Prayer...from Connor's Mommy

Wow!

I think that Joy has read my mind and heart with this post. I have struggled in many of the same ways. Lord, we are praying for healing, we are doing it the way you tell us to, etc., why am I still having so many seizures & now migraines, too? Yet, as hard as it is to swallow (and I don't want to swallow this), Joy is right in what she states below.

Be blessed!

**********

I mentioned on my last blog how my prayer life has been under construction. During Connor's illness, I was always searching for bible verses and Christian books on a powerful prayer life. I was constantly in prayer for Connor and others. I was praying specifically. I was praying with Faith and Belief. I was praying with a group of united believers (when 2 or more are gathered in his name). I was approaching God with a repentant heart, always asking Him to search my heart for anything that would hinder my prayers. I didn't want to be lacking for anything in my prayer life. I didn't want to search my heart and my prayer life and find that I was hindering Connor in any way. I found myself following the instructions of all the best books on prayer. I was thorough, trying to find the right "recipe" for answered prayers.

At the end of Connor's battle with cancer, I found myself dazed and confused. Nothing about "powerful prayers" made sense anymore. The advice from all those "experts" didn't seem to measure up, didn't seem to work. Even following the Bible's advice on prayer didn't seem to help my case any. Praying with belief, praying in large numbers, praying specifically, praying in the right order, etc. didn't add any specific "power" to my prayers. I eventually realized that the quality and quantity of prayers do not change the course of God's plans for all of us. His plans will not be thwarted. His plans are much bigger than my personal desires.

So, here I am searching for the true, right meaning of my prayers...how God means for me to pray. I've come to the conclusion that our prayers are another example of complete faith and leaning on God's sovereignty without complete understanding. Complete surrender. It is not a wish list. There is not a recipe. It's our willingness to line up our will to His. Our opportunity to commune with Him. Our grateful response to His blessings and His character. Our heart's cry of pain and agony that resonates with His heart. Our choice to be obedient to His command to "Be still and know Him." Our chance to bask in His Presence, to feel His joy and His peace.

I find that all these lessons continue to bring me back to the same principle....complete surrender in all areas of my life. I find that my prayers look different now. I continue to "cast my cares upon Him, because He cares for me" (I Peter 5:7). I also pray for His will, for God's Grace to get through whatever comes our/your way, for God to redeem the situation and for me/us to know Him more. I don't know if this would be the best foundation for a book on powerful prayer. I think the experts may not agree fully with me. I just know that that's where I am right now - trying to sort through the ashes of my disappointed dreams and my unanswered prayers.

I like Sarah Young's perspective on the matter.

"Do not seek me primarily for what I can give you. Remember that I,the Giver, am infinitely greater than any gift I might impart to you.

I am calling you to a life of constant communion with Me. Remember your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; it is to keep communing with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day."

Always believing,

Joy Cruse

Update on Nate 03/25/2010 - From Wes

"Dr Bowers said pathologist verified the tumors are Medulloblastoma spread to the bone in the pelvis. Please do not give up praying. The LORD God listens. Amen"

Update on Nate - 03/24/2010

Wes called and said that they spoke with the Dr today regarding the biopsy, but that the results were inconclusive and that the Dr could not confirm if cancer or not. More tests are being completed now and hopefully will know more tomorrow. Please continue your prayers for Nate and the Oxfords.

In Christ,
Scott

Nate

Subject: Update on Nate - 03/23/2010

Wanted to let everyone know that Nate was at the Hospital today and had a biopsy on the locations found on his hip. Wes said they should get the results tomorrow. He continues to be in pain. Please continue to pray for Nate for God's comfort and sustaining help. I will update as soon as I hear from Wes tomorrow.
In Christ,
Scott

Pray for Nate

Please keep the Oxford family in your prayers.

Nate has not been doing well.

Nate was rushed to the hospital this morning, he was screaming all night in pain. He's been given 2-6 months but we know that God has his own plans. I've attached his Facebook link if you would like to receive regular updates such as news about Nate's health, fundraising efforts, and specific prayer needs.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=42012022806

--Scott

Video to watch

You've got to go to this blog and then watch the video!

Good video to get you ready for the Ags playing today!!

Update on Nate - 03/18/2010 - From Wes

Wes said that the MRI had revealed more tumors all over his legs and hips. The Dr's said that it was the worst possible scenario and there was not much that could be done by way of treatment. Wes asked that we continue to pray without ceasing and not give up. Wes and Jackie are both hopeful and trusting that Nate will be healed and that God will be glorified through this. They want everyone to know that God is bigger than cancer and bigger than all of our problems and that He is faithful to hear the prayer of His children.

Nate Update!!

