September 11th

Today carries a different meaning for our family!  Though we celebrate the heroics of 9/11 and mourn the terrible loss of life, we also celebrate a life, one that was spared.  Why?  9/11 is the day the Lord used to teach me a lesson about faith!  Yes, September 11. 2006, ten years ago today, five years after the attacks on our nation, Satan tried to cause me doubt.  However, my hubby walked in faith!!  September 11, 2006, was the day that my man was diagnosed with the big “C” word, CANCER!!

The doc came in to recovery, while B was still under anesthesia and told me that my husband had cancer, but don’t worry, he’d be back before he woke up, to tell him!  Don’t worry?  Everyone I had ever known with cancer had died!  What do you mean, don’t worry?  So, I began sending out invitations to my pity party!  However, my man woke before the doc came back in to tell him.  He said, “well?”  How do you tell your 26 year old husband that he has cancer?  Somehow, I stumbled over the words and shared the news with him.  His response?  That’s where my faith journey begins…the first words out of his mouth were, “cool, that means I get to be a cancer survivor!!”

What?  Maybe you didn’t hear me properly?  You have a disease that has taken the life of everyone I’ve known with it!  That didn’t sway this man’s faith!  Not one bit!!  He saw the exciting journey ahead of him!  We have two friends that came to know the Lord through watching his journey.  His statement, “if that’s the only reason I had cancer, it was worth it!?”  What?  Yes, that is the man I am blessed to call my husband, a man that is more concerned about others and their life after they leave earth vs his, while here!! 

B has taught me so much on my own health journey!!  When I’m not feeling well, I think of what he endured and his outlook!!  Thus, my prayer is that God will be the hero of my health journey, just as he is clearly the hero of B’s!!! 

God is already the hero as I watch my hubby love me in spite of ten years of a medical trial and having to do just about everything for our family!!  He is truly living out Ephesians 5:25-33:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

Thank you, Lord, for choosing this man for me, our family, and Your Glory!!!

Lucky 13

Well, my man, my prince, beat me to the punch!  I was supposed to have a short PTA meeting this morning as Miss P started her first day of kindergarten yesterday!!  However, the meeting turned in to 3 hrs.  Then, my incredible husband took me to a special 13th anniversary lunch!  On the way back, I fell asleep & finished about 20 min of the nap once we got back home!  Then, we had to leave to go get Miss P from her after school care!  As soon as we made it home, we made dinner, took showers, and now I’m able to post a Happy Anniversary message to world’s most incredible husband!!!

Yes, today we celebrated 13 years of marriage!!  Praise be to the Lord that he brought this man in to my life!!  There is no greater man on earth, in my opinion!  He has kept his vows when most men would have said it’s too hard.  He has sacrificed time at work, when my health called for him to be by me “in sickness!”  Though this could make us “poorer,” he has stood by my side!  My guess is that most men would not still be by the sides of their wives, yet he is still here!  I don’t get to be the “better” wife due to my health, or even Mom as reading and physical activity are triggers for my seizures!  Yet, he does it ALL!!!  He reads to Miss P, reads to me, makes dinner, makes her meals, yet still tries to balance work!!  Wow!!

I am so grateful the Lord brought this man in to my life!!  Thank you, Lord, for my prince, that has ridden in and rescued me!!

In Aggieland, getting to meet my new service dog's, half sister, Miss Rev!!

In Aggieland, getting to meet my new service dog's, half sister, Miss Rev!!

My rodeo clown & cowgirl at Family Camp!!

My Man, such a clown!!

Love my man!!

Love my man!!

What a difference a few more days make...

...and the weather!!


That is our best guess!!

I have had 13 seizures in three days!!  Six on my birthday.  Five the next day.  Two on Saturday!!  Thus, we truly wonder if the weather plays a role in the seizures, since Patricia came to town!!!

To have only five seizures in 28 days!!  Wow!!  Praise Jesus!!!

To then have 13 in three days (with 11 of those being in just two days)!!  Praise the Lord that I'm still alive!!  It is so taxing on my body, especially when I've gone so many days without a seizure!!  We are so grateful for each and every day without a seizure.  Yet, my ability to "come back" after one is decreased dramatically.  To then, have six in one day!!

We have seen a correlation in the past to the weather and just didn't want to admit it, yet, I think this proved it!!!  So, in the last seven days, I have had 16 seizures.  That's how many I had the entire month of August!!

Please pray that my body will adjust quickly and not be so responsive to the weather!!   Instead, may the Lord's healing rest upon my body!!  Please, Lord!!!

