Naked

Did I get your attention? I guess it's the marketing major in me. I'm about to expose my inner self, so no need to cover the kids' eyes.

I have come to quite the realization this last week. As much as I would like to believe otherwise, my Identity has not been found in Christ. It has been found in my accomplishments at work, home, etc. I have looked to outward accolades for my true value and worth.

I was not raised this way. If I was ever complimented on outward beauty, Mom responded with, "she's even more beautiful on the inside." My Mom always told me that what mattered most was what was on the inside. I've always believed it, wholeheartedly. However, it's not until you are placed in the fire and all of those outward signs of beauty and the worldly accomplishments are removed (burned), that you see what remains.

It's when your hair is cut off, that you realize you still held to that as a sign of beauty. It's when you can no longer work and receive accolades for your sales numbers, that you realize you found worth in your manager saying, "way to go." It's when the sound of a vacuum is too loud for you to vacuum the floor that you realize just seeing the lines on the floor, the difference that makes, convinces you that you've done something worthwhile for the day(not to mention it's nice to have a clean house). Even wanting to drive to the hospital to love on other patients that are in the same boat as me, but no driving until I'm seizure free for six months.

Through this journey, many people have told us that they have been inspired. I haven't believed it, because I haven't seen it. When B was diagnosed with cancer, two people came to know the Lord through his journey (from Sept. to Dec. 2006). They will now have eternity forever with our Savior! Wow!!! We got to see that.

Through this super long journey (Mar. 2006-present), I have not seen any of that. However, this week, the Lord has revealed to me, that my identity is not in my hair, my #s at work, being able to vacuum my house, or even being able to count the # of people that come to know the Lord through this journey. My identity is in Christ.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

Does this mean that I will do everything right from here on out and not make mistakes? No way, Jose! This means I will strive to live for His glory, but there is forgiveness because of His Son and His sacrifice for you and me on the cross.

Do I know what will happen tomorrow? Am I going to have ten seizures? Am I going to have none? Will I be healed forever? Will I get to vacuum? I have no idea. I will just continue to pray believing that He is a God of healing, no matter what I can see.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1