#healingforHaylie-Post 3

Update on Haylie - Tues June 5
We had another great night. Yay!!! She actually slept from 10:30pm-2:30am this morning!! She woke up at 4:15am and wanted a salad. She settled for a few bites of a fiber bar and went back to sleep until 6:40am when she wanted the salad again. 😋. We had to wait until 7:00 when food services finally opened. She finally got ranch dressing and had her salad for breakfast! And thank you to Jamie for free bird burritos for lunch yesterday and Tonni for an amazing dinner! It was such a blessing to have a delicious meal. I didn’t even realize how much we all needed it.
We met with her oncologist this morning and found out that her white blood count is now down to 8,500! The goal is still 0 because most of her cells are the bad T-cells. Her bone marrow will have to recover and then it can start producing healthy white blood cells again. So right now, her immunity is extremely low so we ask that if anyone is sick or even thinks they might be sick, please do NOT come visit. The doctors require everyone to wash their hands and use sanitizer and preferably a mask when you visit. Also, flowers and plants are forbidden on our floor and stuffed animals are discouraged because of risk of infection. She gets tired really easily so we ask you to please text me before visiting so I can let you know if it’s an ok time. We are still learning and getting adjusted to what will be our new normal for awhile.
I’ve been trying to write this post since 7am but have had a constant stream of doctors, nurses, phone calls and texts. Sorry if I am not able to respond, we are still a bit overwhelmed. Michael spent the first night at home so he could get some rest since he returned to work yesterday.
Haylie’s hemoglobin is reallly low so doctors said they will be doing a blood transfusion either today or tomorrow which should help her feel better. Also, I’ve had several people ask about donating blood. I believe some friends are setting up a blood drive soon. We were told to go through Carter’s blood care. Haylie is B- but it’s ok if you are not the same blood type because you can donate in honor of Haylie and she will get credit for a discount on her blood transfusions, and there are lots of other people in need of blood and it can be a lifesaving blessing for others too. We will be in touch with more info about the blood drive.
Prayer requests
1) Continued prayer for strength and healing for Haylie and for her to stay healthy from infection.
2) That Michael, Brennen and I all stay healthy so that we can be around her. (If we get sick, we will be quarantined from her)
3) That my eye would get better. I think I may have scratched my lens. 😬
4) Prayer for her platelets to increase. She is now at an 18.
5) Prayer that the blood drive be a blessing for others as well as Haylie.
Thank you to everyone. We are beyond blessed by the most amazing friends. We can feel your love and prayers. I’m learning to choose faith over fear. God is going before us and He has got this.
#healingforHaylie

Another update - June 5th
We had some fun visitors today! Blair the therapy dog came by along with our awesome teachers Mrs P, Mr Mordecai, and Mr Dunbar and our sweet friend Morgan and her mom.
We loved our visitors but today has been a really tough day. We knew we would have these occasionally. Yesterday was another round of chemo and it knocked her down pretty hard today. She is requesting no more visitors at this time until she can get some strength back.

Her blood levels are really low and she is expected to get a blood transfusion tonight or tomorrow so hopefully that will get her some energy back. Thank you everyone for understanding. Please keep her in your prayers.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or troubled for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
#HealingforHaylie

#homerunsforHaylie

So proud of Brennen and his Bobcat baseball team. He said he was going to play hard and win for his sister, Haylie. He hit a home run and they brought home the championship! The best part was the team said a prayer for Haylie after each game. We are so blessed by an absolute amazing group of friends. My heart overflows. Congrats Bobcats! And thank you Stephanie for taking Brennen to all the games this weekend.

https://www.facebook.com/melissa.m.geraci/videos/10213681919097071/
https://www.facebook.com/melissa.m.geraci/videos/10213501304101809/
https://www.facebook.com/melissa.m.geraci/videos/10213501295501594/

#healingforhaylie our boys praying for our girl Haylie! They were ‘playing for her today’!
Bobcats 8U Advanced

Praying for Haylie!!!

https://www.gofundme.com/5mqf14o

#healingforHaylie-Post 2

June 3, 5p
Update #4
Today has been a very good day! Her white blood counts are down to 50,000! She started eating and has gotten some strength back. The doctors saw her this morning and are very happy with her progress. She was disconnected from several of the monitors so she has many less wires today. She even went to the playroom today for about 30 min.
Haylie had a good night, or as well as can be expected. They are pumping her full of fluids to try and flush the chemo out so she needs to potty about every 40-60 mins. That is a great thing, but it makes for a terrible nights rest. We are exhausted but doing better. We have had several small victories today and we will celebrate them.

Thank you for the continued prayers. And a big thank you to Ella for the awesome sleeping mask, she loves it for her naps and the blanket kept me from freezing last night! And thank you Ashley for the foam pad to sleep on. It makes the hard couch so much better. Here are some pictures from today.

2 of our great doctors

Nanny and Pops came to visit

Going for a walk

She loves the sleeping mask her friend Ella brought her

Making a craft of Peanut our dog

June 4 9:00am ·

Update #5
Praise God, we had a great night. Since they removed the monitors, we didn’t have the alarms going off all night when Haylie’s heartbeat would reach very very low levels. The drs said her ekg was normal and it was all caused by the steroids so we shouldn’t be panicked. They also reduced the fluids in her IV so we made it for 2 hours stretches instead of every 20-40 mins like the last few days. I actually got a few hours sleep and I feel so much better.
Prayers for today
#1- Today she will begin her next chemo treatment, so please pray that her body responds well.
#2- That Haylie’s white blood count continues to come down and her platelets increase. Currently due to her blood type they don’t have any platelets here and they have to have them transferred from Parkland.
#3- Michael is returning to work today. Please pray he has a good day with lack of sleep and that Haylie and I do well without his extra help today.
#4- My right eye is super blurry, I think it is just from lack of sleep, but please pray I can see normal again.
#5- Haylie’s jaw is very painful and she is having trouble eating. We were told it is a side effect of one of the steroids she is on. Please pray the pain goes away.
#6- Pray for strength for Michael, Haylie and me and for God to be glorified in all circumstances.
Today this is our mountain. We have seen God move mountains and we know He can do it again. 

