Merry Christmas!

Starting with Christmas Eve....

We went to the Christmas Eve service that our church was having with New Caldonia. This is the church that we mentioned a few weeks ago that our church has begun a partnership with in the community. We had two joint services and learned about God's presence, rather than presents. Our old neighbors, the R family, joined us for the service, too. We had fun!! I think we are seeing more and more that certain sounds do trigger seizures. We usually sit in the very back of church, but that wasn't much of an option Christmas Eve. So, we were right next to the drums, tamborine, and organ. Therefore, I had a seizure during the service...It was definitely a special evening, though.



I didn't get any pics, but we went to my cousin's house for Christmas Eve. We then spent the night at Mom's house. Santa found us there. I had quite a few seizures Christmas Eve & Day. So, I was quite exhausted.


Hank & Rudder both got Aggie footballs from their Gamma. They hold on to their footballs a bit better than the Ags did this year, though!!

Rudder was scared of the sounds of all of the paper being torn and hid most of the time. This was his one venture in to the room to see what we were doing...


Hank, on the other hand, laid on the couch and watched everything we did throughout the day.


Once everyone left Mom's house, we went over to see Congressman Hall. This is his first Christmas without his precious wife of over sixty years. So, we got to spend some special time with him, just hangin' on his couch. B loves history and so B & Cgsmn Hall got to talk about WWII. They had some very special conversation time. I was incredibly lost, but so proud of my hubby. It was neat just listening to them talk about the different planes, aircraft carriers, battles, and even decisions that each president has had to make in war times.



I look frightening in this picture because I had just had two seizures in a row, about five minutes a part...

The last couple of days, I've had fewer, but we've also not done very much. We have slept in each day. When I get up and start moving around, I tend to have more...so, the relaxed schedule is helpful. Thanks for all your prayers!

Merry Christmas!

Sorry!

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to send out an update. We'll start with the praise and the reason it has taken me so long. The injection was quite helpful!! I went five days without any seizures as I define them. I still had some auras (the docs call these seizures), but I can keep moving through those. It's the full blown "episodes" as we've always called them that stop me. So, because I felt so well, I was able to get a bunch done. Mom took me to run some errands, get some Christmas gifts, etc. Thus, the computer wasn't sitting in front of me all day and so no updates for a week. For all you precious prayer warriors, I'm sorry that I wasn't quick to give updates and praise reports!

Then, Monday hit...I had four seizures on Monday and started feeling yucky again. Then, Tuesday...worse. After I went so long without seizures after the surgery, I've started shaking during some of the seizures. This has never really been much of an issue, but has become one since the surgery. So, now I am shaking during some of them and they are lasting a bit longer.

I did get spoiled to the five days with no seizures. We are praying that after Christmas, we can get the doc to agree to let me do the injections again since it really did seem to make an impact. Pray for his willingness or his wisdom on why it would make such a difference, thus, giving us permanent treatment options.

So, I had four on Monday and eight yesterday. I went to work with B yesterday (up to his office, not to meet clients) and had one while in a meeting with their accounting/financial/commission statement guru (so it's clear that I don't know her exact title, but she's good at what she does!!). Anyway, I don't remember any part of the meeting. B said it was almost like I had two in a row because of the way I acted and how long it lasted. It annoys me to not remember important meetings like that because she sacrificed time out of her day to help me and then I have these silly seizures that just erase any recollection of what was going on prior to the seizure. It's so frustrating.

I have already had four this morning and it's not quite 10am. I had quite a few in my sleep last night. One of them was over four minutes long. Those are the scary ones and the ones that make me feel extra sick.

Obviously, I love the idea of miraculous healing and would love for that to happen and am quite open to it. I am also open to the docs coming up with a treatment plan that works. So, please be in prayer with us. It would be nice to have a seizure-free Christmas.

Merry Christmas Eve and have a wonderful Christmas reflecting on the miracle of a tiny baby coming to save you from all your sins!! Wow!! How cool is Jesus?!!!

Insurance and Hats!!

