I
have been debating whether or not to post this and I finally decided it
might help someone so here goes. I wrote this post 2 weeks ago and it
is amazing how far we have come since that time...
Haylie update - Mar 20
It’s been a tough week. We have had a lot of ups and downs but overall I rejoice. I think I had too high of expectations for the maintenance phase. I heard the doctors and nurses tell us we only had to go back once a month, and I was so excited, but in reality it is a lot more. It is actually twice a month on most months, but every 3 months we have to go every.single.day. for a week of chemo. This is that week for us and the side effects are really hitting Haylie hard. It was especially difficult when doctors told me they would probably be increasing her chemo because her ANC was too high. WHAT!? I thought that was our goal and a good thing? I had a super hard time understanding why they would increase chemo to bring down her ANC. There was one side of me that was just DONE. No more. My mind fought the question, do we really need more chemo? What if we just quit now and took vitamins? I was under the impression that all the cancer was gone. I prayed for clarity, for peace, for a definite answer to do the right thing.
God works in such amazing ways. He answered my prayer yesterday, although it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. It’s a long story, but I feel very confident with 2 confirmations that we must stay the course. I had a really good talk with Haylie’s oncologist who was able to answer many of my concerns. Unfortunately, (ALL) acute lymphoblastic leukemia is a lot different than other cancers. If it comes back, most of the time it is resistant to chemo and the chances of survival are greatly reduced. And out of the 3 types of ALL, t-cell is the worst. Another kick in the gut. The doctor explained that if we stopped now and they didn’t get it all it would be like playing Russian roulette with Haylie. Not a chance I want to take. She went over a lot of research and studies that have been done to find the best treatment. It’s hard sometimes because so many people give you their home remedy and tell you what worked for someone they know. While I know they have the best intentions, they don’t have all the info about Haylie’s case, so we will continue with chemo for the next 2 years and I know Haylie’s amazing doctor is truly doing what is proven to give Haylie the very best chance at beating cancer.
Haylie and I went and watched the movie Run the Race last week. It was so incredibly good. So much different than I expected. I highly recommend that everyone should see it, and take tissues. I have been struggling with the question why do bad things happen to good people? Why do some have to endure such hardships? Life just isn’t fair. I left the movie in tears and realized this is our race. It’s not easy, and it’s not what I would have ever asked for, but this is what God has called us to right now. God can use our circumstances and trials and turn it into a miracle and a testimony of His goodness. It doesn’t always end the way we might expect, but he does have a purpose and a plan and the end result is heaven. I saw a quote the other day and it said “as a parent it’s my priority to help you get into Heaven, not Harvard.” That could be used in so many more circumstances. God has called each of us to run a race and it’s our job to run it the best we can, whether it’s a fun race like winning championships or a tough race, like enduring a health crisis. We are called to trust and honor God in all circumstances. I can see how much we have grown in our faith over this year. God never said it would be easy, but he did promise to be with us every step of the way. I know this is true because it certainly hasn’t been on Michael’s and my own strength, it has been His.
I would tell you more, but I would ruin the movie. Trust me, go watch the movie. It might not be in theaters anymore, but make sure to rent it or buy it. It will be worth it. In the meantime, we will continue to run our race and I encourage you to run yours.
Blessings to you all. Thank you all for the continued prayers.
#HealingForHaylie
Haylie update - Mar 20
It’s been a tough week. We have had a lot of ups and downs but overall I rejoice. I think I had too high of expectations for the maintenance phase. I heard the doctors and nurses tell us we only had to go back once a month, and I was so excited, but in reality it is a lot more. It is actually twice a month on most months, but every 3 months we have to go every.single.day. for a week of chemo. This is that week for us and the side effects are really hitting Haylie hard. It was especially difficult when doctors told me they would probably be increasing her chemo because her ANC was too high. WHAT!? I thought that was our goal and a good thing? I had a super hard time understanding why they would increase chemo to bring down her ANC. There was one side of me that was just DONE. No more. My mind fought the question, do we really need more chemo? What if we just quit now and took vitamins? I was under the impression that all the cancer was gone. I prayed for clarity, for peace, for a definite answer to do the right thing.
God works in such amazing ways. He answered my prayer yesterday, although it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. It’s a long story, but I feel very confident with 2 confirmations that we must stay the course. I had a really good talk with Haylie’s oncologist who was able to answer many of my concerns. Unfortunately, (ALL) acute lymphoblastic leukemia is a lot different than other cancers. If it comes back, most of the time it is resistant to chemo and the chances of survival are greatly reduced. And out of the 3 types of ALL, t-cell is the worst. Another kick in the gut. The doctor explained that if we stopped now and they didn’t get it all it would be like playing Russian roulette with Haylie. Not a chance I want to take. She went over a lot of research and studies that have been done to find the best treatment. It’s hard sometimes because so many people give you their home remedy and tell you what worked for someone they know. While I know they have the best intentions, they don’t have all the info about Haylie’s case, so we will continue with chemo for the next 2 years and I know Haylie’s amazing doctor is truly doing what is proven to give Haylie the very best chance at beating cancer.
Haylie and I went and watched the movie Run the Race last week. It was so incredibly good. So much different than I expected. I highly recommend that everyone should see it, and take tissues. I have been struggling with the question why do bad things happen to good people? Why do some have to endure such hardships? Life just isn’t fair. I left the movie in tears and realized this is our race. It’s not easy, and it’s not what I would have ever asked for, but this is what God has called us to right now. God can use our circumstances and trials and turn it into a miracle and a testimony of His goodness. It doesn’t always end the way we might expect, but he does have a purpose and a plan and the end result is heaven. I saw a quote the other day and it said “as a parent it’s my priority to help you get into Heaven, not Harvard.” That could be used in so many more circumstances. God has called each of us to run a race and it’s our job to run it the best we can, whether it’s a fun race like winning championships or a tough race, like enduring a health crisis. We are called to trust and honor God in all circumstances. I can see how much we have grown in our faith over this year. God never said it would be easy, but he did promise to be with us every step of the way. I know this is true because it certainly hasn’t been on Michael’s and my own strength, it has been His.
I would tell you more, but I would ruin the movie. Trust me, go watch the movie. It might not be in theaters anymore, but make sure to rent it or buy it. It will be worth it. In the meantime, we will continue to run our race and I encourage you to run yours.
Blessings to you all. Thank you all for the continued prayers.
#HealingForHaylie
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| Getting her port accessed. One of 5 times that week. |
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| She was just exhausted on the way home. |
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| We got all ready for church, but she couldn’t hardly walk that morning so we ended up watching it online. |
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| Haylie and Peanut styling |
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| Puppies! |
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