Come on Already

I know I am so far behind on posting. It has been a rough few weeks. My seizures have increased, despite all the meds. This week, he increased one of my meds and added a new one. They are still increasing. He wants to put me in the hospital and basically sedate me for a few days, take me off most of the meds, and put me on an old school IV formulation of an anti-seizure med. The goal is that I won't have seizures for a few days. Once I go a few days, it's almost like a reboot/retraining of the brain. The hope is that my brain will get used to not having seizures and I will come out of it having none. I will still need to be on anti-seizure meds, but Lord willing, won't have anymore.

B's parents are coming in town this weekend and so it doesn't seem fair that every time they go to see their kids, they have to sit in the hospital. I told B he might get a little bit more Mexican food (I don't really like Tex-Mex and they love it) if I'm in the hospital while they are here, though. Since they are coming to town this weekend, the doc has said that we will wait until Monday, once they have gone home. If the seizures are still bad at that point, he will admit me and try this intense sedation method.

I don't want to go back into the hospital or have to be extremely sedated, but I want these to be over. I'm just so ready to feel like I can serve my husband, spend time with friends, even help clean the house, etc. I have tried to make a few meals for B over the last few days, but it's been salad, frozen pizzas, and Tyson any'tizers because none of them have me standing at the stove where something could boil over, cause a fire, etc., if I was to have a seizure. B has been wonderful about making dinner, doing the dishes, etc., most every night. He is so wonderful and special. I pray that all marriages could have husbands that love and serve their wives like he does for me. It amazes me daily.

I did receive a call from my manager yesterday that since I am now on Long Term Disability, I need to turn in my car, computer, etc. Also, if they feel the need to fill my position, they can and the hope is that when I can come back there will be a position nearby that I can fill quickly. This isn't especially common. So, please be in prayer for our wisdom, the company's choices, etc.

We are so grateful for the Lord and His provision through all of this craziness. Thank you all for petitioning Him on our behalf.

This is the scripture I am trying to cling to right now:

Wait for the LORD, be strong & take heart and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:14

I wait for the LORD, my sould waits, and in HIS Word, I put my hope.

Psalm 130:5

Now, faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1