The intention of tonight's blog was to update everyone on the insurance stuff and the injection. However, there is some fun at the end!! Basically, I have spent the last three days on the phone with the doctor's office, insurance, manufacturer, etc. Turns out the injection isn't covered through my prescription plan or through my medical insurance, but it is covered through my medical insurance specialty pharmacy.

Come to find out, a quick call from my doc's office to the insurance company would have given us that answer, but instead we went about it the long way searched for reimbursement codes instead. Since the doc's office would not order the med for me unless I paid them a huge chunk of money up front I just ordered it directly from the pharmacy and paid for it out of pocket (still very expensive, but less than what the doc was charging). Now, my insurance says they can not reimburse me for it since I purchased it from another pharmacy and not theirs. So, the lady I've been speaking with at my insurance company has been wonderful and is going to do all she can to help me get it reimbursed, though she says it is highly unlikely.

If we see results from this and the Epileptologists chooses to do this treatment regimen again, we know the right and wrong way to go about this....

My first dose will be at 8am Thursday morning and then another at 4pm.

I called the nurses in Houston to make sure we were getting the meds dosed correctly since this is the first time my doc's office has administered this. They recommend that they are only given with a pump, but my docs office doesn't have a pump. The nurses in Houston were nervous for me when I told them. So, please say a special prayer that the meds are administered properly. The NP at my docs office is an answer to prayer and a true blessing in our lives. She actually helped take care of Granny in her last days on earth and will be there in the morning and plans to make sure the nurses know how to administer the IV.

On to more fun topics. Two of my sweet friends and bridesmaids came out tonight for some hang time.

On our way out the door: M, Me, & F...

I just thought we were going for some coffee and they started pulling out presents. I felt terrible since I can't get out to really shop for anyone this year and didn't have gifts for them. They said it wasn't a gift exchange, but a party just for me...this, of course, brought me to tears. They said a bunch of friends had come together and decided to have a hat and scarf party for me. There was even a gift from a friend of ours that lives in Las Vegas.

This was one of their favs and Mom's fav.
The bow was from S's pkg & you'll see makes an
appearance in each pic. It was the hit of the night!


We still have to figure out how to make the Beret
look right on my head...these guys were sitting
at the couch next to us and really wanted to be
in the picture.


Me & M, she was my maid of honor and we lived
together for quite a few years in Aggieland.
The purple matches my new retainers...yes,
my ortho made me purple sparkly retainers
(that's what happens when you've gone to school
with your ortho since Kindergarten)!!

Me & F, she was one of my bridesmaids. We led
Bible Studies together in Aggie Sisters for Christ
and worked with the Youth at First Baptist Bryan
most of our time in Aggieland.


Here are the three of us doing a quick hat and scarf fashion show before we left Starbucks....

Now we need some cold weather so that I can wear my new hats and scarves!! So sweet and so fun!! This was such a special night and special treat. Thanks, ladies!!

Insurance Billing Specialist

Do we have any insurance billing specialist out there in the blogging world?

We are trying to get insurance to approve this med and it apparently doesn't have an HCPCS J-code (has to do with insurance billing) code for 2008. So, the docs office will not order the med for me without me paying for it 100% out of pocket, which is more than if I go to my local pharmacy and pick it up on my own. So, let me know if you know anything about the insurance billing world and can help us to find the right codes for all of this silly-ness so that I can get these meds.

Thanks!

Babysitter

Many things have happened over the last few days. B was out of town Wednesday night. He had some appts in Houston for work. So, Mom came to babysit...had to make sure I was safe. They won't really leave me alone much anymore. They consider it pretty unsafe for me to cook, clean, shower, etc., by myself since the seizures have intensified. That's why our church has continued the meal calendar. The docs have always told me not to do those things alone, but I did anyway.

However, since the seizures have started back up, they have been more intense. Therefore, the danger level is much greater, in case I am not able to turn off the oven, stove, etc. So, we're trying to honor their requests this time.