#healingforHaylie-Post 1

This first post might be a bit long, so please forgive me.  However, I want for each of you to get all of the details that we are working with....

The Geraci family is a dear family to us.  We were in the same Life Group with them at church, we got to love on Melissa & the kiddos while Michael served our country, then they became our next door neighbors for a little bit!!!!  They no longer live in Rockwall & so we miss them, but these updates have been posted on fb and I thought I would share them with each of you since y'all have proven to be incredible prayer warriors.

May 30 at 8:14am ·

Please say a prayer for Haylie. She is having to miss her last 5th grade field trip picnic because she is having major stomach pains and has been for a while now. Her doctor thinks it could be her gall bladder. We are trying to get an appointment with Children’s Hospital asap.

May 30 at 7:28pm ·

Update on Haylie.
Thank you to everyone for your prayers and messages of support! We are so thankful that we were able to see the GI doctor at Children’s Hospital today. We were told that we couldn’t get an appointment until Oct 11 so getting in today was a real blessing! We were also able to get a sonogram done today after she started throwing up at the doctors office. The sonogram showed a very swollen liver and spleen. We are still awaiting the lab results from her blood tests but should get more answers from that tomorrow. They took 9 viles of blood, the absolute max they could take with her weight, so we better get some answers! It was a bit difficult and she was passing out since she hadn’t had anything to eat due to the sonogram. They also found that she has a virus that was causing the red bruise rash, fever and chills. Her gall bladder actually seems fine which is good news. She feels much better now than she did last night or this morning so we are thankful for that. We are optimistic that she will be able to make it to her 5th grade graduation on Friday.

May 31 at 2:41pm ·

Please say a prayer for Haylie again. The dr called and said her labs came back critical and instructed me to get to the ER right now. We just got here and got checked in. I don’t have many answers right now but they have been amazing here so I know we are in good hands.

June 1 at 12:48am ·

Update on Haylie
I’ve had so many people asking for an update so I figured this was the best way to get out.
Haylie has been diagnosed with leukemia. This is a really hard post to write. Currently her levels are extremely high and we are in the ICU. Right now we have more questions than we do answers.

It has been a really long hard day for us. As I look at the time, I realize this is now day 2 for us. By God grace, have made it through day 1. We have a long road ahead of us but are so thankful to have some answers as to why Haylie has been feeling so bad lately. We can now work on a solution. This diagnosis is not an easy one, but we serve a mighty God who is bigger than cancer. Right now we will take this one day at a time.
We have been so well taken care of so far at the hospital. I’m still processing everything and honestly I’m absolutely exhausted. We are so thankful for all the prayers and ask for you to continue to pray for us. This is so much bigger than I can handle so I’ve given it to God and He will go before us. We stand firm and I will praise Him even in the storm.
Haylie is so amazing. No words can describe how much I love this child. She is still so sweet and positive even during this very difficult time. She is a fighter and I know we will beat this.
We are a bit overwhelmed with things, so we ask you not to contact us directly right now. We have an amazing group of family and friends and we will be reaching out to you for support in the coming days. Please keep us in your prayers because we know the power of prayer. Love you all. I will try to post more updates when I get a chance.

 June 1 at 1:42pm ·

Update on Haylie #2
So much has happened in the last 12 hours I’m trying to figure out where to start. The doctors have identified which type of leukemia Haylie has, T-cell ALL. That is not what we were hoping for as it is the most aggressive and does not tend to respond to chemo as well as the others so she will require a very aggressive treatment. We will be required to stay in the hospital for the first month of treatment right now. They also found a large mass above Haylie’s heart which has brought some complications. We are so thankful that it has not affected her breathing. She just received a picc line to start the chemo. It was a little scary because of the location of the mass. They had to do it in radiology to get a clear picture and go around the mass. They were not able to put her under or use sedation because they were afraid the mass would block her airway. She did awesome! I knew she was tough but she is showing such strength right now.

She had a good night last night. Her white blood cell counts were dangerously high and kept climbing during the night, so she was watched very closely. Thankfully they have started going down with the treatment so we won’t have to do the emergency procedure. Praise God! We can feel the prayers! She just received a platelet transfusion because her platelets were also dangerously low. We are so thankful to be at an amazing hospital with doctors who are on top of her care.
I’ve always told Haylie that God has big plans for her and will use her in big and mighty ways. So this is chapter 1 of our story. We look forward to see how God will use Haylie and show Himself mighty. Day one and here comes the Son!

June 2 at 3:32pm ·

Update #3
Prayer warriors please lift Haylie up. I feel like we are in a spiritual battle right now and it can only be won on our knees.
I wrote that about 3:00am when she was struggling to get enough oxygen. It was a long night but God is faithful. Her oxygen alarm kept going off when her levels got low and we would have to wake her up to take deep breaths and reposition her. The nurse finally put her on oxygen when we couldn’t stay above 90%. She is doing much better now and we are currently at 98%! She is being pumped full of fluids to flush her system so she has to get up to go to the bathroom all the time. Sometimes we got up every 20 mins, once she made it 90 mins. We are getting good at unhooking the machines and rolling the IV pole to the bathroom. We got to see our nurse very regularly last night.