Thank you each for being such incredible prayer warriors!!

Finally, a sweet friend from B's home office shared this with me today, it is exactly what I needed:

What a Difference a Day Makes...

As always, Praise Jesus Christ, first.  Princess has experienced her best month ever to date and never in our nearly 10 year journey has Princess experienced so few seizures.  It is getting nice to say it has been 20 days and only 1 seizure, or for the month of October she has only had 1 seizure.  Absolutely incredible!

Please continue to pray for her healing and Jesus' work in her life.  While we rejoice in the great news, we are also very quickly reminded that the days ahead will still be a long journey.  So while this month has been wonderful...really it has!  Just in the last 24 hours Princess has had 3 seizures.  A sobering reminder that we're not out of the woods, yet.

So thank you for staying in touch and thank you for continuing to pray!

Quick update...turned long!!

Just a quick update that I have only had one seizure in the month of October!!!  As well, the last 10 days of September, I only had three seizures!!! 

However, the first 2/3 of the month, I had 69 seizures.  Which means, it was my third worst month of the year.  However, it was the first 20 days that were yucky.  Then, we went back to the doc in CO and she recommended that I go back to exactly how I was in August.  That meant increasing my dose of one of the meds that I'm on...they say that it's harder to get off of these meds, approved by the FDA, than meth.  Thus, it will take about two years for me to get off of it and so I want to hurry!!  Yet, she had me go back to the dose I was on and stick with it for at least a month. 

As well, I had a UTI that wouldn't go away.  Thus, I had to do two rounds of antibiotics.  Two days after I got off of the antibiotics, the seizures backed off for me.  We read the Package Insert on the meds and they say to not take them if you have seizures.  Oops!!  We all learned something there!!! 

So, the truth is that in the last 22-23 days, I have only had 4 seizures!!  WOW!!  All Praise to the Father, our Lord Jesus Christ!!!  Now, do I feel normal or better or whatever the question might be?  I want to quote a teen from the Epilepsy Foundation, 'How do you answer the question, "How are you feeling" when you've forgotten what normal feels like?'




So, I may not remember what normal feels like.  I guess that can be good or bad.  I would love to say that I'm choosing to see the good in it.  However, I still have this image of what a perfect wife and mother are, and I'm not those things!  Ben was sweet last night in his encouragement to Pierson because she said she didn't want to go to school because one of the boys is mean to her.  He told her that we've all had someone be mean to us at school or work, yet that doesn't mean we quit.  He gave her the example of Mommy and you know how bad Mommy feels when she's having seizures, yet she doesn't quit, she relies on the Lord to be her strength.  She keeps loving us and doing things for us and because of this many more people are talking to Jesus!!  He had me in tears because I don't know of anyone that's talking to Jesus more. 

I haven't seen the good in this.  Other than the fact that our Congressman, John Ratcliffe, co-sponsored HR 1635, the Charlotte's Web Hemp Exemption Act.  This removes hemp from the Controlled Substances Act on a federal level.  We have 58 co-sponsors now (Praise the Lord) and need at least 100 for it to go to vote on the floor of the house.  Right now, it is in committee, which means it sits!!  As Paige Figi, Mom of Charlotte stated, "this bill needed to be approved yesterday!" 

Hemp and Marijuana are not the same thing and so many people are confused by this.  Let's take the species canine, you can have a dachshund, a rottweiler, a wolf, or a fox!!  Are you ever going to get a fox if you breed a rottweiler?  NO!!  Same with hemp and marijuana, they are of the same species, cannabaceae, yet they are different breeds!!  Hemp is very high in CBD and had less than .3%THC; whereas, marijuana has greater than 25% THC.  Clear difference.  The other thing we learned is that THC actually has to be heated in order for it to be psychoactive (the negative that we hear about marijuana)!!

So, if there are over 129 conditions that hemp/CBD help to treat, are you for it, as well?!  The problem is that during prohibition, it got thrown under the label of marijuana, rather than truly looking at the species vs. breed.

Interruption...clearly, this isn't a quick update anymore.... ; )

So, if you are for it, you can go to www.coalitionforaccessnow.org and send a letter to your congressman asking them to "co-sponsor" HR 1635 or call them.  You can add text to the form letter that they've written for you on the site and tell our story, if you feel so led.  If they will meet with you, please let me know and I'll do my best to be there and share an example and tell God's story!!

So, those that know me best, know that I'm a rule follower to a 'T!'  Thus, we need to make this a federal "rule" that hemp is no longer part of the Controlled Substances Act.  It can't even be in clinical studies because it's a controlled substance!!