I did go all day Tuesday and Wednesday without any seizures which always feels great. My energy level really starts to increase and I start to feel like I can do things around the house. We went to the doc on Wednesday to find out about the IV. They said that they called the insurance company and they called the treatment experimental and wouldn't approve it. So, Mom called insurance company and they said the meds were just called in under the wrong code and if it is called in correctly, it should be approved. We spoke with the docs office and the lady that handles insurance should be back on Monday and will hopefully handle it then. We hope it gets approved quickly and can get ordered in time because the doc said he wants to do it on Wednesday. If we can't do it this week, we might have trouble getting it done the following week due to Christmas. So, let's pray the details get worked out appropriately.

Mom had won dinner for two at the local Hilton. So, she "made" my dinner Wednesday night.

Us, in front of the Hilton Christmas Tree.

Us, in front of the fun water wall.


You can see that my hair is getting a bit longer.

When we woke up on Thursday, she helped me finish the small Christmas tree that I had put up the other night. When Mom was pregnant with me, she started collecting Wallace-Silversmith Sterling Silver Ball Bells each year at Christmas. This has made a beautiful tree, now that there are (uh-um) 30+ beautiful silver bells on the tree. However, since we put up the tiny tree and each ornament has to be polished, is heavy, etc., they stayed in the box this year. So, this year's tree is kind of a Southern version of a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. It's all of our random ornaments, nativity scenes, etc. We got a tree up, though!! Thanks, Mom!

The seizures started back up on Thursday. B and I had a date night on Friday. We got to meet a special couple while at dinner. This sweet lady walked up to me and asked if I was the daughter of D (my Mom)! Yes, I am!! A women's philanthropic group that Mom used to be President of has been praying for us through all of this. She is one of the precious prayer warriors! It turned out to be one of those super small world situations. Her best friend and I actually used to work together at a clothing boutique when I was in high school. Then, we found out that her husband and one of the pastor's that married us were college roommates, etc., etc. There were many fun connections that we kept making and could have continued making, but their food was getting cold!! We are so grateful for their prayerful hearts and for all of you that are continuing to pray.

Today was a rough day as I had quite a few seizures (I think the count is at eight right now). So, we just relaxed around the house. However, just when I think my life is bad, all I have to do is look at my puppies and realize that it could be worse...

Ha ha!! You think they could be more spoiled?

Dishwashers & Grace

What do these two words have to do with each other? Very little and so much!

I have continued to have seizures each day. On average about five per day this month. However, I haven't had any yet today! Thank you, Lord!

Have you ever started the dishwasher or washing machine on your way to bed? You know that little wooshing sound that you hear in the background as you try to fall asleep? That is the noise that plays over and over again in my left ear. We assume it has something to do with the surgery. That is the side that experienced the most swelling. Thus, the side where I had to have the drain placed. So, any time it is quiet (i.e., trying to fall asleep, concentrate, etc.), I hear a dishwasher or washing machine in my ear. Grrr. The "dishwasher" makes it hard to sleep, hard to think, hard to function, but I'm learning.

Thus, grace. I'm going to ramble a bit here and then come back to my point on grace, I promise.

Saturday night, we had a wedding reception to go to...being an only child, my brothers and sister growing up were the kiddos of Mom's best friend. Her oldest, S, was in my class. Then, there was T and then, the youngest, the little bit of pink in the family, K. She got married in September. She had a destination wedding. We intended to be there. However, I was stuck in the hospital and so we weren't able to be there supporting her on that special day. So, no seizure was going to stand in the way of me being there for her reception.

This is B & me at the reception.

We didn't get a pic with the bride and groom.
So, stop the music on our page (he's a musician and
the song playing on their page is beautiful) and
click on this link and see how precious they are...

Most of you know that the seizures have affected my memory and speech. However, something that I've not mentioned much of (because it embarrasses me, yet here I am about to post it on the world wide web) is how my ability to write has been affected. I can type because spell check will correct me, but handwriting is a big mess for me now. If there is any background noise while I try to write the word 'dog,' you might see 'drtgh,' on the paper. It is so frustrating. I wanted to write a note to K to tell her how much I love her and how proud I am of her, but I didn't want it to be full of scribbles. So, I spent most of the day, typing and retyping. Then, I sat down in what I thought was a quiet house to write the letter on paper from the computer screen. Dogs barked, the phone rang, life happened, and it was messy. So, when I handed the letter to her, I apologized to her and even showed her the front where I couldn't even spell her name correctly.