Haylie had a really rough time with muscle spasms in her legs around 9pm. She was kicking uncontrollably at times. The doctors couldn’t figure out a reason and ran blood tests to screen her levels which all came back ok. I finally called my parents who started to pray and finally the kicking stopped and she fell asleep. The nurse even said it had to be Jesus because it stopped the second they finished praying.
Ok...it is now 3:00pm and so much has happened again that I haven’t had time to post this. Huge praises! Today has been a great day with lots of victories. Her white blood count dropped from 385,000 yesterday to 177,000 this morning to 85,000 by mid morning. Since we are below 100,000 we got to transfer out of ICU!!! When we arrived at the ER her count was 270,000. The normal range is 4000-10,000.
We just got moved to our new room on the oncology floor. Doctors are amazed at how fast she is progressing. I’m not because we serve such a big God. Prayers are being answered!
We are overwhelmed by the love and support we are receiving. We have had many precious friends visiting us and bringing us food. Jamie King, Ashley Hartzog and my sister Stephanie, I might never be able to properly thank you for all you are doing for us. You have helped pick us up and helped carry us through.
Thank you for all the encouraging words and Facebook messages. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to respond to many texts or messages. Hopefully we will get some more rest in our new room and I can post updates more often. I’m posting a few pictures of our journey thus far.
Please keep praying, they are being answered.

On our way to get our picc line put in.

Family visiting!

Friend visiting!

Friend and Daddy!

BFF!!

Bustin’ out of ICU. Our nurses were great!

Finally getting some rest in our new room.

A post that brings me great joy!!

December 8, 2006-December 8, 2017-This is the 11 year anniversary of a day that I love to celebrate!!! 

December 8th... A day that I rejoice in...

Please rejoice with me and praise the Lord for all that HE has done for my hubby!!!!

Our Hankie is Home

Well, today was a tough day.  Is it because we are traveling?  Yes, that added to it.  However, it’s tough because our sweet Hank is home with the Lord now!  He’s not been doing very well the last few weeks.  You might remember that he was diagnosed with cancer, lung carcinoma, about nineteen months ago.  They told us not to expect him to live very long.  However, B did his research & learned that Noni Concentrate decreases the size of lung tumors better than chemo.  As well, he learned that mushroom powder can help the immune system considerably.  All of that to say, he survived much longer than expected!!  His life expectancy was even shorter with chemo.  The vet told us in April that whatever we were doing, to keep it up. 

So, the last few days he’s not been moving much at all.  It seemed that his back legs were no longer working. He has stopped eating.  Last night was especially rough as we were up all night with him.  He would cry out in pain (our best guess), then we would move him a little bit & he was a bit better for a few moments and then it would happen again.  Then, he started to “get sick.”  So, many loads of laundry were done last night & this morning.

The sweetest moment for this Momma was seeing her little girl love him so well!  We have a “dog bed” that I made for our first four-legged kiddo, Tucker, that passed away at about eighteen months old!!  She went and got the bed, laid Hank on it, & then covered him with a towel.  She spent most of the morning, just loving on him & talking to him.  It was beautiful & brought me to tears.  I love her heart!!

 Mom was going to keep all three of our pups & hers!  She is superwoman and can balance most anything.  However, she agreed with B that it made more sense for him to go to the vet & be boarded so that he could be watched by them much more closely than she could.  So, we took him to the vet.  Once Dr looked at him and heard about last night, he said that it would be mean to cause him to suffer much longer.  So, we decided to let him go to Heaven.  One of the hardest decisions to make.  I kept asking our vet what he thought & again, he stated that he wouldn’t cause one of his to suffer like Hankie Poo was…so, we all got to love him, hug him, cry over him, and tell him how precious he was to us.  Then, we got to hold our little man as he went to Heaven!!!  Isn’t that where all dogs go….?  It was hard, but our vet was so sweet, as was his staff.  They were so sensitive to our tears, needs, etc.

So, when we get home it will be much harder as our sweet little man won’t be there.  We are going to miss him considerably.  So, please pray for those of us still here and for our other four-legged kiddos as they will miss their brother, too!

Happy Birthday to My Prince!!!

Today is my Prince's day of birth!!  He doesn't post it on fb or anything like that.  Thus, many do not know!!  However, this man deserves to be celebrated today!!  If you ask me, he deserves to be celebrated every day of the week.  He is the first man in my life that keeps his word, loves unconditionally, and keeps his covenant to the Lord and man!!!

There have been many men that have come into my life and been incredible role models, etc.  However, not one has done it all, except for my man, my gift from the Lord!!!  What a rockstar!!!  All men should desire to be like him!

When your wife is dying, you could leave...we've seen many family members, friends, etc., that have done this...while their spouse is in the hospital or as soon as they are out, they are told that they require too much work.  However, he blesses me by telling me that he's never seen loving me as work.  Existing seems like work to me, yet he loves me through it all with such an incredible and generous heart!!

He missed four months of work to be by my side, to make sure that I was cared for...
As many of you know, his work is commission only.  Thus, four months without pay to keep his word, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer...
Something else that  I love about this man (and that can drive me a bit crazy, too) is that even though his job is commission only, he still looks out for what's best for his clients!!  He could propose the ideas that will make the most money for our family.  However, he does what's best for his clients.  He is such an honorable man!!