Another update on sweet little Nate:

I wanted to send out an update on Nate's status. The MRI has been scheduled for Thursday at 12:30 tomorrow. The purpose of the MRI will be to get a clearer picture of the mass that was found in Nate's hip area. Depending on what is found in that MRI, they will conduct a biopsy of the area to confirm what this is. Please continue your prayers for Nate and all the Oxfords. Please pray about the MRI that is taking place tomorrow at 12:30. Please pray that God would reveal clearly what is taking place with Nate and that the Dr's will have wisdom with how to proceed.
In Christ,
Scott

Plea for Prayers

I come to you this morning, begging for prayers!! It's been a rough week and today isn't any better.

I have had 44 seizures in the last seven days, not including today. Today, I've already had six, all before 10am. The first nine days of the month, I only had 13 seizures! This was a great average for me and was showing marked improvement.

Then, something went crazy. I "typically" average around 2.5/day, yet right now, I am averaging over 6/day. After doing EKGs while also doing the EEGs, they have equated each of my seizures to the equivalent of me running a marathon (if only I had the cute little marathon runner body). What they have found, is that each seizure places the strain on my heart, equivalent to that of running a marathon. So, I have already run SIX marathons this morning and I'm exhausted.

We have no idea what is causing this and are praying for wisdom in the decisions that we make. We are supposed to be leaving in a few days to go meet our new sister-in-law and niece and nephew. Traveling is tough when I'm having so many seizures (and because I have to take every single meal with me).

So, will you all please pray, believing HE will answer?

1. Healing from the seizures...no more seizures!
2. Safe & hassle-free travels-I have to take every single bite of food that I will eat while away and obviously TSA isn't a huge fan.
3. Wisdom with meds, meals, etc. Do we need to change something?

Thank you all so very much!

Update on Little Nate

For those of you that were praying for Nate today, here is the update we received:

I spoke with Wes and he provided more information from Nate's Spinal Tap today. Wes, Jackie and Nate are so thankful for the prayers and encouragement they have received. The preliminary results of the Spinal fluid is that it is clear of cancer. They sent the fluid off to have a more complete test and they will have the results back on Thursday. While completing the X-ray for the Spinal Tap, Dr's noticed a mass in Nate's hip. The Dr's will schedule an MRI to examine the hip area closer. Hopefully this will take place tomorrow. The Dr's felt this would explain why Nate was having so much pain in his back but want to wait for the MRI to examine what this mass is. Please continue to pray for Nate, asking God to comfort him. Asking that God reveal to the Dr's what is taking place and how to best move forward. Asking that God would send His sustaining help and show Nate, Wes and Jackie just how close He can be in times like this. "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:22.

In Christ,
Scott

Special Birthday!

To catch you up to speed, this is a post about little Nate from January of this year:

GREAT NEWS!!!

"Praise God, for HE is merciful. We got the results back from Nate's MRIs, and all scans are clear…no cancer. The doctors are very pleased, and were excited to be able to provide this news. When chemo started last January he was given a 15% chance to make it 3 months, and he made it six months before it came back worse than ever. When he began radiation in June and ended at the end of July, he was given six weeks to six months of borrowed time, and here he is…TO GOD BE ALL PRAISE AND GLORY. Nate truly is a miracle from God every day he is alive. I am not saying any of us deserve this, I am, however, saying that God had mercy on us and we will forever give HIM the glory for his healing. We thank all the doctors and nurses who have seen us through this. Many people have spent many hours laboring over him to help him get to this point. We also want to thank everyone around the world for your much needed prayers and for helping us along the way. We have been praying about larger ways to give back and help others, and we will begin on those things in the near future, using what God has done for us as a way to show HIS love to others.

You have all been praying for Nate, you might remember his picture from B's Surprise B-day Party! We were all celebrating that Nate was cancer free! His picture is about half way down the page.

Well, this weekend, we got to celebrate Nate's 5th birthday! How awesome to be there to celebrate one more year that wasn't promised. However, all thanks to the Lord, Nate survived!!

Crossing the street, from all the fun that was had at the park!

Back inside, dyeing Easter eggs.

Sweet Nate!

Getting ready to blow out his candles!
Praise the Lord as we never knew if this birthday would be celebrated!

Two cancer survivors!!
Posing with Mr. B! How about Nate's smile!?!?

Please continue to pray for Nate. He has started having some pain again and it's harder for him to walk. These are signs the docs said to watch for that would point to the return of the cancer...so, he was rushed back in this past weekend for MRIs, etc.

They did find another tumor in his brain. So, please say extra special prayers for little Nate. They will be doing a Spinal Tap on Tuesday. Pray! Pray!! Pray!!!

Palindromes

I received this in an e-mail and had to share:

A palindrome reads the same backward as it does forward. This video reads the exact opposite backward as forward. Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite.

This is only a 1 minute, 44 second video and it is brilliant. Make sure you read; as well as, listen...forward and backward.

This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old. The contest was titled
"u @ 50" by AARP.

This video won second place.. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant.

Take a minute and watch it.

Lost Generation