We have seen so many benefits coming from a plant that God created....

Psalm 104:29-31

²⁹ You hide Your face, they are dismayed;
You take away their spirit, they expire
And return to their dust.
³⁰ You send forth Your Spirit, they are created;
And You renew the face of the ground.

³¹ Let the glory of the Lord endure forever;
Let the Lord be glad in His works;

Genesis 50:20-21
²⁰ As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. ²¹ So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

Thus, many use THC for evil, yet God means it for good.  It is one of the only medications/plants that can help someone to get off of these yucky meds.  

So, this long update to say, please go to www.coalitionforaccessnow.org and you can either enter your e-mail, or you can print the letter and take it to your Congressman, or you can call your Congressman's office.  For those of you that are in District 4 or that just want to say thank you!  Please take the time to thank Congressman John Ratcliffe for supporting the Charlotte's Web Hemp Exemption Act (HR 1635)!!  His DC phone # is 202-225-6673 or his Rockwall office is 972-771-0100.  

Thank you all for bringing glory to the Lord through the healing of His children!!

Please continue to pray that I find my worth as a mother, wife, woman, etc.  As well, pray for many more seizure free days and many more days of being able to decrease the meds!!!  Thank you each for your precious interest in our family!!!

Anniversary Celebration

We got to celebrate our 12th Wedding anniversary a few weeks ago!!!  Ben wore the shirt that he was wearing when I first saw him and went, "when did he get so cute?"  I wore the shirt that I apparently wore to all of our Sunday date dinners through college!  The good thing is that we can still wear them, the bad thing is that we still have them 14+ years later!!!

We went to our favorite spot for dinner and learning that it was our anniversary, you can see above the gift they gave to us!!  It was so sweet!!!

I'm so blessed to be married to this man!!!

I praise the Lord for my Ephesians 5:22-33 Man:

Marriage Like Christ and the Church

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.  But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.  So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;  for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,  because we are members of His body.  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.  Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

Update, Tension

Thank you for all of YOU....our precious friends and Prayer Warriors.  Princess posted last that things were starting out rough for the month of September.  Unfortunately, the trend is continuing and we are reminded that throughout our recent favorable results and even coming off of a good month in August, Princess' journey to full recovery is going to be long.  Each day has its challenges and we have to be mindful to not let is distract and take away from the good that God is doing!  So, please continue to be in prayer for Princess.

The other night was a harsh reminder of the challenges that have faced us in these last nine years.  While making it through Monday with no seizures, Tuesday was in fact different and we ended the day with a seizure that lasted well over an hour and even meant we would have to administer a rescue med to try to break the cycle.  While the med worked in about a hour's time, it was a frustrating and discouraging moment when things seemed to be going well.

While we don't know what to attribute the recent uptick to, we have to continue to keep our focus on Christ and His work in Princess' life.  We have to remind ourselves of the good that He has done and where we came from.  Recently, Princess acquired an infection that we had to treat with antibiotics, then we actually reduced her pharmaceuticals.  Both of these could very well be factors leading to the increase, but nearly a week later, it is exhausting and bewildering.  Additionally, we recently got lab results back that indicate the concentration of her pharmaceuticals in her blood is actually greater (despite the decrease/taper) which means she is "toxic" or over medicated; therefore, possibly creating another link to the increase in seizures....Oh, what a balance.

Please pray for the direction, and the understanding to see what is going on.  Later this morning we are jumping on a phone conference with one of our doctors to consult all these variables and seek what direction to take.

Regarding tension....Sunday at church was an incredible time of worship.  During worship, our worship leader gave us a great reminder of how God can actually use our situation and compliment our situation despite the chaos or tension that is sometimes present.  Very often we think that when bad happens that it must be the work of Satan himself, surely not our Almighty and Loving God.  But is this really true?  No!  God does allow things to be a part of our life that may not seem pleasant or good.  We  have certainly seen this first hand.  So this past Sunday, our Worship Leader reminded us of a term called dissonance.

What was illustrated and played out for us was the reality of a harsh and disagreeable combination of just two notes on the piano.  The the painful combination played out, lingered, and created tension in our ears and mind, the leader reminded us that sometimes that tension is created and persists, but that it takes just a few more additional musical notes to accompany the then created tension to create great harmony and comfort.  Wow!  What a great illustration!  So while we feel tension....while we see the chaos that is all around us, we seek God to compliment the tension and to make beautiful music of our lives to bring glory to Him and to  Him alone.

So, thank you for your prayers for Princess.  Thanks for being part of our journey!  We look forward to sharing more in the coming days!