Have I told you how much I love him?!?!?!  All men should want to be like him and all spouses should want to love like him.  I sure do!  I pray that I can love him as he has loved me, yet without him having to be ill!!

If you will all celebrate his day of birth with me!!  If you have his # or e-mail, please reach out to him to show him how much you care about him & admire him, too!!  If not, and you want to reach out to him, send me a message and I'll share his contact info with you!!  He's in a meeting all day and so he might not be able to answer, but he will still feel the love through messages, etc.

Thanks for making sure that my man, my gift from the Lord, is blessed today!!!

Invisible

What does it feel like?  What does it mean?  I could give you Webster’s or Wikipedia or google’s definition.  However, instead I will give you mine.  With the way that I feel, my guess is that you might see my picture next to the word invisible.  Ouch, I’m being honest, huh?

Despite all of the precious love from each of you while I was in the hospital, now that I’m out….

If you recall, I was in a coma; thus, I don’t recall each of your visits.  As a matter of fact, I have to keep asking B who came to the hospital, who called, etc.  Since I’ve been out of the hospital, out of a coma, I don’t seem as valuable.

I can start the feelings at home.  Apparently, my little one cried for Mommy while gone, but now that I’m here, nothing.  Yes, she’ll occasionally give me a hug and tell me she loves me, but it’s when she wants to, not when I ask her to do something.  You’d think I wasn’t speaking at all.  Yes, my voice is still hoarse.  However, she has acted this way when I have a voice, too.  The assumption is that she looks forward to family time because she gets excited when we talk about it, plan for it, etc.  However, the other night in the car, we’re all about to start singing a song together that is super fun and she asks me to stop so that she can sing by herself.  Ouch!  To most that might not hurt; however, when you don’t feel like you get to be a Mommy anyway, each chance matters.  This was an opportunity for us to share a special song about being a light to a dark world, yet I was asked to not participate.  So, yes, the tears were flowing…my daughter didn’t want a Mommy…was my interpretation. 

So, as you might guess, my view is through a different set of lenses than most of the world might look through or maybe I’m just being extra vulnerable by sharing.  My lenses are that of a grown woman that used to have a job that “required” her to be out talking to people and driving all over Tx all day long.  I was constantly surrounded by people.  I felt important.  When I walked in a room, people noticed.  I was respected by healthcare professionals.  Now, I am stuck in the house most every day.  Sitting behind a computer that can cause seizures since reading & writing are both triggers for my seizures.   I would love to sit & write thank you’s to those of you that have gone above and beyond, yet it typically brings about seizures.  Thus, there’s one more way of reaching out into the world that is removed.  Healthcare professionals see me as the patient, not the one coming with info.  Thus, I am asked to be quiet.  Though we have learned so much through this journey, they don’t care to listen to me.  They will listen to my man, but not me.

I’ve not had the opportunity to drive in nine plus years.  Just to realize that I need something and quickly run to the store.  It doesn’t get to happen.  To know that my 20 yr reunion is coming up and I’d love to go find an outfit to wear since I’ve not been shopping for clothes in quite a few years, but I have to ask for a ride and then ask someone to wait while I try stuff on or only have a few minutes to look because they need to be somewhere else as they are doing me a favor by taking me.  Even to take my kiddo to school.  She prays this almost each night, that God “will heal Mommy so that she can take me to school.”  Ouch.

Okay, so I’ll clean the house if I’m home all day, right?  Well, first, physical activity is a big trigger.   That being the reason that when in public I’m typically in the wheelchair or a motorized scooter at the grocery store.  I love the lines left in the carpet that vacuuming makes.  So, it would bring me so much joy to get to vacuum all day long (okay, I might eventually get sick of it).  However, that is a bunch of physical activity & it’s a lot of noise.  Many sounds are triggers for my seizures.  For example, the blinker in the car can be a trigger.  If music is too loud or at the Friday night football games when they sound the train horn or whatever that loud noise is, I have to plug my ears, or else.  Books on tape/audio books, that would be fun.  However, there is something about the octave that has been a trigger for many years each time that I’ve tried.

Even at church…we have an amazing church family!  However, we sit where we do because of the sounds.  Too close to the speakers and we have seizures.  Too close to the instruments and we have seizures.  Too far away and I don’t feel like I’m a part of the service.  Also, there is a lady that has always had a tambourine, but she sits on the other side of the sanctuary.  So, we’ve been in the same spot for about six years.  For some reason, the last three weeks, she has come over to the other side of the sanctuary and I have to leave during worship due to the pain it causes.  The first week, I just stood in the hallway during worship as I don’t want to interfere with her worship either.  Last week, one of the pastor’s wives saw me in the hallway and asked what was going on and went in and shared with the lady & asked her to stop.  We were at the last worship song by the time all of this happened.  So, I made it back in for one song.  Today, she started banging it and I rushed out.  Ben got one of the ushers to ask her to stop.  Instead, they moved her to the balcony.  So, I came back in…then, it started again, so I had to rush back out.  If you’ve been around me much lately, you know that me and rushing don’t work well together as I am typically shaking, out of breath, and completely exhausted, and likely to have a seizure after rushing.  Turns out there were two ladies today with tambourines.  Thus, I was outside in tears most of the morning.