At this, she knelt down and asked me a question that no one has asked me before: "Do you give yourself grace in these moments?" Whoa. I wasn't ready for that question. The night before I tried to write a letter to B's boss thanking him for leading an office that has been so supportive and wonderful through all of this. Again, I typed it first and then tried to write it. I was in tears before I had written the second sentence because I felt so incapable. It is just so frustrating to feel like I can't accomplish such a basic task.

For those of you that have blessed us considerably with meals, love, prayers, etc., and are wondering where your thank you cards are, I hope this helps to explain the delay. They are coming, but I don't even write out my grocery lists anymore.

So, to go back and answer K's question: No, I do not give myself grace in those moments. I beat myself up something terrible. It's writing a simple word. C'mon. This should be easy. Why is it so difficult? I'm a grown woman, I should be able to write a thank you card without having to scratch out every third letter.

I want to make dinner for my hubby, but if I have a seizure and am unable to turn off the stove, I could seriously harm us, our house, our sweet puppies, etc. I want to clean the house, so that my hubby can come home to a pretty house after a long day of working hard for us, but standing for too long seems to trigger seizures and the sound of the vacuum is way too painful. I want to organize things, but I can't remember where we put things and so I just end up making more piles which is a bigger mess for B to clean up when he gets home. I want to go run errands and feel productive, but Texas law won't let me. I want to decorate our house for Christmas, but I had to give up on the idea of the big tree this year and settle for the little one. Then, I realized I couldn't remember how to wrap lights around branches. That has to be a basic task, but I couldn't make my hands and brain work together to do it. So, I eventually just stopped.

I want to feel like I'm making a difference and right now, I just don't. I feel like a bump on a log, sitting at home with two really cute puppies, waiting for the seizures to go away. So, no, I don't give myself grace in any of these moments. I either push myself too hard trying to do more than I should and causing more seizures or just making myself feel awful; or I emotionally beat myself up wanting to do so much more. I'm sure that I should give myself more grace, but I've not mastered the art yet.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I'm just not there yet.

On a bit more positive note: we have seen that each time I've received an IV dose of my meds, I've gone a while without seizures. I've been asking my doc in Houston for many months if we could try IV meds. He replied to all my other e-mails, but not that one. Saturday night, at the reception, we ran into my PCP and told him that we were trying to get my Epileptologist to agree to that. He said to let him know and he would try to make it happen in his office.

Sunday night, I had a bad seizure. Mom and B were both here. When it was over, I went to the computer to type it in (we keep a record of all of them). When I was done, I checked my e-mail and had one from my Epi doc agreeing to allow me to start IV treatment. I started screaming, "Praise the Lord" and crying. Mom and B kept saying, "Yes, but why?" I couldn't speak through the tears to tell them. Finally, B came in and read the e-mail and shared the news with Mom. We all rejoiced!

I just got an e-mail from my Epi doc that he has spoken with my PCP and we should be able to start IV treatment this week if all goes well. I have an appt. with my PCP tomorrow and so we should get all of the details then. Praise the Lord! Thank you for all of your prayers!!

2 Corinthians 1:2-7

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Two Years

Just a quick post to let you know that as of 12:01 am, I just kissed my husband as a celebration of marking two years Cancer FREE!!

Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of healing you have bestowed upon him!

Praise the LORD.
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
who finds great delight in his commands.
Surely he will never be shaken;
a righteous man will be remembered forever.
He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
Psalm 112:1,6-7

http://psalm112-survivor.blogspot.com

'tis the Season

Friday started out rough. I had four seizures before 10am. So, I was quite exhausted. If not for my hubby, I would not have even had breakfast. The idea of getting out of bed, made me sick to my stomach. Thus, it was a blessing that he was able to do a little bit of work from the house and bring breakfast to me.

