And He said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9

Saturday, October 1, 2011

FW: Joy's Journal

Joy's Journal
Friday, September 30, 2011



For my journal entry this time, I wanted to write a letter to Connor to commemorate his 11th birthday. I wanted to share this letter with MacKenzie, Carson and Mason to help remember Connor on his special day.


Dear Connor,


It's your birthday this Sunday and your third birthday in heaven. Happy 11th birthday!  I can't imagine how fantastic your birthday celebration is in heaven, or maybe everyday is like a celebration there. We will be thinking of you and missing you on your special day.


We can't even imagine what your days are like in heaven. We continue to keep up the good fight down here. Mackenzie is growing up into a beautiful, mature, independent young lady. I remember the days when she used to dress you in her princess costumes. Mason remembers you often.  He says  "I miss Connor. He was such a good brother. He loved me". What a blessing from God that he still remembers you, especially since he was only three when you went to heaven.  Carson really had the hardest time dealing with your absence, but I know that God is slowly moving him through his grief.


God is also carrying your dad and me. I can't imagine getting through one day of this without Him.   We are trying to make the best of the situation - believing the promise "all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to his purpose". Romans 8:28. We are growing TeamConnor to continue your legacy and try to make your wish come true - that know other child would have to go through what you did. We introduced Connor the caterpillar to hopefully someday be the national icon for childhood cancer to raise awareness. We will be releasing our devotional book and Your Childrens book next year. We want to spread God's message of hope to so many. We pray that God would bless all of these endeavors.


The other day, I was listening to the song "The Words I Would Say" by Sidewalk Prophets. The words echoed what my heart wanted to say to you. If I could go back in time and I had you again for a moment on May 15, 2005 (diagnosis day), these are the words I would say.


Be strong in the Lord

And never give up hope

You're gonna do great things

I already know

God's got His hands on you

So don't live life in fear

Forgive and forget

But don't forget why you're here

Take your time and pray

And thank God for each day

His love will find a way

These are the words I would say


The funny thing is - I think you already knew all this. The way you lived your life exemplified this. I'm still in awe at how you journeyed so well, son. We live each day trying to honor your memory as we keep walking with God and sharing your story of hope with others.  Hope you're proud of us.


Always believing,





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