Back to cleaning the house as this would be fun and there would be a sense of accomplishment.  Most of the chemicals that we would use to clean with, even the more natural ones, when touched, breathed in, etc., can trigger seizures.  Thus, if our house gets clean, that is on B’s shoulders and I can’t be in the house.  So, there’s one more thing I can’t do and one more thing that I have to add to his plate.  I can do laundry, though.  So, there is my outlet a couple of times a week.  However, once I unload the dryer, the standing to hang items, fold sheets, etc., requires help.  Or, I’m just too exhausted from walking from the bedroom to the laundry room, unloading the dryer, switching the clothes from the wash to the dryer to be able to complete the task.  Thus, much of the laundry remains laid out on the table, needing to be folded or hung.  This is frustrating as I was raised to finish what you start.

Another example is in public, namely the grocery store.  It is amazing how many people seem to think that the motorized carts have their own lane and we should get over the fact that they are shopping on the same aisle.  First, most stores do not make their aisles wide enough for the carts to turn easily.  So, if there is someone on the aisle that I’m trying to turn on, I have to wait until they’ve moved completely out of the way.  Second, they aren’t as easy to maneuver as one might guess.  Putting it in reverse, causes a beeping that hurts so badly and typically triggers a seizure.  Thus, forward is the only direction that I can go…It’s amazing how many people that are up and walking with their cart seem to guess that I would prefer to move out of their way in the big motorized piece of equipment rather than them taking two steps backward with their cart so that I can make it past them.

It is truly amazing the dirty looks that I get when coming down the aisles.  As if I have chosen to be in the motorized cart to inconvenience them.  Do they really think that I would intentionally ride in one of those carts and try to get in their way?  It sure seems that way.

Let’s try Miss P’s dance class.  When we get there and I’m on the walker, the Mom’s like to remain standing or sitting where they are.  The fact that there is a woman trying to walk through with a walker doesn’t seem to faze them.  Many will actually turn around and turn their back to me.  Thus, my feeling invisible.  Just because you turned your back to me doesn’t mean that I didn’t see you.  It hurts.  Then, needing a place to sit while there.  I’ve actually had to go out to the car a few times because no one will share some space on a bench.  B can stand in there & he will give up his seat for anyone.  However, if I’m not there early enough to claim it, I have to sit outside in the car.

To live in a community that we’ve been in for 30+ years, it hurts to be in town and see people intentionally turn their back so that they don’t have to look at me, acknowledge me, etc.  Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household.”  Mark 6:4 (NASB)  Please trust that I’m not referring to myself as a prophet by any means.  Just trying to comfort myself that even Jesus felt rejection in His hometown.  

Am I saying that our hometown isn’t amazing?  Not at all.  There are so many wonderful people.  Many that have shown tons of love.  Yet, there are also many tough days.  When at the grocery store, at P’s dance class, etc., it hurts to see people that we know and that know our struggle, yet they still turn the other way.  Or, when people ask us to let them know what they can do to help.  I finally build up the courage to ask them for a quick ride to the grocery store and they’re too busy!! 

Maybe many of you feel this way, you just don’t share it.  Maybe I’m the only one.  If so, sorry for taking up your time.  If you do ever feel this way, know that you are not alone, both physically and spiritually!!

Joshua 1:9, “This is my command — be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (NLT)

What a difference a Month Makes....

With all the natural disaster events that our nation seems to be facing, and veterans returning from war, it seems that today we can all get a little glimpse of what it means or feels like to be shell shocked.  For us, that is what the last month, August, has felt like.  Coming out of a horrendous July with Princess nearly losing her life not just once, but twice has left us almost a feeling of walking on egg shells.  Princess is still continuing to have seizures, thankfully, not near the rate that we were experiencing in July or actually even prior to July.  This has been an answered prayer and we praise the Lord for providing just only 5 seizures that we recorded for all of August. 

We are still trying to balance our schedule between multiple physical therapy appointments per week and multiple visits from a nurse to monitor Princess’ blood levels.  Thankfully, the shell shocked feeling seems to be lessening and we are beginning to get back into a routine. 

Something that I have been able to describe to folks is just how much energy, or lack there of, that Princess doesn’t have.  It is really surprising just how much stamina Princess does not have and that once fairly simple tasks at the house can exhaust her.  Slowly we are seeing improvement, and realize that the road ahead back to full-strength will take some time. 

Another reason that August was good was the fact that Princess and I (as many read) celebrated 14 years of marriage.  We had a nice quiet celebration, and are looking forward to what this year holds. 

Thank you to many who are continuing to check-in and seek updates!  We are grateful for today and are prayerful that September will allow for Princess to continue to build her strength and can have fewer seizures than August.  As of today, we have recorded 4 seizures so far and pray that the Lord will continuing to provide healing! 

Fourteen Years of Blessing!!!

Today is the day to celebrate 14 years of a man honoring his commitment to the Lord!!

Who has received the ultimate blessing of that commitment?...Me!!!

Yes, this is M posting!!!!  For some reason, the Lord has chosen to keep me here and now I get to thank my Man for being so incredible!!!

My prince has stood by my side in the good & bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness & in health (though we've not had too much of the health part).  It amazes me how many people say that most husbands would be gone by now.  However, when we got married, there was a good part of me that believed he would disappear like every other man in my life...yet, a few weeks ago, (I'm crying now) he said, "I hope that I've proven you wrong, that all men do not leave.  I'm here 'til death do us part."  What an amazing man!  You have all experienced how amazing he is over the last two months.  Yet, I missed most of July and keep learning of all of the amazing things he did for me.  Many are things that are embarrassing to think that my hubby had to do those things, yet he acts like it was natural, expected, no big deal...it was a big deal because to do those things and be that husband means he saw parts of me that as ladies we try to keep hidden to feel attractive, it means he didn't get to work for almost two months, it means that he missed his annual mtg for work, it means that we missed T Bar M family camp, it means he sacrificed himself to give to me and take care of me and Critter!!!  It means that he's not even mentioned how awful my hair looks since I don't have too much left with all that had to be cut off and he tells me it's beautiful!!!  Even the sweet lady that does our hair was a bit thrown off with what to do at first.  Yet, he's not even posted a pic of what he has to look at each day so that you can all feel sorry for him!!!