Once he left, I took a shower and that took most of my energy. I had to lay on the bed for another thirty minutes or so to get the energy to walk out front to get the mail. Once I got the mail and started to walk back toward the front door a beautiful Golden Retriever came running toward Hank, Rudder, & me. I realized I couldn't get all three dogs to sit nicely in the front yard while I went inside to get a phone. One of the neighbors, two doors down, was getting her mail, I started calling out to her to see if she would bring a phone. That triggered a seizure. So, here I am, super wet hair from the shower, very cold outside, surrounded by three dogs (all sniffing each others' rear ends-you know that's what they do) and I've got to find a place to sit quickly, and neighbor never heard me call for her.

My sweet Hank actually came up on the porch and put his head on my shoulder like he was protecting me. The Golden Retriever came up to me and Hank wasn't going to let anyone near his Momma. It was the sweetest, though very painful experience, as Hank started growling at and then attacking the Golden for coming near his Momma during her seizure.

Now, you might need to close your eyes to have as much "fun" as I was. I am so sensitive to sound with the seizures. Since the surgery, the sound sensitivity is even more intense. So, I'm laying on the porch, having a seizure, Hank is now growling at & attacking the Golden, Rudder is in a corner scared, and I'm trying to get the dogs to at least stop making noises because it hurts so much. I can't speak during the seizures. So, I'm trying to clap to get their attention, but I don't have much muscle control, so that is difficult and the sound hurts. I try tapping the ground, they can't hear that. Anyway, Tom Bergerron (sp?) would be paying us big if we had caught it on tape.

Once the seizure was over, I decided all dogs were going to the backyard (the only way I could create a controlled environment). So, I opened the front door and they all ran straight to the back door. Praise the Lord!!

This is a pic of Dakota, the Golden, who lives just a street behind us, but had been missing all night. Poor little guy.

Doesn't he look like a sweetie?!

Hank was quite upset when I made Rudder and him come back inside the house.

Then, Mom stopped by to bring over a few tops for me to look at since B's work Christmas party was last night. She and I tried to go look for some stuff on Thursday, but it was one seizure after the other and way too loud in each store. Once she arrived, her grandpuppies put on their best, our life is so awful routine:

Don't you feel sorry for them?

Finally, we made it to B's Christmas party. I thought I would do fine as long as I could sit most of the time. The minute we walked in the door, there was a piano playing and everyone greeting each other...sensory overload!!! B almost turned me around and put me back in the car because he could see how painful it was for me. I about rolled up in a ball in my jacket and hit the floor. However, he deserves a night out with his friends. Poor guy has been stuck by my side in the hospital for too long.

We made it to a couch, but it was still super loud. One of the precious ladies at B's office that is always checkin' on me and prayin' for me came to find me and said she had found a room that was even quieter. On our way to that room, I had a seizure. However, once we made it to the said room, she was right, it was much more quiet. I think it was literally the furthest corner in the house. I just kind of hid there most of the night. I felt rude not getting to see most of the people there. However, each time I got up and moved toward the noise, it seemed to trigger a seizure. So, that room became my safe place.

My head is also very tender from all the incisions. So, giving and receiving hugs is still tough. I'm trying to learn how to give a good hug without letting my head touch people and me yelping in their ears. It just seems tacky. Each outing is a learning experience. We didn't get many pictures this time out because I was having so many seizures and just felt yucky, but we got this as we were leaving their house. We put on our best, it's not way past our bedtime and we haven't had a ton of seizures today, smiles...how did we do? I think we look quite delirious.

One More Way to Thank the Troops

This only takes about ten seconds.

You can click on "view all designs."
Choose the card you want to send
Enter your name and the message
Then, Xerox will send your message to the troops!

http://www.letssaythanks.com

This is also a great teachable moment for your kiddos!!!

Let's play catch up...

We are rewinding a bit on the posts here and then catching up to today.
**************
Before we left for Philly, our church had a picnic with another local church called New Caldonia. They are an all black church and liked the idea of hangin' out with some white folk!! The fun part is that our church and many of the families in our church are new to the area, but I've grown up with many of the families at New Caldonia. So, it was special to get to introduce many of our new friends to many of my old friends.

