Update from Connor's Mommy

Joy's Journal Monday, August 17, 2009 MacKenzie and Carson started school this past week. I think it was good for them to get back to their school and their friends. For them, home is a much more difficult reminder of Connor's absence. School will be a welcome relief for them. It was a little harder for me and Tait. I was so relieved that the 3rd grade hall was not close to Carson's class this year. It was weird just going into just two classrooms to take pictures and give hugs to start the new school year. It felt like we were forgetting something. I guess this is just the beginning of new "firsts". We'd appreciate your prayers for this "new normal". I heard this song on the radio the other day. It is a song called "Heaven is the Face", by Steven Curtis Chapman. He wrote it about his little girl who passed away several months ago in an accident. It struck home with me. I can so identify with him that Heaven is not just where Jesus lives anymore, but where my little boy lives, too. That's what Heaven is for me now. "Heaven is the face of a little boy With blue green eyes That disappear when he smiles. Heaven is the place Where he calls my name Says, "Daddy please come play with me for awhile." Chorus: God, I know, it's all of this and so much more, But God, You know, that this is what I'm aching for. God, you know, I just can't see beyond the door. So right now... Heaven is the sound of him breathing deep, Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing. And Heaven is the weight of him in my arms, Being there to keep him safe from harm while he dreams Bridge: But in my mind's eye I can see a place Where Your glory fills every empty space. All the cancer is gone, Every mouth is fed, And there's no one left in the orphans' bed. Every lonely heart finds their one true love, And there's no more goodbye, And no more not enough, And there's no more enemy (no more). Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss And a thousand other little things I miss with him gone. Heaven is the place where he takes my hand And leads me to You, And we both run into Your arms. Oh God, I know, it's so much more than I can dream. It's far beyond anything I can conceive. So God, You know, I'm trusting You until I see Heaven in the face of my little boy." Always believing, Joy