Coming home to love on our girl and make it about Jesus, not himself!!!

Do I feel blessed?  Absolutely!!!  Thank you, Jesus, for this man that you and your Daddy chose for me!!!  I am beyond grateful!!!

Ephesians 5:1-3; 20-33 (NIV)

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Instructions for Christian Households

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

This is my man...every single thing that you read above.  He takes his commitment so seriously.  I am so blessed!!

The truth is that our pastor puts it best in today's devo that he sent out!!!  So, I'll let him finish this post for me!!

- LOVING LIKE JESUS -

By the nature of the cross, sacrifice includes suffering. You cannot make a sacrifice without suffering. In the Garden of Gethsemane on the night before His death, Jesus prayed, “Let this cup pass from Me.” He would have preferred not to do it, but then He said, “Not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39). Out of love for us, Jesus went to the cross and stayed there even when He didn’t have to.

Suffering out of love for your wife will mean dying to yourself. And real love means you do it even when your wife’s virtues don’t motivate you to do it. We can’t say, “Get right first, and then I’ll love you.” God’s love doesn’t work that way, and neither should ours. God tells husbands to imitate Christ’s love, and this means dying to self just as Christ did.

Loving your wife like Christ loves the church also involves substitution. In baseball, a designated hitter gets in the game to hit for the pitcher so that the team can protect the pitcher, the more valuable player, from injury. In the same way, a husband should go to bat for his wife, protecting and valuing her.

For His kingdom,

Tony Evans

God is Good...

Friends, it has now been three weeks since we came home from our nearly month long stay and ordeal in the hospital.  While it is great to be home we certainly are not immune from challenges.  Trying to balance work life, home life, and Princess' physical limitations has been quite the chore to juggle.  While things have been manageable, it has truly been an adjustment to balance multiple weekly and sometime daily nurse visits.  Recurrent doctor appointments and transitioning into "life."  Princess is continuing to improve, and while it is slower than what we really would prefer, we are excited to see that she is progressing. 


Our biggest praise for the update is that since Princess' last recorded seizure in the ICU, she has only recorded 2 seizures total.  Yes!!!  Miraculously, things have been well in this regard and the two seizures she did record were both on this past Saturday.  Having been through what we have just experienced we did make a quick trip to the ER to check labs.  Thankfully, her labs, namely her sodium levels, were fine and she has not recorded any seizures since then.  Praise the Lord!


Therefore, in nearly 30 days, Princess has only recorded 2 seizures.  In our 11 year journey, this has actually never happened.  Praise the Lord for His mighty work. We also have stumbled upon another potential cause of her seizures that I will discuss later through another post.  More importantly, through this discovery that we have literally stumbled upon, we are looking forward to continuing to test our theory and continue to look towards a favorable outcome for Princess.


We did have a follow-up with the ENT today and Princess' voice is probably around 90% of full strength.  It is fun to hear more of her voice and see her improvement.  From the trauma that she sustained from the dual intubations, the ENT sees dramatic improvement with still some swelling and expects that in a few more weeks that Princess will not have any complications.  Her pneumonia also seems to be treated and not pose any issues. 


It does seem that Princess' shingles has improved and she is now just experiencing some residual nerve pain that should clear in the coming months.  Along with another autoimmune condition, Princess has experienced a little bit of alopecia.  This has truly been interesting as she has lost a significant amount of hair just prior to the ICU and then after removal of the EEG when we left the ICU. 


Lastly, it is truly amazing the toll that the ICU and the seizures took on Princess' body.  Her musculoskeletal system is pretty sore and it is very apparent that it will still take some time for her to fully heal.  Currently, we are dealing with sore muscles and knots in her back and neck and extremely sore leg muscles.   Her walking is continuing to improve and we are not needing the walker nearly as much around the home.  We are still dependent upon the wheel chair for most things outside of the home and are working with physical therapy to increase Princess' strength. 


Thank you for all those that are continuing to pray and check in.  Princess is getting better and we are cautiously optimistic with each day.  Sodium levels seems to be holding steady.  We are monitoring her potassium levels closely as this has also been a challenge to maintain.  Above all, it is encouraging to see Princess getting better!


I look forward to posting more soon! 

The Need....

A long overdue "Howdy!" from the Foxhole. Princess reminded me that it has been over eight days since our last post.  Thank you as well to all of our dear friends and followers who have checked in through your messages, texts, and posts.  We have now been home for two weeks and we are still adjusting and learning to be back home.  Balancing time between, work for myself, Physical Therapy at home for Princess, other nurse visits, continued doctors appointments, and of course the clamors of needs at home, it has been busy.  Friday night we were able to take a break resume with our Date Night.  Back at our spot, the Lord blessed us as we crossed paths with a childhood family friend of Princess that had been randomly following the Foxhole from Nicaragua on a recent trip.  This was an encouraging encounter and blessing!  Amazing to see how God works!