This is me getting more cuddles from Miss H at the picnic.

By the way, the sweater I am wearing is the guilty one. That's the sweater we are blaming for the rash.

This is Mrs. A. I grew up with her son and love her like a Momma. She is so precious! I kept looking for her and asking for her and no one had seen her. Then, out came B from inside the church (he was learning all about the history of it-he so loves history!!) with Mrs. A!!!

She had been at work all morning. Her son was out with some friends and so we didn't get to see him, but his wife and little boy were back at the house. So, she sent for them and we got to cuddle on them. This is his wife, S, and his son, A!!! I want to pinch those cheeks all day long. Such a cutie.

*********************
Then, we went to Philly. We had a few days of rest before B's brother and kiddos arrived. Here they are attacking their Mimi as soon as they got in the front door.

Then, it was on to Lego's.

After Lego time, it was train time.

The whole family came down to watch that. This is Nana, snuggled up to watch the fun with the trains.

Then, tickle Daddy time. You can see why I mention that the rest ended....

The day after Thanksgiving, most of the boys went to a train museum. Hubby stayed with me and Nana & Mimi. We all went to a couple of outlet stores and went into a few shops.

The next day we all went to the Franklin Institute to see The Chronicles of Narnia exhibit. Wow! So cool! This was also supposed to be picture day. However, the boys got their faces painted right before the picture. So, spiderman and a skeleton snuck into our picture somehow.

While in Philly, I started to have a bunch more seizures. I'm at eight for the day today. It has been frustrating, but we are still looking to the Lord to see how He is going to be the Hero in this story!! We definitely covet your prayers as it was such a relief to go so many days without seizures. I was getting quite spoiled by feeling so well.

*************
The final pics are from tonight. Our town had its 25th Annual Christmas Tree Lighting. It's wonderful to live in a town where at a city sponsored event they are singing Christmas Carols and you can hear Jesus' name proclaimed over and over again!! Wow!

One of our dear friends, A, was the emcee for the event tonight. I wanted to take a pic of her to show Mom. Well, she saw me before I snapped the pic and was already saying hi to me in front of everyone! Again, the beauty of a small town, but not what you're looking for in front of so many people!

Here we are in front of the Christmas Tree, with our hats on, or we would both freeze, otherwise. I know that was a run-on sentence. Please forgive me!

Despite the many seizures I had tonight, the evening ended on a wonderful note. A friend of ours that was serving in Iraq last year met us at the tree lighting. He and his wife and their little girl, have sacrificed a lot for our country. So, he was recognized before everyone went home. I tried to snap a picture and was too slow. It was a special time, though.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

Well, this will be a bit short, but I have had so many of you checking in on us. Thank you!! You are such dear prayer warriors! I can't wait to see the beautiful jewels in your crowns when we all get to Heaven due to your persistence with the Lord on our behalf...thank you!!

We are home from Philly. We spent the week with B's family. It was a wonderful and crazy time. We had some special time with his grandparents (it's been about two years since we've seen them)! Praise the Lord, we enjoyed memories made with them, stories they told, and the family history learned. We also got to make some memories with B's nephews. We even got to watch his oldest nephew pull his tooth!!!

On Friday, I wore that sweater I mentioned in the last post and broke out in a rash again...so, the doc is allowing me to switch back to the other med I was on as of today. We are going to have to watch very closely, though. I did have a few seizures while we were there and there are a few factors that we are looking into with the docs as of now to see how they might apply.

I just wanted to quickly check in with each of you since you have all been so faithful to call, e-mail, etc., and check on us. Thank you!!!

Faith and Prayer Warriors!

Here we are again, back to the Faith discussion and needing our prayer warriors.

I woke up this morning with a rash on my right arm. Many meds can cause an allergic reaction that presents as a rash, some can be quite dangerous (this is the problem with being in pharma sales, you know this silly stuff). So, I sent an e-mail to my doc. He said he wasn't worried, but to let him know if it spread.

