connection ever since.

So, Miss M got to dance the night away with my hubby! Aren't they precious?

One shot with the beautiful bride!!

It was nice to get out of the house and do something that seemed social. The grocery store seems like my social hour of the week since I'm not allowed to drive yet. So, this was a fun evening. I didn't have any seizures that day and I even got to dance with my cute hubby!!