As the days pass, I have been able to share more with Princess of what the last month has involved.  Whether through messages, pictures or even stories, she sits back and listens to her life as if it was a story.  Truly unique what the brain can retain or not retain.  Names, faces, events have seemed to have unfortunately vanished, and yet, something much more important has remained...

Physically, Princess is still trying to work through getting her strength back.  Moving from bed to the bathroom is like sprinting a mile and leaves her exhausted.  Truly a reminder of just how difficult of a hill it will be to regain her strength.  Her voice is getting stronger and she isn't speaking with a whisper as much.  Her pneumonia has seemed to healed.  Her shingles is still a bother, and we have seen a couple times where it isn't as painful as before (this a huge relief).  A praise is that we have not recorded a seizure.  Rather, we have continued to record auras and fortunately, the last few days those have been decreasing in frequency, too.  So amid the backdrop of business, physical pain, and exhaustion, Princess is slowly getting better.  It is apparent that it will take some time and I pray that we can be still, and continue to keep our focus on the Lord and His work in and through this season.

As I left a thought hanging just a paragraph back, something of much greater importance for Princess has remained.  And while we adjust to the trials at home, we also recognize the trials that lay for all of us ahead.  This weekend a dramatic and unfortunate scene has played out in Virginia.  And for us what has remained, is what is absent from many in our Nation today.  Something, that because of its lack, has brought about hostility, anger, and aggression.  This lack...is a need for a Savior.

A question that has been asked of us a lot through our particular journey is if Princess remembered me.  Did she remember Critter?  Did she know who we were?  Yes, is the short answer.  And while this might be important, more importantly, she has rested well in our Father's grasp and has never lost sight, or better, never lost her mind of who Christ is as her Savior, Rock, and Redeemer.  Through the trial and through the pain, her focus has been and is continually on Him. Our focus remains on Him to be our strength and our Provider. Our Savior.

And this has kept our attention and our focus.  Our faith in Christ has given us balance, direction, and wisdom.  Today, I shared with Princess that in the heat of the early moments of our first hospitalization, and in a moment where I was finally able to sit and call my family to provide an update, the only words that I could muster out was what was and has been hidden in my heart.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your way, acknowledge Him

and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Matthew 12 says that out of the overflow of the heart the mouths speaks. As I shared with Princess the events and what was shared with our family, I am grateful that the overflow of my heart is with God's Word.  He is truly carrying us.  And in the same breath, I cry for our Nation, for our homes, for our families that we would all cling to the Savior, Jesus Christ.  

Chaos fills our lives and the tension of hostility and racism, among other things, spilled over and God has been left out of our culture once again.  Sadly, the decline that has been going on for decades is only getting worse and I, Princess, ALL of us need to pray, and seek the only One that can give us any peace or solution to our problems. Just like the Lord has provided in many ways for us, I am praying that all of us could stop and get back to a time when there was respect, moral values, and a belief in God.   

And while I don't feel qualified to speak on such an issue or even a matter, I turn to those who well before me have tried to address the Need.  

Here is a brief snippet from Dr. J Vernon McGee in a message he titled, "America Needs a Declaration of Dependence."

"I want you to notice a philosophy of history that we find in God’s Word. The three steps that precede the downfall of any nation are first of all, religious apostasy; second, there is moral awfulness; and third, political anarchy. These are the three steps downward that all the great nations of the past, lying this moment in rubble and ashes, have taken. Rome, for instance, is the classic example. The historian Gibbon gives five reasons for the decline and fall of the Roman Empire. The first step down is the undermining of the dignity and sanctity of the home, which is the basis of human society. Second, higher and higher taxes, the spending of public money for free bread and circuses for the populace. Third, the mad craze for pleasure, sports becoming every year more exciting, more brutal, more immoral. Fourth, the building of great armaments when the great enemy is within — the decay of individual responsibility. And fifth, the decay of religion, fading into mere form, losing touch with life, losing power to guide the people. These were the downward steps that Rome took, Greece took, and which all the great nations of the past have taken."

He goes on to state...

"How Did It Happen? Pandora’s box of troubles was opened for America back at the turn of the century when professing Christians deserted the midweek service and then, after the first World War, deserted the Sunday night service. And before long there was no difference between the leading deacon’s language and that of the local bartender. Dr. Walter F. Tunks of the University of Akron said, “In the last six thousand years, there have been twenty-one civilizations, and every one of them has gone on the rocks precisely at the point where they let God go.” It was indeed interesting to find in the staid Wall Street Journal, when the Depression first began, a brief editorial that went something like this: “What America needs more than railway extension, western irrigation, a low tariff, a bigger cotton crop, and a larger wheat crop is a revival of religion. The kind that father and mother used to have. A religion that counted it good business to take time for family worship each morning right in the middle of wheat harvest. A religion that prompted them to quit work a half hour earlier on Wednesday so that the whole family could get ready to go to prayer meeting.”

"America’s problem is the same today; it is a spiritual problem."

So, as a long overdue update, we do appreciate you checking in.  We appreciate your involvement in our lives and we are so grateful for your prayers and support.  Lord willing, we will continue to post about Princess' improvements and most importantly, God's continued grace, and strength through  the adversity.  Please pray too for the communities affected by the weekend's events.  Pray for our Nation.  Pray most importantly for God to be made known, and for our homes, families, communities, states, our Nation to recognize that our problem is a spiritual problem and there is, just like there has only and always been, one solution.  The need for a Savior.

Home, Again...

