And He said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

Monday, November 23, 2009

What's worse?

From Connor's Mommy:

Monday, November 23, 2009

joy journal Before Connor passed and even after, I felt like there could be nothing worse than losing a child. I've had many people tell me they feel the same way, and I have to admit that I can't imagine worse grief than this. It is heart-wrenching and we cannot get through this without God's Grace. That being said, I have changed my mind. I believe there is something worse... spending a life/eternity without knowing God. I can't imagine facing the trials of this world without the peace, strength and comfort only He can provide. What would life be like without His promise for a hope and future? Jeremiah 29:11

Like anyone who suffers loss, I would love to reverse my situation and bring my Connor back. In fact, Carson and Mason were just talking about that in the car last week. Mason said we should just buy Connor back. How I wish it were that simple. We even talked about what we would do if we had Connor back for a day. That was fun daydreaming. But, we are deceived by our longings for what we once had, because we cannot have it that way forever, even if we regain what we lost for just a little while.

I have come to realize that the greatest enemy we face is death itself, which claims everyone and everything. No miracle can ultimately save us from it. A miracle is therefore only a temporary solution. We really need more than a miracle - we need a resurrection to make life eternally new. We long for a life in which death is finally and ultimately defeated.

Thank you, God, that death does not have the final word; life does. Jesus' death and resurrection made it possible. He now has the authority to give life to those who want and need it. In the New Testament, there are countless stories of Jesus performing miracles; healing many people. But, eventually, all those people still faced death. In other words, Jesus' miracles were not the ultimate reason for His coming. His great victory was not His miracles, but His resurrection. Jesus guarantees that the last chapter of the human story is not death, but life. All tears and pain and sorrow will be swallowed up in everlasting life and pure, inextinguishable joy.

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for that beautiful gift. Even though I feel the pain of my present circumstances, which reminds me of what I have lost; yet I can still hope for future victory and a future spent with Him (and Connor).

"Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us. For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love." Romans 8:37-38

Here are the words from Chris Tomlin's "I will rise", which was sung at Connor's service.

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

Always believing,

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