It spread to my left arm. So, I e-mailed him again. One of our old neighbors and sweet friends is a doc and agreed to look at it so that I could tell the epileptologists exactly what we were seeing. I tried to blame it on a sweater that I wore yesterday. She looked at it and agreed that it's probably more the medicine than the sweater.

The epileptologist called this afternoon and agreed that it is probably an allergic reaction to the meds. So, he wants me to stop the current med and switch to one I've already been on because it's too risky to play with if it is the medicine. Why does this matter? What does this have to do with faith?

The med that I am stopping is in the same family as a med I was on prior to the surgery, but I started this med the day after surgery (the first day with no seizures). The docs didn't really count this as a change in meds and neither did we. However, there was that little bitty something in the back of my head (doubt, not staples) wondering if this med could be playing a role in only one seizure since November 10th. Then, we go the faith route...this is God, not man. God is the hero in this story, not man.

It all goes back to those few words mentioned the other day:
Faith.
Trust.
Acknowledgement.
Praise.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

B reminded me this evening that we keep looking at this situation and marveling that the only explanation for no seizures is the Lord. Yet, there is the little inkling that maybe this med is playing a role. Maybe this rash is the Lord saying, "let me show you that I am the Hero of this story!" It brings me to tears to think about it. Wow! Why would he choose me to show His power?

My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. 1 Corinthians 2: 4-5

So, I am begging each of you to pray for God's glory to continue to be made known in this. That He will continue to be the Hero of this story. That we will continue to look at this "situation" that does not make any sense and see HIM!! That I will not waiver in my faith, but trust HIM. However, no matter what, He is still faithful!

What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness? Not at all!...Romans 3:3-4

I must continue remembering that though He might be asleep on the cushion, He has shown me that He is in complete control.
...A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!" Mark 4:37-41

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. Luke 17:5-6

Each time I read the scripture below, I obviously think of the last three years. However, when I think of the crowd surrounding Jesus, I can't help but think of all of you, my precious prayer warriors, standing in the gap for us, sitting at His feet for us. Yes, He knows when I am trying to touch the hem of His robe, but He also feels each of you surrounding Him on my behalf. Thank You!!

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"
"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' "
But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."
Mark 5: 25-34

Update...

What's happened over the last few days?

First, I had a visit from one of my sweet friends. M, was my Maid of Honor. We don't get to see each other nearly as often as I would like...so, it was a special treat to have her visit.


I wasn't supposed to be in public until the staples were removed and the doc gave the go ahead (infection risk)...however, one of B's groomsmen, that has been in Ecuador with the Peace Corps for the last two years, was in town Wednesday evening. So, I broke the rules. We had dinner with him, his family, and another one of B's groomsmen (that just donated a kidney to an 11 year old). Such a stud!!


We left the next morning for Houston to have the staples removed. You can see the pics below with the neurosurgeon and the excessive amounts of betadine all over my head.
It didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. All 38 staples were out within about 10 minutes. The "staple pull" was like a little pair of scissors that bent the staple in the middle and popped it right out of my head.

We left the docs office and went to watch my sweet friend A's little girl at gymnastics. Her little girl has come to see me each time I've been in the hospital and has been one of my greatest prayer warriors. However, there was such a high infection risk this time and they all had the little 24 hr bug going through their family. Then, after the surgery the super intense headache kept me from being able to really see or talk to anyone for quite a few days. So, she wasn't able to come visit. So, we got to go watch her at gymnastics!! It was so fun! Isn't that a precious smile?

This is all of us. A and her three kiddos!!

Remember sweet Baby M that we told you was born while I was in surgery? We got to meet her Thursday night?

Here she is with her Daddy.

Here she is with her Daddy and her super skinny (so not fair, only two weeks after birth) Mommy!!

Then, on the way home Friday, we stopped at Sam's again. Sweet Cindy is doing well. She came through her surgery and is feeling great. Thank you for praying for Cindy. She was so sweet when we walked in as were the rest of the ladies there. The other lady in the picture walked up and said that they had just been talking about us the day before, wondering how we were doing. So sweet. Such precious prayer warriors.


We finally made it home late Friday night and got to snuggle with our puppies.