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The Foxhole is now posting from home!  And while we have been home now for several days, we are still trying to acclimate ourselves.  As the verse above states, Rejoice Always.... Easy to do now at home...difficult to do while going through an unpleasant circumstance like we just went through.  Yet, we did and continue to celebrate the milestones and victories we received while in the ICU and Hospital, and now at home.  We also greatly rejoice because of great support and friends like you.  Like the early church, as spoken of in Acts, you came alongside of us, supported us and gave of yourselves.  As Barnabas' name meant comforter or encourager, you were, and still are, a Barnabas for us. 


And whatever form of comfort and encouragement it has been, it has helped to carry me, Princess, and even Critter through this last month and looking forward.  So in our prayers, we too, pray for you continually, and give thanks for God's provision.  Thank you!


Additionally, I look to this verse to let it be a reminder of how can I rejoice in affliction.  Sure it is easy to rejoice when things go our way, yet in a trial...how is it possible?  For me, it is what follows after the first part of this verse.  An attitude. 


Focused attitude and attention on God. This attitude and really, the heart, has to be centered and focused on Christ.  A sure way to do this is to communicate with God.  How do we do that?  Through prayer.  Simply, prayer is our time to just talk with God.  So therefore, having an attitude of prayer and praying without ceasing will dramatically change mine, our, attitudes.  Hence, our attitude needs to be guided by prayer.  And then, finding a way to give thanks.  While I may not have this focus all the time, I am grateful for God's grace and His mercy.  For as the Bible says in Lamentations 3:22-23, "The Lord's lovingkindesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." 


Is it easy to give thanks in ALL circumstances?  No, it isn't.  And really, it is truly hard. Sometimes it seems even impossible.  Many have walked an even tougher road and for me to sit here and encourage someone to be thankful for a horrific event, is really something that I cannot understand.  My finite mind cannot even begin to explain an infinite God who says that He knows the plans He has for you and me.  Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans for a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  Therefore, as we have referenced in the Foxhole many times, Proverbs 3:5-6.  Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in ALL your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. 


So, do I, does the Foxhole have it all figured out?  Certainly, not!  Are there times when we get frustrated, beaten down, angry, and upset?  Absolutely.  But, it is because of God, because of you, because of our attitudes directed at and towards Christ, that brings us through and allows for us to rejoice always, and give thanks.  And hence, that is even now our focus as we are now home. 


Home, again...  Being timid this week at home has been a struggle.  Princess has truly gone through two nearly life-ending events in just less than four weeks.  Her body that is supposed to be able to work on its own, was literally being controlled by a single machine.  Therefore, she is fragile as her body's own systems begin to function all together again.  Like a restored antique auto, all the parts and pieces have to each come together to be fully restored.  And that process takes time.  Unfortunately, it doesn't happen overnight. 


How did we get to where we just came from?  Her sodium levels literally crashed.  And while we don't know if it was a gradual event or just sudden, her sodium levels are the only outlier in both hospitalizations.  This most likely caused by a consumption of too much water, trying to control another condition that she suffers from, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS).  So now it is scary to even consume fluids, trying to find the right balance for what the body requires in a normal state, yet what the body requires for a condition like POTS. 


And while trying to maintain the right sodium level is a concern, we also find ourselves trying to adjust to a "new normal" at home.  Even discussing last night, we don't want to call it a normal.  While in the hospital someone mentioned to us that for every day in the hospital, it takes about two days to recover.  After this week, we are seeing this.  It truly will take some time (possibly two months) for Princess to recover.  Getting around the house is not easy.  Though guided by a walker, it is an exhausting task to just get from bed to the bathroom.  What should be just a short few steps, seems like a mile.  Physically, she is just continually exhausted and is having to relearn many things.  And while we have not recorded any seizures, she is still having auras.  Though less serious, it does cause for all of us to take a moment and stop.  And now our schedule at home is trying to coordinate follow up appointments, physical therapy, speech therapy, and fitting in final arrangements for the upcoming school year. 


Speaking of follow up appointments.  Many of you knew and have been asking about our recent ENT appointment.  Since Princess' second extubation, she has had no voice.  Whether there was some laryngeal trauma or even something else, we needed to follow up with the ENT to figure our what was going on.  Praise report, it appears that Princess' throat, and everything pertaining to the neck area (internally) is very inflamed.  It appears that there is still some present infection (pneumonia) and a few scratches or trauma in the palate.   Therefore, a steroid, antibiotic, and something to loosen the mucous should hopefully have Princess' voice returning.  We are pleased to say that midway through the steroid regimen, Princess is showing a small improvement in her voice in various snippets throughout the day.  While just above a whisper, it is encouraging for all of us to witness this!  Referencing to early....Easy to give thanks!  Praise the Lord! 


On another front, Princess has likewise has a continual pain that is focused squarely on her right shoulder and chest area.  While we have been trying to determine if this was muscle related due to the seizures, reaction to medical tape, or a reaction to the EEG, we think that as of late yesterday it actually might be shingles!  Lovely!  While there isn't an open sore, in really looking at the facts, visiting with others (including our physician), this seems to be what's taking place. 


And there it is, a much long overdue post.  First, again, thank you!  Second, please keep Princess in your prayers as she recovers.  It is going to take some time.  While I see improvements in her daily, it is going to take some time for her strength, cognitive ability, endurance physically and mentally, and really just daily life to get back together.  Please keep praying.  Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing.  Give thanks to the Lord! 


Please pray:

• Princess to be strengthened physically and mentally each day.
• Princess to not be overwhelmed by being at home and not being able to "be at home."
• Princess' voice and throat to heal.
• Princess' shingles to subside or go away.
• Our family time and some greatly needed Critter time.