Caught Between Two Worlds

 

²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²² But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. ²³ But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; ²⁴ yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. Philippians 1:21-24

 

Oh, the dilemma of choice! How incredibly hard it can be at times to choose between one versus the other.  The passage from Paul for me has been, in all honesty, a “thumbs-up” passage.  It sounds great and I agree…or do I?  I do.  However, let me introduce you to someone who absolutely understands what Paul is sharing…

Princess. 

While there has been somewhat of a hiatus in our posts, much of it was because life has been status quo.  No significant changes as life continues…until this past week.  With the events of this past week Princess has taught and shown me Paul’s passage.  This past Wednesday,  Princess’ seizures spiked.  And while it wasn’t necessarily more than what we have experienced or seen in the past, Thursday became worse, with Princess totaling nearly 50 seizures by noon. As we watched and counted even higher, the night did not provide rest and Friday was on pace to see even more than the day before.  Note, by this time, no rescue med touched her seizures nor provided any rest.  Saturday, with the help of a dear friend/ER Physician we prayed, and wisdom was provided to transition Princess to hospice and allow hospice to manage the seizures.  With 24-hour nursing care and more medication than ever, Princess was finally able to get some rest from her seizures by Sunday. 

It has been during this time where Princess amazes and continues to teach me Paul’s lesson.  Given the challenges, Princess is ready to be “home.”  For her to die is truly gain.  A life free of pain.  A life free of seizures.  And so much more!  The greatness and glory of sitting and worshipping Jesus consumes Princess’ mind and heart, and she longs for that homecoming!  Yet, while this consumes her heart and mind, despite being on hospice and unable to process much today, she has still been relentless is being what I see to be a Proverbs 31 woman!  Amidst the adversity…despite circumstances, her focus has been on Critter and me and trying to do all she does for us at and in the home.  From household chores, to daily planning, and making sure everyone is where they need to be she has also been laser focused on making sure that people know 1) there is a God, 2) he loves you, and 3) because of His great love for everyone through the death of his son Jesus Christ and Christ’s resurrection from the grave, that those who receive this Good News can also experience Paul’s passage!  Oh the gain!  Oh the joy! 

Please pray for Princess.  She is hurting.  She wants rest…AND she wants everyone to come to know Christ.  Oh the unspeakable joy, EVEN in the midst of pain and struggle.  What great gain lies ahead for those who call upon and trust the name of Jesus.